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01 April 2006 @ 08:17 pm
Slashy Awards 140: It Is Not in Mortals to Command the Hot Gay Sex  
In the past, I've gone into the concept of the Aliens Make Them Do It story - oh, have I ever - but aliens can't take full responsibility for all the sexing, you know. Even the most assiduously lascivious extra-terrestrial needs a break sometime. But never fear, because anything, properly applied, can get the characters into the appropriately compromising positions. So today I salute the creativity and thoughtfulness and downright old-fashioned gumption of those authors who move beyond mere aliens to embrace a world in which everything makes the characters have sex.

The Story That Demonstrates Just How Embarrassing It Can Be to Have Your Father Take an Active Interest in Your Sex Life. Especially When Your Father Is Famous for Having Sex While Wearing a Swan Costume. (Huh. Does That Make Zeus a Furry?) An Affair to Remember, by Scarlette Sky and Randi DuMois. (Does anyone have LJ names or websites for them?) Hercules: the Legendary Journeys, Hercules/Iolaus. (Note: this story has some formatting issues, but it's so worth it.) Clearly, there's been some discrimination going on; I mean, gods can be just as perverse as any alien you care to name, and yet this is the first story I've ever read in which the Gods Make Them Do It. Which is a pity. Obviously, Hercules should be absolutely full of gods with NC-17 agendas, but according to my Fandom Informer (marycrawford, and seriously, people - don't ever let her come near you with links unless you just want to spend upwards of a day giggling over a little pig in a Hercules outfit), it isn't. This story makes up for a lot, though, particularly with Hercules's spectacular cluelessness and his seriously inappropriate triumph. (Note for the denser demigods out there: "Take that, Ares!" really isn't appropriate pillow talk.)

And, seriously, do not even tell me you don't know this fandom well enough to read in it, because those Greek myths you read as a kid are all the orientation you need for this story. But, okay, want a summary of it? Ares: war god with anger management issues. Zeus: slut who looks nice on a throne. Hercules: son of Zeus and a mortal woman (I'm not even sure if it's still Alcmene in this canon) who looks heroic in costumes that would make any average mortal despair. Iolaus: witty, scrappy sidekick. Xena: unnaturally fond of leather. Joxer: I haven't a clue - something I have in common with him, judging by this story - but he seems like one of those guys who is bags of fun to have around right up until you have to punch him in the mouth, and sometimes he's still fun after that, especially given how he really doesn't hold it against you. There you go. Now go read this and be inspired to write lots of other stories in which the Gods Make Them Do It. It would be a blight on all of fandom if a handful of old-time myth writers beat us on the perviness score, and yet have I seen the story in which Rodney McKay is seduced by a golden shower? Uh, no. And I don't want to. But the gods are totally fair game.

The Story That Focuses on the Unexpected Bonuses People Get for Being Touched by a Psychic. And, Wow, "Touched by a Psychic" Would Totally Work As an AU Title for This Canon. Walt Bannerman Is Gay, by Tangerine, aka tangeriner. Dead Zone, Walt Bannerman/Bruce Lewis. You know, I really didn't think a Johnnyless pairing could work in this fandom. The canon is very focused on him, on his visions, his point of view - unusually so for a TV series. (Actually, maybe lots of TV shows do this. But I only know TV shows from fandom, and usually fannish TV shows are about either a duo or an ensemble, and the point of view isn't so locked onto just one character.) So, you know, this story, written from Bruce's point of view and with Johnny only making cameos, has the potential to feel very much out of line, very off. It doesn't, or it doesn't to me. Instead, it's a look at the world surrounding Johnny, this more mundane Cleaves Mills where people just try to do their jobs, sometimes with the help of Johnny's visions, yeah, but never with OMGWTFArmageddon, not to mention a totally malfunctioning brain, looming over them every minute of every day.

And that's what made this pairing work for me. Turns out there's a weird symmetry about it, because these are the two people whose lives have been most warped, but not fundamentally altered, by Johnny's dead zone. In other words, these are the two people who best qualify to have the Psychic Make Them Do It. And there's a twist in that which I am not going to spoil for you, but that twist made me even more happy that I'd gone along for this nearly vision-free ride. Because, yeah, Bruce and Walt are still affected by the Psychic Mojo here, but they're also their own people, and the thing about people is that things never go according to plan once they get involved. Even the psychic can't change that. Maybe it's just my delight in ornery displays of free will talking, but I love that.

