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06 July 2004 @ 02:37 am
Slashy Nominations 62: It Is Better to Be Thought Perverse Than Insincere  
Kink is one of those mysterious things that is defined differently by each person. Person A may believe that spanking is the very essence of the perverse, while Person B believes that spanking is an essential component of any sexual act more involved than hugging. (Real problems can occur when Person A and Person B get into bed together.) That makes it tough to put together a set of kinky fan fiction, especially since my own personal definition of kink is - well, let's just say potentially quite different from other people's. So I've composed this set from stories defined as kinky by their authors, or by a third party - in other words, I filed it under "kink" if someone posted it or linked to it with a kink warning label.

Read on. Because, really, can't we all use more kink in our lives?

Best FF That Leaves Me Seriously Confused about Its Title: Vibe, by shayheyred. Due South, Ray Kowalski/OMC, Ray Kowalski/Stella. Yes, I can hear the horrified gasps of the RayK/Fraser fans even now. Look, read it, OK? It's set way back in time, and it's all about the interesting effect Steve McQueen had on Ray. (Was Steve McQueen that popular back in the day, or is it just that Ray mentions McQueen at some point in the canon? Because I could actually do a whole noms set just on stories involving Ray Kowalski and Steve McQueen.) And it's light, and more or less cheery, and short, so even K/F 'shippers should be able to read this with ease. But if you can't, yes, there will be an alternate story at the end. I'm not sure of the title because of the way this was posted to ds_flashfiction; it could also be called "Kink," or in fact "Ray Gets Down With Harley." Clarification would be appreciated.

Best FF That Almost Made Me Like Women's Shoes, Even Though I Hate All Shoes with a Great and Lasting Passion, and Actually Made Me Vaguely Wish My Best Beloved Would Give Me a Gift of Shoes, Even Though Normally I Would Take That As a Grave Insult: Not Kinky, Per Se, by Caroline Baker, aka linabean. Sports Night, Danny Rydell/Casey McCall. So. Danny has an interest in women's shoes, which Caroline Baker claims is canon (and you know what? I believe her, because it fits right in with everything else that's canon), and Casey has a tie kink, which I bet makes his career choice both obvious and difficult. (Although at least he has the desk in front of him in case of major, um, lapses while on air.) Clearly these guys were meant to be together, and I don't want to hear any argument on that score - they even have complementary kinks. In this story, Casey is getting his apartment redone, and Danny has some interesting commentary on previous times Casey has stayed with him, and, well, it's the happy kind of SN fic. Do you need to know more?

Best FF Containing the Phrase "Fuck Pig," Which Phrase Is Actually Probably Banned by Several Proposed Laws Currently Undergoing Congressional Scrutiny: Throwback, by Valentin, and if she has a LJ, I would love to hear about it. The Sentinel, Jim/Blair. It isn't as though I would want a law banning the phrase "fuck pig" to pass. I'd think there was something seriously wrong with the Senators and Representatives from my state if they supported such legislation. But there's also this: the one time someone used the phrase on me during sex (yes, really), I fell out of bed laughing. (Well, it was one of those narrow college dorm room beds; any abrupt movement led inevitably to the floor. And bruising.) So I view "fuck pig" as an essentially unsexy and humorous phrase. Somehow, thought, this story manages to transcend the use of both "fuck pig" and "piggy," which is impressive enough that it would deserve a nomination even if the rest of it sucked, which it does not. Be aware, though, that if you have serious problems with non-con, the first part of this could be unpleasant for you. (If it bothers you, scan to the end. I think you'll feel better.) You know what? I'm going to throw in an alternate story for this one, too, so people who don't want to read a vaguely non-connish story involving fuck pigs don't have to. (Though, really, I don't think you'll be sorry if you do.)

Best FF That Suggests a Fascinating Alternative to All Those Team-Building Management Seminars: Wally West and the Crack of Doom, by Sarah T., aka harriet_spy. Justice League, I think, though the DCU would be much easier for dilettante fans if they didn't use the same characters over and over, just at different formative periods in their lives, in every damn series. Flash/Superman, Flash/Batman. (He needs only one more *man superhero to qualify for a set of steak knives! I suggest Spiderman, though other people may not agree.) The odd part is that Sarah says this is canon, and if that's true, I can only think that slashers have taken over the asylum. Which would actually explain a lot of the recent output of both DC and Marvel. (See, for example, The Proof of Rictor and Shatterstar's Love, especially this scan, although every scan is worth viewing. Thanks, greenet!) The kink in question - yes, I'm back to talking about the story - is spanking. If you don't like spanking, you should read this anyway, because it's hysterical.

