And then I realized that that is totally stupid. After all, I don't watch them that way. When I watch an especially painful vid, I like to follow it up with something from the Lighter list. It's the vid version of hurt/comfort. So for this set, I'm doing hurt/comfort vid pairs. You can watch the hurty ones totally securely, knowing that your safety vid is the very next rec.
The One That Makes Me Wonder If There's a Rule on Supernatural That Everyone Has to Have That Black Eye Thing at Least Once. Rabbit-Hearted Girl (Raise It Up), by ancastar. Supernatural.
I have no idea who the first main character of this vid is. She could be basically anyone, since almost all the women of Supernatural that I've seen (in vids, naturally) have been skinny, blonde, and white; in fact, given that this is, you know, a supernatural story, with ghosts and the undead and so on, I wasn't 100% sure she wasn't Mary Winchester until I saw her making out with one of the guys. (I have to believe that if Supernatural had gone the undead intergenerational incest route, I would have seen some commentary on it from one of you. For the record: canonical undead intergenerational incest is something you should post about if you see it. It's a new fannish rule that I'm making.)
I don't know who the second main character is, either, but I am guessing she's the first one's mother. Which just makes the line about raising up the offering extra painful, and also extra appropriate.
But even though neither Best Beloved nor I could identify the women this vid is about, we cared about them; it turns out that three minutes is totally enough to get invested. (It probably didn't help that, given the blondeness and the badassness and the general atmosphere of, you know, supernatural stuff, I associated the younger one in my head with Buffy. This led to expectations that probably didn't help me deal all that well with the end of the vid.) We cared about them, we liked them, and we both ended the vid actually crying. That is a feat of vidding roughly equivalent to writing a complete story, including both a mystery and a romance, in 100 words - taking us from "who the hell is that?" to "OH MY GOD NOOOOOO" in one viewing of a single vid is impressive. And that's why I'm recommending it: it made me care. It made the life of these fictional women matter to me, even though I only knew them as two of the Anonymous Blondes of Supernatural.
The One That Proves That the Only Thing Kinkier Than Duct Tape Is a MythBuster. James Bondage, by thingswithwings. MythBusters.
I have a careful system of downloading vids that keeps me from associating any information about the vid with the filename. Also, just to increase the confusion, I don't watch things right after I download them. (I have some vids that have been waiting for years to be watched. This is the nature of The System, from which we do not deviate.) So I looked at the file name of this vid and thought, "She actually made a vid to James Bondage? This will be worth seeing." (Because I have long been amused by the song.)
And then I saw the intro, and I shrieked loudly enough to be heard in the kitchen, where Best Beloved was feeding the earthling. Apparently I made a lot of noise during the vid (mostly "OH MY GOD" and giggling, I suspect), because Best Beloved came into the computer room and said, "What are you watching?"
"You really need to see this," I told her. I sat her down in front of the computer and pushed play, and she made exactly the same noises. Even though she is the dignified one in this relationship. And I was not surprised.
See, we've actually watched several seasons of Mythbusters, which is not nearly as challenging for me as most TV - in fact, we loved them so much we brought them with us to labor and delivery, and I am terribly sad that season 6 and 7 are not on DVD yet - and one of the things we could not help but notice is that Adam and Jamie have a somewhat singular interaction style. Which is a management-speak way of saying that they don't just have subtext: they have kinky subtext. (We used to imagine the build team explaining things to new hires. "It's going to seem kind of kinky," we imagined Kari saying, "but don't worry. They only do it to each other." We figured Grant probably said, in response, "That's... good?" Tori probably said, "Dude, bummer. So who's going to hit me, then?") Even the announcer usually seems to be slashing Adam and Jamie.
But knowing that, all of that, did not prepare me for this vid - nothing could have. So I will say to you what I said to Best Beloved:
You really need to see this. (Even if you don't watch Mythbusters at all! Although you should try a few episodes. Experiments and explosions and bondage: it's like it was made for people like us.) This is all genuine footage, people! And somehow they still manage to show this on regular television.
