tried to eat the safe banana (thefourthvine) wrote,
tried to eat the safe banana

Dear Yuletide Writer

Dear Yuletide Writer,

Hi! I love you. Thank you for volunteering for one of my crazy fandoms, and thank you in advance for the story you will write for me.

Below, I provide you with lots and lots of details because that's what I always hope to get, but if that's not your thing, just know that I am insanely squicked by animal and child harm or death, and go along your merry Yuletide way. We will meet again on December 25th!

Me (Abridged)

If you're curious about what I like in fan fiction, feel free to have a look around. I do a lot of recommending, and if it's recommended here, I loved it. Also, I can't shut up - well, ever, about anything, but most especially about the works I love. So there will be plenty of revealing and possibly even exposing verbiage for you to wade through, if that's your chosen method of Yuletide procrastination. (I know it's something I do every year. I was heartbroken the year I got assigned someone with a totally locked LJ, because how was I supposed to waste time?)

But if you are a better, less procrastinate-y person then I am, here's a cheat sheet.

I love:
  • Happy endings.
  • Humor.
  • Good grammar and spelling.
  • Snappy dialog.
  • Plot.
  • Point of view.
  • Smut people have to work for, through relationship-building or world-saving or whatever.
  • Many, many other things.
My major squicks are:
  • Animal and child harm or death. These are my absolute deal-breaker squicks; I can't deal with them at all.
  • Embarrassment and humiliation.
  • Misogyny and abuse of women within the plot or narrative. (I say that because at least one of the characters I requested could be expected to be a misogynist, and I'm fine with that, but I am distressed when the narrative or plot goes there, too.)
  • Incest. (This really should not be an issue with any of my requests, but, hey, I figure warning is always good.)
  • Sex involving children in any way, which really goes under child harm, but, again, warning is always good.
If you are looking for more information on what I want, or if you want to check a specific point or whatever, feel free to consult best_beloved or [info -] norah. They know me. They really, really know me.

My Fandoms

R. M. Meluch - The Tour of the Merrimack

brown_betty induced me to read the first of the four books in the series, and I read it in, like, a day, and then spent the weekend twitching and whimpering because I could not immediately read the other three. This fandom has it all - a semi-psychotic totally brilliant canonically bisexual super-sarcastic cyborg! A noble, larger-than-life, Official Designated Hero space captain! And they are bitter enemies forced to work together to save the universe! And the captain is mysteriously drawn to the cyborg!

Actually, looking at it now, I realize that this fandom was just prepping me for reboot Trek, and, by extension, original Trek. These characters are what you would get if you made Spock decadent and sort of crazy, and Kirk - um, actually, you just have to keep Kirk pretty much as-is.

Anyway. I fully acknowledge that this series has many flaws (I'm looking at you, "romance" of Kerry Blue and T. R. Steele, which made me, as I read the series, want to email R. M. Meluch and offer her two sessions of psychotherapy on my dime), stereotypes and misogyny out the ass, and a certain biased outlook on life that will be abundantly familiar to anyone who reads military SF written in English. I don't care. I love this series, I read it compulsively, and I would read a million more books in it tomorrow.

And at least half of that love is because of Augustus and Farragut. (The other half is pacing and plot.) Meluch is obviously one of those women who should have found slash fandom at least thirty years ago, but she's doing her best without it, soldiering on by writing original slash in military drag. So, really, anything you write with these two would be great, especially if it is happier, or at least not wholly focused on the Inevitable Unhappy Ending. You can keep it at the level it hits in the books (oh my god, that KISS), or you can scale it up any number of notches, or you can left-turn into gen. I would love it if they went on an adventure or had a problem to solve or encountered a classic SF trope.

And if Augustus/Farragut doesn't do it for you, I would be equally happy with Augustus gen, particularly if you do some world-building for the Roman Empire.

Casablanca - Rick Blaine/Sam

I love this movie, but who doesn't? The feel! The characters! The twisted humor! The DIALOG, oh my god, the dialog. (I am a dialog person from way back - even now, when I start writing fan fiction, I often write the dialog first and everything else later - and I think I actually swooned the first time I saw this movie.) I mean, the whole Rick/Ilsa thing was kind of boring, but everything else just filled my little heart with joy.