The Story in Which Ray and Fraser Prove That It Is Entirely Possible to Die of Stubbornness, and They're Just the Boys to Do It. An Incident Along a Poorly Guarded Border, by kindkit. Due South, Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski. And from psychics with - well, not specifically needs, more like a mystical imperative, we go to an entirely other kind of mystical imperative. Specifically, here we have the Vaguely Ethnic Spirits of Magical Realism Make Them Do It. Well, so does they weather, but - seriously, sometimes Ray and Fraser get into this place of being total blockheads, and it takes being hit over the head with their impending deaths to get them to kiss. (And this despite the fact that they've already done it in the canon.) This is what happens to them here (hardly surprising, I'm guessing, given that I elected to bring it up in the story summary), and the metaphorical clue-in-the-form-of-a-brick is a snarky Inuit, which I just love beyond the telling of it. I mean, it's bad enough when you need a near death experience and a spiritual intervention to get you together with someone, but when your Big Fat Honking Clue is mocking your denseness, well, it's time to loosen up and fuck right, folks.

Fortunately, Ray and Fraser manage to do just that. And there are so many joys here - seeing Ray and Fraser tag-team on their spiritual advisor is worth the price of admission (well, I mean, it would be if there was a price) all by itself. And it's wonderful to see that Ray and Fraser have standards, because, yeah, okay - it's one thing to initiate sexual relations at the behest of a deceased Inuit, but letting that Inuit watch crosses the line. Frankly, we could all stand to follow their example. (Or at least I could. My lines are not what they once were. And I don't mean when I was wee and innocent; I mean my lines have migrated substantially since this time last week. Fandom: consistently enabling me to achieve new moral lows.)

The Story That Is Going to Give Your Universal Remote a Serious Complex. The Scientific Method, by cupidsbow. Stargate: Atlantis, John Sheppard/A Whole Bunch of Bystanders, Innocent and Otherwise, John Sheppard/Rodney McKay. What, you thought I could get all the way through a "by god, something makes them do it" set without bringing SGA into it? Allow me to chortle heartily, because this is the fandom that brings all the inexplicably sex-focused deii ex machina to the yard. (And ceremonial altar and science lab and emergency snow shelter and prison cell and alien brothel and rustic glade.) So here we have that great favorite of mine: Ancient Technology Makes Them Do It, and when I say "them," I mean, well - see the pairing label. Because, you know, maybe Rodney can kill people with his brain. None of us is surprised by that, really. But John can make people come with his brain, totally without meaning to, and that is even less surprising. (Let's face it. If ever there was a man who could have an orgy accidentally, John would be that guy. Hell, is that guy.)

I'm as disturbingly vocal a fan of something-makes-them-do-it stories as you would ever fear to find, but it's actually the little details that make me love this story. I love Exceedingly Competent Rodney demonstrating that all that field experience is good for something. I love the way John and Rodney negotiate one of those embarrassing mess hall scenes with such consummate skill that you'd think they had uncomfortable post-sex conversations all the time. I love, love, love the name Rodney and Zelenka gave the Ancient device in question; I assume it's a tip of the hat to James Randi, and it made me snicker helplessly the first time I read this. All in all, this story is fan fiction equivalent of chocolate ice cream, and I don't mean some newfangled, flash-in-the-pan thing like brownie superfudge chunk; I mean chocolate ice cream: sweet, satisfying, and classic.
 
 
 
torn between not okay and maybe kind of cutekalpurna on April 1st, 2006 08:22 pm (UTC)
(Let's face it. If ever there was a man who could have an orgy accidentally, John would be that guy. Hell, is that guy.)

I just. I don't thing I have ever read anything more true than that sentence.
tried to eat the safe banana: SGA smart/prettythefourthvine on April 1st, 2006 10:11 pm (UTC)
He just never sees it coming, you know?

And I bet that was a lot more challenging back on earth; at least in Pegasus there's a limited number of people, and everyone in the city knows him. (I can see the new crew orientation now: "Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard seems like he's flirting, but if you respond, he'll stare at you like you're speaking in tongues. Save yourself the trouble and heartache and crush on Lorne instead.") At home, though, he probably had the experience of being invited to what he thought was a pick-up game of basketball and ending up at a sex party.

