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23 May 2004 @ 06:01 pm
Slashy Nominations 45: They Win That Laugh  
I've been wallowing in pathos recently as the result of an ill-advised attempt to watch certain classic movies. Do not trust film classics, people: they will betray you and leave you in dire need of SSRIs. And chocolate.

Fortunately, FF can be trusted. Well, some of it, anyway. The funny stuff, basically. And now I'm passing the humor on to you lot, 'cause let's face it, the last entry was almost as depressing as, say, the first fifteen minutes of Rocky.

Best FF That Will Make You Feel Substantially Better About the Next Professional Convention You Attend: At the Fifteenth Annual Evil Masterminds Convention, by basingstoke. Smallville x Austin Powers, Lex Luthor/Scott Evil. There's just something so wonderful about this whole concept, not to mention hysterical and right; clearly, Scott Evil and Lex Luthor belong together. And there's evil condoms! And explanations of evil parenting techniques! And talk of Robo-Cow! If you've been neglecting your TV or movie watching, fear not - this story works just as well if you're completely clueless about both canons. Oh, and you'll definitely want to read this if you're considering evil as a future career path. I had been, but hearing that evil doesn't sleep in pretty much killed that.

Best FF That Shows Us Precisely What the DC Universe Really Needs: Competent Psychiatrists: The Death Trap of Dr. Nefario, by Benjamin Rosenbaum. DC Universe, gen. This story explores what it'd be like if Dick Grayson had a psychiatrist - and I think we can all agree that by god he needs a psychiatrist. I also think we can all agree that these are precisely the issues he'd be exploring in therapy. I have a documented bias toward therapeutic humor, yes, but how can you not love (and laugh at) a story in which Nightwing simultaneously explores his Bruce Wayne issues and releases himself from a death trap? And, really, this is one of the most accurate portrayals of a therapist I've read in FF.

Best FF That Proves the Basic Usefulness of Whining by Its Very Presence in This LJ: The Missing Jecht Sphere, by Talya Firedancer, fyredancer. Final Fantasy X, Auron/Jecht/Braska. In an earlier entry, I whined pathetically about the absence of A/J/B in my life. The result was not one but two excellent links to stories involving precisely that. Evidently, my parents were wrong: whining does get results. This particular result is funny, though again I think it'd only be funny to those people who already know what a Jecht Sphere is. If you are of that number, read this story at once. And expect more whining in this venue in the future, thanks to norah, who rec'd this story, and laylah, who rec'd the other one.

Best FF Featuring Authentic Colonial-Period Australian Prints: Port Jackson, by Skud, damned_colonial. Master & Commander books, gen. Again, we've got a humor piece you'll need to know the canon to find amusing; in this case, you'll need to have read the first few M&C books. But even if you haven't read any of them, go read this FF; it's the only one I've ever seen told entirely in LJ icons. It's one of the more interesting versions of picfic I've seen, and it's especially appealing to me, the original Icon Loser. (I have icons only through the generosity of others; any icon made by me would incite pity and mockery in equal portions, and, hey, I've already got enough of those.)
 
 
 
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tried to eat the safe bananathefourthvine on May 23rd, 2004 10:59 pm (UTC)
I'm entertaining a scary theory here, MMWD. That theory is: we are actually the same person.

No, stay with me here.

I'm also in the scary PMS stage where my breasts hurt when I walk and I'm insanely emotional.

I also desperately needed this recs set.

And I also firmly, emphatically believe that wombats make everything better, to the extent that I can produce sworn testimony from my Best Beloved that I've been lobbying desperately for a pet wombat (to no avail, of course; even in Australia, you can only have them if they're rescues and you're planning to return them to the wild, and we aren't in Australia) for years.