The One Where, in Addition to All the Other Horrors, We See Someone Eat a Whole Maraschino Cherry. What? I Have Maraschino Cherry Issues. It Depends on What You Pay, by giandujakiss. Dollhouse.
Probably the subtitle of this one should be "You May Notice That Dollhouse Has Some Subtle Issues." Truly, this is one of the most horrifying vids I've ever seen that didn't involve either a serial killer or Key the Metal Idol. And unlike with the serial killers (and Key the Metal Idol), it isn't really the imagery that's horrifying; it's what's behind every scene. I don't think I'd even understand this vid if I didn't know a little bit about Dollhouse. But I do. Sort of. What I have gleaned through fannish osmosis is that Dollhouse is about people, mostly women, used as helpless puppets for many things, including sex, which for some reason is not considered rape.
So when I watch this vid, all I can think about is that probably none of these women are actually consenting, or even able to consent, to what's happening to them. (Okay, no. That's the main thing I think about. But I also spend some time wondering why Joss Whedon is so obsessed with sticking needles into women's heads, which is frankly something I didn't want to see in one canon, never mind two. Do men never need a needle to the brain? Or is that just a girl thing? And do girls really need them that often?) Because of that, the part of this that I find the absolute ookiest - the thing that makes me flinch and look away from the scene as though someone just pulled out a chainsaw while laughing maniacally - is near the end, when there's an unconscious woman, and a guy is moving her head around, sort of playing with her, making the whole puppet thing way too explicit. It makes my flesh try to crawl off my body and go hide under the bed.
And, hey, despite the whole Consent? What Consent? thing, this is also a gorgeous vid. And, for me, a really surprising one; I usually have a hard time with vids to music from musicals (um, there had to be a better way to phrase that), and I admit I kind of cringed when I saw the title page. (Three minutes later, it was entirely evident to me that I should have cringed, but not at all for the reason I did.) But this is a perfect song choice and a perfectly-done vid. The fact that it will make you want to go take a shower, possibly while still wearing all your clothes, is just a bonus.
The One That Will Leave Me Forever Wondering about Vampire Curling. Do They Sweep Faster Than Lightning? Kung Fu Fighting, by chamalla. Twilight.
I am not a Twilight fan. I've never read the books, I've never seen the movies, and my familiarity with the characters comes entirely from watching my twenty-month-old child stare soulfully at Edward posters. (True and embarrassing fact: I bought him some Twilight paper plates at Target last week. His whole face lit up when he saw them, so I let him hold them and hoped that maybe he'd forget about them by the time we got to the checkout and I could put them back, but he gripped them tightly all the way through the store; he wouldn't even let them go so the checker could scan them.) So maybe it is just because I live with the Littlest Robert Pattinson Fan, but this vid made me laugh my ass off.
I mean, okay, the song is - yeah. But I cannot think of a better song for what appears to be footage of vampire teenagers playing baseball using their secret vampire powers. (Said powers consisting, let me add, mostly of being attached to wires. I am surprised I couldn't see the wires in some of the leaping shots, really.) It's just - okay. When I think "epic vampire battle," I don't think in terms of baseball caps and those tight Capri-style pants. (Is there a name for those pants?) It just loses something when the worst possible result of a major vampire-on-vampire showdown is someone getting the third out.
But this vid. Oh, this vid loses nothing. Every time I watch it, I giggle harder and harder: vampire baseball! Wire-assisted leaps (spoiler: there are a lot of leaps)! Random floor explosions! The dramatic midair collisions! And, of course, the part where they break what appears to be every single window in Forks (it is Forks, right?), Washington.
I tell you what: there is nothing to provide comfort after some extremely hurty consent issues like vampire baseball.
(Also, important question I have after watching this vid: do Twilight vampires ever have, you know, expressions? Even I could tell that these people were somewhat flat of affect, and Best Beloved seemed actually disturbed by it.)