-Alternate Stories-

Best FF That Could Be Used As a Recruiting Tool for the U.S. Army. In Certain Populations.: Thought About the Army, by Kass, aka kassrachel. The Sentinel, Jim/Blair. I recommended "Throwback" instead of this one because they're both good, and I assume everyone's already read this one. (If you haven't, why haven't you? And you call yourself a slash fan. Read all of Kass's stuff immediately.) For some reason, TS writers seem to assume that the natural progression of Jim and Blair's relationship is: friends, UST, RST, eternal commitment, BDSM. (Not that I'm arguing - hey, I'm all for the BDSM, and it certainly does enliven long-term relationships, but why does everyone conclude that Jim will go from lusting after Blair to fucking Blair to handcuffing him to a light fixture?) Here we have a perfect example of true excellence in a long-term relationship. Jim has a sexual need. With prompting, he communicates it to Blair. Blair meets said need enthusiastically. And with silk neckties. (Well, I mean, what other use would Blair have for a necktie?) I'm not saying bondage is necessary for a long-term relationship, mind you. But it certainly adds to the fun. (NOTE: Apparently my brain was not functioning when I selected this alternate; it actually has more non-con in it than "Throwback." I'm picking a second alternate, which will be TS and certified non-con free. See below.)

Best FF That Could Be Used As a Recruiting Tool for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. In Certain Populations.: Look, Officer, I Can Explain Everything..., by cmshaw. Due South, Ray Kowalski/Some Confusion, Ray Kowalski/Benton Fraser. This one is the alternate for all those folks who gag when they see a pairing that isn't RayK/Fraser. The first part of this story made me laugh so hard that I had to take a break before I could read the second and third parts. (I had a stitch in my side, and my dogs were regarding me with real worry.) Plus, it really changed my impression of marmalade, which I've always considered a cruel and unusual thing to do to citrus fruits, but I now view as something you'd want to have on hand in case a Mountie ever dropped by. To sum: this story has humor, a frightening look at Thatcher's sex life, an amusing look at Fraser's fantasy life, kink, and marmalade. Really, what are you waiting for?

-Addendum-

Best FF That Clearly Delineates the Difference Between Fantasy and Reality, Thus Getting My Butt off the Hook. So to Speak.: A Night of It, by Anna S., aka eliade. The Sentinel, Jim/Blair. And this is the last TS story I'm recommending in this post, even if it suddenly spawns a non-con situation. This is another classic, another great story, another long-time fic, another bondage story, distinguished by the total lack of the slightest hint of non-consensual sex, except in fantasy, and I think it's pretty clear from the start that it is only fantasy. So we should all thank Anna S. for coming up with a story that I could recommend without feeling lingering guilt about consent issues, and we should all be very grateful that there's such a wealth of excellent BDSM stories in this fandom. I know I am. I also know I'm that I'm done with this post. Hell, I may be done with kink. Recs can sure be hard on the recommender's sex life.

So - to all a good night, totally free of kink, unless of course you're wanting kink, in which case, go you.
 
 
 
Dira Sudisdsudis on July 6th, 2004 03:49 am (UTC)
From "Eclipse", the second episode of Due South featuring Ray Kowalski:

Ray: Yes, I think. Look, I'm not Ray. I mean, I am Ray, but I'm not Ray Vecchio. I'm... Kowalski. Stanley Raymond Kowalski.
Fraser: Your name is Stanley Kowalski?
Ray: Look, my Dad had a thing for Brando. Me, it was always Steve McQueen. So I go by Ray.
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvinethefourthvine on July 6th, 2004 05:04 am (UTC)
Ah-ha. Thank you. I feel much better now, knowing that Ray's Steve McQueen thing is canon. Although - having a thing for Marlon Brando? I get that Ray's parents would need to have some kind of weird thing going to name him what they did, but I always kind of assumed it was Tennessee Williams. Marlon Brando? Not to speak ill of the dead, but ew.

Although, really, Steve McQueen isn't much better.

Dira Sudisdsudis on July 6th, 2004 05:07 am (UTC)
Well, it makes sense, I guess. His dad's more likely to have seen the film than read the play. And, y'know, back in his Stanley Kowalski days, Brando was a hottie. He was playing a drunk who beat his wife, from what I remember, but, hey! Hot!

But mostly, hey, Mr. Kowalski, wtf?
(no subject) - thefourthvine on July 6th, 2004 05:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dsudis on July 6th, 2004 05:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on July 6th, 2004 10:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bethbethbeth on July 6th, 2004 06:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on July 6th, 2004 02:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on July 6th, 2004 04:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on July 6th, 2004 02:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Tim Middleston Appreciation Society: geekwax_jism on July 6th, 2004 03:52 am (UTC)
The Steve McQueen thing is canon, I'm pretty sure. He told Fraser his real name and there was a whole thing about how his parents really liked Marlon Brando, to which he added that he always preferred Steve McQueen himself.
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvinethefourthvine on July 6th, 2004 05:13 am (UTC)
See above. And my thanks, because I've always wondered why McQueen shows up so much in dS FF - I mean, surely there were other movie stars Ray could've fixated on. Better ones, perhaps, although maybe I'm just not getting the McQueen Mystique.