Do you also like red pandas? Because if you do, I think we should conduct some searching interviews with our parents.
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tried to eat the safe bananathefourthvine on May 23rd, 2004 11:39 pm (UTC)
So maybe we're sisters. 'Cause:

PMS on 5/23/2004 causing general weeping, soreness, and sharpness of tooth: yes

Fondness for:
Platypuses: yes, a thousand times yes
Tortoises: yes
Monkeys: no. Spawn of the damned. Evil. Eeeeeevil.
Sharks: yes

Likely to vote for anyone promising a wombat on every roof: yes

Read The Illiad: yes
Have not seen Troy: yes
Because are afraid of Troy: yes. In fact, it's to the point where Best Beloved and I almost saw it on Friday, because I really felt like I should, given my whole FF thing, but chickened out just before buying the tickets because we overheard three Orlando fangirls walking into the theater.
(Fangirl A: I heard he dies.
Fangirl B: I don't care! I just want to look at him!
Fangirl C: Ohmigod I love Orlando!
[all three squeal in unison]
Fangirl B: Ohmigod, me too, but I wish he wasn't wearing a dress.
[all three sigh in unison]
Fangirl A: Maybe he'll live! Then there can be a sequel!
Best Beloved: We could just go home.
Me: Yes. God, yes.
[We flee the movieplex.])

Many thanks for the recs. I go now to read them, after which you'll find me in the spare room, sobbing gently over my preferred translation of The Illiad.
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tried to eat the safe bananathefourthvine on May 24th, 2004 12:14 am (UTC)
My hatred for monkeys (and all primates, and do not tell me I am one; I absolutely refuse to admit any relationship to primates, or in fact most human beings, and in fact I'm fairly sure I'm operated by a ferret collective from the planet Ul) is based on one horrible, horrible class I took in college. (Evolution of homo sapiens, basically.) At one point, it had gotten so bad that I had an honest-to-god allergic reaction - urticaria - every time someone mentioned a primate. And this persisted for years after the class had broken me emotionally and physically and sent me weeping into therapy.

(Why was the class so bad? Here's one tiny extract that sticks in my mind, for obvious reasons.
Professor: Some people claim that humans evolved from insectivores.
[Long pause as professor contacts brain, which is located on a distant planet.]
Professor: But we know this could not be true.
[Longer pause. Best Beloved, who was also in the class with me, and who was an absolute demon about paying attention and taking notes, continues the impressive doodle begun on day four of the class.]
Professor: Because there were no insectivores when the dinosaurs were around.
[Long pause, while everyone in class prays for death.]
Professor: Because there were no insects when the dinosaurs were around, because there were no plants for them to live on.
[Long pause. Professor again attempts to contact brain. Entire class sits up in shock and exchanges frightened glances, which glances essentially say, did I just hear that or am I losing my mind? Several brave souls raise hands, but are ignored, as professor has just managed to uplink to brain and is desperately trying to download PIN and blood type, and, probably, own name.]

The scary part is that the professor was quite respected in her field. Although not, I daresay, by anyone who had taken a class from her. (I understand she'd been a decent teacher and a great researcher before tenure, though.)

But, um, rant aside - I love Richmond Lattimore, too. I have read parts of the new, supposedly way cooler translations, but I care not for them. I care not, I say. I also keep the first Illiad translation I read - Shefter - but more for, you know, sentiment. Plus it's smaller and more totable and fits in my purse.
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tried to eat the safe bananathefourthvine on May 24th, 2004 12:17 am (UTC)
Those fangirls are no kin of mine.

No, you're right, fandom is terrifying from time to time. Or, actually, it's terrifying that I'm a part of the same entity those girls are. Although I am fairly pleased that I save my really insane squeeing for obscure poets and books.

You've got the perfect slogan for our kind of fannishness, though, really: More brains. Less squee. (And, let me add, hot gay sex.)
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tried to eat the safe banana: potcpornthefourthvine on May 25th, 2004 01:24 pm (UTC)
Many of the stories are nominated in categories where they are, indeed, the only story that fit there. Makes it easier, see, because I never have to worry about having to look at two stories I love and decide which is better.

Hence, lots of inane categories, very few repeats. None, actually, to date. But I only nominate what I love, and your iconfic was amazing; it actually told a coherent story in LJ icons. And it featured a wombat, which, let's face it, is what ever story needs. (Everything is better with wombats.) And the whole wombat-exchange was frighteningly in character.

But you can't say "they really like me!" You can only say "she really likes me!" Although I understand norah also really likes you, so...hey, guess what? You can say "they really like me" after all! You're liked!
(Anonymous) on June 7th, 2004 07:18 am (UTC)
Pour moi???
Woo hoo! A slashy nomination for "The Death Trap of Dr. N" !

:-)

Thanks!

Ben

--
Benjamin Rosenbaum
http://www.benjaminrosenbaum.com (http://www.benjaminrosenbaum.com)