And, okay. I know all about how this could be the start of a beautiful friendship. But there's another beautiful friendship in this movie, and that's the pairing that has always drawn me, especially since, as I said in my details, Sam is so very much a cipher in this movie - we get absolutely none of his motivation or thoughts or, just, anything. (As far as I know, he doesn't even get a last name.) And yet he's so obviously Rick's oldest, most loyal friend. He so obviously has some kind of pre-existing relationship with Ilsa, too. He was there to pick up the pieces back in Paris, and he's been with Rick ever since, and I just - I would like to know MORE.

I really don't care where you set this - before, after, during the movie, whatever, it's all good - but I would love, so very much, to see more Sam, and more of his relationship with Rick. Or, if you prefer, his relationship with Rick and Ilsa. Obviously I believe that there was some behind-the-scenes red-hot sexing between Rick and Sam, but you don't have to go to the smutty place unless you just want to. Sam, and his point of view, and his motivations (and maybe getting him some of the snappy dialog for a change) - these are the things I most hope to see. Red-hot sexing would just be gravy.

Motherlover (music video) - blond dude/brown-haired dude

(If you didn't sign up for this one, Yuletide Writer, and you don't know what it is, I encourage you to go watch it: Motherlover, uncensored. NOT SAFE FOR WORK. As unsafe for work anything has ever been without featuring a giant cock rampaging through the downtown and wrecking buildings and fucking Godzilla. Watching this might make you think less of me, but, well, this is who I am. Better we go into this relationship honestly, with our eyes open, right?)

I - I don't really want to talk about this. I know it's wrong. (So, so wrong.) But this song and its video got me through some massively unpleasant times this year, and I love it wholly and completely, every last transgressive second of it. I cannot even get over how brilliantly wrong this is. Most people could not pack this much line-crossing and craziness and crack into 200,000 words, and these guys managed it in four minutes.

So what I'm hoping for, here, is just MORE. More crack! More crazy! More of these guys being the wonderful sleezebuckets they so obviously are! (And, just to be clear, I know these dudes are played by two guys named Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake, but, really, I could not care less about THEM. I definitely want FPF and not RPF, here.) Feel free to use my prompt about their changing relationship, if you want (something obviously happened between Dick in a Box and Motherlover; I'm just saying), or go in some other direction altogether. As long as it makes me laugh (and especially if it makes me laugh while covering my eyes and moaning at the wrongness), I will be a happy, happy Yuletider.

RPF - 18th-19th c Arts and Sciences - Charles Baudelaire

Since I asked for this last year, and every year since Yuletide started, I think, I'm just going to cut and paste from last year's letter.

There's a reason why I always put this request fourth: it's certifiable. Or maybe I am. But still. I love Charles Baudelaire so much, and I find the world he describes in his poetry so fascinating, and I would love to see a story about him, especially if it's set in the world his poetry describes. (And, by the way - she wasn't in the character list, but if you want to include Jeanne Duval, by all means DO.) If you want to throw in a crossover, well, Angelus from the Jossverse seems obvious to me; in the Angel episode She he makes it clear he knew Baudelaire, and frankly that explains so much. But do whatever! The choice is yours!

I have no single favorite translation of his works; I think most of the translators rocked some of the poems and totally failed on others, so I kind of pick and choose. However, in case you're unaware of it, there is an awesome resource for Baudelaire's poetry online: You can find translations of all the poems here, and there's at least one good one for almost all of them. I whole-heartedly recommend it.

(Oh, and I should note: I don't speak French. I know, I know, I'm totally pathetic, reading Baudelaire in translation. I own it. My point is - a realistic, period Paris background is desirable; I've done enough reading about Baudelaire that I would love that. But realistic language would be kind of a problem, since, you know, I couldn't read it.)

And, well - in general I love lighter, happier stories with happy endings. I crave the happy! Except here. Baudelaire's story is not happy, and neither is his ending, and I would in no way want you to change that. Go to town - go for creepy, go for tragic, go for crazy. Whatever you feel works. (Just, I know with Baudelaire it's tempting, but if you could try hard not to hurt animals or children, that would be awesome. Feel free to abuse Baudelaire all you want.) I will read with gratitude and wonder, and I will fully appreciate it, because Baudelaire's story is totally a lush, insane tragedy.
Tags: yuletide
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