In fact, he probably had it more than once.
Trina: House - Groovyninasis on April 1st, 2006 08:37 pm (UTC)
Ever since I got sucked into The Sentinel fandom, I've wanted to dip my toes into due South as well. (Seems like just about every good TS writer is/was active in dS also.) And here you come along with a rec that makes me want to read a story even though I have no clue about any of the canon characters or events.

You're the fannish version of Dwight. Dwight was the crack dealer that used to live three houses down from my parents. Of course Dwight is in prison now - or, well, he was *sent* to prison a couple of years ago, but knowing the Texas justice system he's probably out by now. Um...anyway...long way of saying THANK YOU for bringing the fandom crack. I am a rabid repeat customer of yours!

I'm off to read about these Fraser and Ray people now...
Mal: due south by peter_neverlandmalnpudl on April 1st, 2006 09:48 pm (UTC)
Butting in uninvited (hi!)... these might help orient you, if you're interested:

Due South introduction at crack_van

And They Lived Happily Ever After: Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski at ship_manifesto

Okay, crawling back into my cave now...
(no subject) - ninasis on April 2nd, 2006 10:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on April 1st, 2006 10:35 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ninasis on April 2nd, 2006 10:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bibliokat on April 9th, 2006 08:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball: I can hardly contain my glee.rokeon on April 1st, 2006 08:55 pm (UTC)
(Insert Fandom-Appropriate Third Party Here) Made Them Do It: The Rec Set.

*standing ovation* Truly a thing of beauty.
tried to eat the safe banana: Sharethefourthvine on April 2nd, 2006 11:43 pm (UTC)
Because I've always said that there's nothing more beautiful than sex induced by external forces. (Can't wait for the sex pollen/pheromones set!)
(no subject) - rokeon on April 2nd, 2006 11:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
when regiment is gone: Fraser/Ray warm line by dodyskinkindkit on April 1st, 2006 08:55 pm (UTC)
Oooh, you recced my story! *bounces* And thank you so much for what you said about the story. Your recs are always so thoughtful and interesting, which makes it extra thrilling to be among the recced.
tried to eat the safe banana: Fraserthefourthvine on April 2nd, 2006 11:44 pm (UTC)
*beams*

Thanks right back at you for the compliments and the story, both of which I adore.
fuck you, internet porn will save the world: that's so queerimpactbomb on April 1st, 2006 09:12 pm (UTC)
The Hercules story made me laugh so hard I cried. That is so incredibly pitch-perfect, from beginning to end, it feels like it could just be another episode of the show.

Oh, Herc.
tried to eat the safe banana: Suspicious owlthefourthvine on April 2nd, 2006 11:50 pm (UTC)
I've never actually seen the show, but your comment kind of makes me want to. I mean - bone-headed demigods. Scrappy mortals. Women in leather. If that's what the canon is like, how could it not be fun?
(no subject) - impactbomb on April 3rd, 2006 09:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
cupidsbowcupidsbow on April 1st, 2006 09:43 pm (UTC)
this story is fan fiction equivalent of chocolate ice cream

Okay, I'm feeling the love here. Thank you. That is such a delightful review.
tried to eat the safe banana: Very nearly Rodneythefourthvine on April 2nd, 2006 11:57 pm (UTC)
And indeed you should feel the love, because that story made my week when it was posted. And, okay, I'm sorry; I should've told you at the time. At least I'm telling you now!

(Is it wrong that when I read this I imagine a sequel in which John gets RANDI stuck in his head or something? Because I confess: I totally have.

*happy sigh*

This story will always be comfort fic for me, oh yes it will.)
(no subject) - cupidsbow on April 6th, 2006 12:28 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - impactbomb on April 3rd, 2006 09:36 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - cupidsbow on April 6th, 2006 12:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
Mal: fraser tyk by celtiknotmalnpudl on April 1st, 2006 09:50 pm (UTC)
I don't tell you this nearly often enough (like, um, never? instead of every time), but I love and treasure and delight in your posts and your recs. Thank you!

I'm particularly happy this time to see that you've recced Kindkit's DS story; it's a great favorite of mine. :-)
torch: grarrflambeau on April 1st, 2006 11:08 pm (UTC)
and yet have I seen the story in which Rodney McKay is seduced by a golden shower?