But, wow. Naming your kid after a character your movie star hero played? Got to count as cruelty of some sort. I had been sort of hoping that they didn't know about "Streetcar" when they named him; otherwise, it'd be like naming your kid Koala or Lexus or something.

Again, my thanks.

*ponders renting some Steve McQueen movies*
(no subject) - wax_jism on July 6th, 2004 05:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on July 6th, 2004 05:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - wax_jism on July 6th, 2004 08:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on July 6th, 2004 02:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
the upper echelons of mediocrity: flirtthe_star_fish on July 6th, 2004 04:43 am (UTC)
Dan and shoes
In an episode of Sports Night where they all have to go to an awards show, Dan asks Dana what shoes she's wearing, and identifies the designer (Manolo Blahnik) from her decription, thereby showing that he's noticed the shoes before and knows quite a bit more than most men about women's footwear.
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvinethefourthvine on July 6th, 2004 05:20 am (UTC)
Re: Dan and shoes
Huh. Dan the shoe man. I think I like it, although I'm sort of depressed that he knows more about women, and about the things women are supposed to know, than I do.

They'll probably take away my Girl License. I mean, I've been on probation ever since I admitted that I didn't know when to use mousse and when to use gel (and we won't even talk about the makeup thing); this whole shoe thing will definitely be the end of me, at least in the sense of being an acknowledged, licensed girl.

I don't read Cosmo, either. I am so doomed.

*gloomily contemplates a future as a neuter*

*wonders what bathroom neuters are supposed to use*

*wonders if there's a government assistance program for those newly declared neuter*

*wonders if there's a pronoun for those newly declared neuter*

*decides, in the great tradition of coping with difficult thoughts, not to think about it any more*
Re: Dan and shoes - the_star_fish on July 6th, 2004 05:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Dan and shoes - thefourthvine on July 6th, 2004 06:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Dan and shoes - laurakaye on July 6th, 2004 07:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Dan and shoes - helvirago on July 6th, 2004 08:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Dan and shoes - the_star_fish on August 3rd, 2004 07:53 am (UTC) (Expand)
shayheyred: DSsilhouetteshayheyred on July 6th, 2004 08:04 am (UTC)
In answer to your question, the story was called "Kink" but due to a posting error, my silly punning subject line ended up as the title. Actually, originally it was called "Vibe," which I like the best of all. ::shakes head in confusion::
In any case, thanks for the rec!
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvinethefourthvine on July 6th, 2004 09:05 pm (UTC)
Actually, I like "Vibe" best, too. Can I change it to that in my post?
shayheyred: DSsilhouetteshayheyred on July 7th, 2004 06:47 am (UTC)
Sure!
Raven: dS RayK-Frasier by thefakeheadlineraveninthewind on July 6th, 2004 12:19 pm (UTC)
re "Look Officer..."
"Dammit, Fraser, this isn't about the kink. I like the kink, okay? Kink is good. Kink floats my boat here."

::dies::
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvinethefourthvine on July 6th, 2004 09:00 pm (UTC)
Re: re "Look Officer..."
I admit I don't know the canon, but that line always sounds so Ray to me.

*attempts to revive raveninthewind*

C'mon, now. If you die, you'll miss a lot of good slash.

(And don't forget to tell cmshaw that you liked the story! Assuming you, you know, survive it and all.)
Karen: s.i.odditycollector on July 6th, 2004 06:55 pm (UTC)
On the DCU
Why, yes, spankbots *are* canon. I'm not sure how *slashy* that example is... (Because maybe they used it all up on the Pink Kryptonite?) but, yeah.

tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvinethefourthvine on July 6th, 2004 08:54 pm (UTC)
Re: On the DCU
Spankbots.

Pink Kryptonite.

Robin.

Christ, I love the DCU.

(I bet the comic book that scan came from induced a lasting kink in many, many males of that generation. Jeez.)
Dessdessert_first on July 7th, 2004 07:02 pm (UTC)
Okay, the "Not Kinky" Sports Night story just about killed me dead with the oddly sweet, awkward, happy hotness. I'm loving all of your recs--it's a happy day whenever you pop up in my friends page with another post. The letter-themed post and the drunk boys post also yielded some new favorites for me. Thanks so much for sharing the ficcy goodness, and in such an entertaining format, too!