*dies*

*plans on staying dead for a while*

Oh, man. That's terrible, and also, somehow, terribly suggestive. Imagine some awkward, unsophisticated deity on some pretty little backwater planet, catching sight of Rodney as he comes through the gate and thinking "Oo!" to itself, and then falling over backwards trying all the regular tricks, strewing flowers at his feet (he sneezes), lurking all swan-like and pretty in the village pond ("This is a very peculiar energy signature, Colonel. There could be some kind of technology hidden under the water - get away from me, you, with the beak! I'm sure one of the biologists said something about offworld zoonoses."), trying to get friendly in the shape of a white bull ("No, I am not coming out from here unless you tell me Ronon has turned that creature into hamburger. Did you see where it licked me?!").

Possibly it gets with the program later on and starts leaving cocoa or coffee beans on his pillow.
Very inconvenient, as now I have no shaving-glassdzurlady on April 2nd, 2006 04:29 am (UTC)
Hee. Too true. :)
(no subject) - bibliokat on April 9th, 2006 08:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Kat: [HP] i'm going to the bad hellwoo2step on April 1st, 2006 11:59 pm (UTC)
Fandom: consistently enabling me to achieve new moral lows.

Word. Wordy McWord Word. I think that same thing every day of my life.
Very inconvenient, as now I have no shaving-glass: Kiss - enrianadzurlady on April 2nd, 2006 04:27 am (UTC)
So today I salute the creativity and thoughtfulness and downright old-fashioned gumption of those authors who move beyond mere aliens to embrace a world in which everything makes the characters have sex.
Hoorah!
Domenika Marzionemiss_porcupine on April 2nd, 2006 04:59 am (UTC)
What, you thought I could get all the way through a "by god, something makes them do it" set without bringing SGA into it? Allow me to chortle heartily, because this is the fandom that brings all the inexplicably sex-focused deii ex machina to the yard. (And ceremonial altar and science lab and emergency snow shelter and prison cell and alien brothel and rustic glade.)

... No, no. Some of us were skimming down to see which SGA story you went with. Because by this point, most of us can name the stories by deus ex machina trope (and have a few selections available for each) and see "emergency snow shelter" and go "hey, I haven't reread that one in a while, it was good!"
Vassvassilissa on April 2nd, 2006 08:59 am (UTC)
All in all, this story is fan fiction equivalent of chocolate ice cream,

Unfair mentioning chocolate icecream. I had to go get some. When I weigh in on Friday, I'm holding you responsible. Or John Sheppard. I'm holding someone responsible, and it better not be me.
Mary Crawford: gay barnmarycrawford on April 2nd, 2006 09:56 am (UTC)
Oh, man, you do write the best recs. John really is the accidental orgy guy. And the golden showers... *dies*

And a wonderful rec for An Affair To Remember, yay! I have permitted to divulge that Randi DuMois is, in fact, ltlj. All the more reason to go read Imagos, no?

Obviously, Hercules should be absolutely full of gods with NC-17 agendas

See, in my experience, the gods' agendas as written in this fandom are generally more direct - they don't make others Do It, they tend to concentrate on Doing It a lot themselves, with mortals or other (demi)gods. Ares and Joxer, Cupid and Strife, Ares and Iphicles, and the list goes on. That's not the area of fandom I tend to hang out in, as I am hopelessly smitten with Hercules and Iolaus in general and Iolaus in particular, so I'm not the best pimp for that part of fandom.

However, I entirely agree that there should be more The Gods Made Them Do It stories. *g*

And, since I now apparently have a reputation to uphold when it comes to links:
here is a fandom overview for HtLJ that ltlj wrote for crack_van, and we both did a set of recs (Herc and Iolaus, all ratings) for the same comm that are collected here.
Mary Crawford: headhurtsmarycrawford on April 2nd, 2006 09:57 am (UTC)
I have been permitted to divulge. Sheesh. *head meets desk*
vito_excalibur on April 2nd, 2006 12:25 pm (UTC)
Hey. Your recs are awesome. :) I've recently decided that no, I never am in my life going to have enough time again to revive my fandom LJ, so I'm just deleting it & adding some fandom LJs I like to my main journal reading list, despite the fact that I still won't have time to read them, probably. Did that make any sense? Anyway, the point is: hi. Again, sort of.
wordwitchwordwitch on April 3rd, 2006 07:04 am (UTC)
I always adore your recs, but this set has my joy-meter vibrating at the far end. Truly. I had to stay up until 2am to finish the Walt Bannerman story. And the Universal Remote one has been re-recced in my LJ. Well, because.

But speaking of deities, there was a kind-of low-key story in the Sentinel sometime back where Jim was a WWII fighter, and Blair was a faun sent by The Gods to assist him ...