Well, the kind I tend to nominate, anyway.
Best FF Featuring a Clear Case of Sandwich Abuse: Party Aliens, by daegaer. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Ford Prefect/Arthur Dent. In which we learn that some planets have office parties way more fun than ours. (Of course, Hitchhiker's Guide employees can flee to distant galaxies the next day. Probably how most new assignments get filled, actually.) OK, I'm just about the last person on Earth to recommend this story, but I had to add my voice to the multitudes. Because this - this is just so funny, and I love Arthur's sort of pathetic objections, and Ford's just so very Ford, and, well...just read it. And then thank daegaer for having such a twisted mind, and norah for commissioning this, and fan_the_vote for providing the venue. Heck, while you're at it, thank your mom, too. Why not?
Best FF That Really Ought to Be Called "Love's Bitch": Subtleties, by Anna S., eliade. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Spike/Xander. In which Xander learns to like vampires and Spike learns to make stir fry. Among other things. There's a special prize for the first person to find the public sex in this story, because I admit it's a small part of a relatively long story. But it's definitely in there, and I'm counting it. So there. And now that I've temporarily left the kindergarten playground mentality, let me add that I started this story and then left it. For about a week. Because I was thinking, "Spike as a rentboy. Xander as a rich man. Um, Anna? That's insane." But I was the insane one, doubting Anna could pull this off. And the kicker is that this story is just a compiled series of off-the-cuff LJ pieces. Really, it isn't fair how well certain people can write. Or, no, let me rephrase that: it isn't fair that they can't spend all their time writing.
Best FF That Leaves You Making a Mental Note to Attend More Black Tie Charity Events and Keep Your Eyes Peeled: Proof and Pudding, by Aristide (does anyone have a more complete link for her?). The Sentinel, Jim/Blair. In which Jim learns that Blair is willing to fight for the title of "Kinkiest Inhabitant of the Loft." Well, if there wasn't enough public sex for you in the previous story, this one should make you feel a lot better; what we've got here is an entirely public PWP. And, really, I think you'll agree we could all use a bit more of that. If you've ever wanted to see Jim and Blair engage in inappropriate activities while wearing tuxedos and attending the Policeman's Charity Ball, well, dearheart, prepare to spontaneously combust with joy. Or something.
Best FF That Leaves You Making a Mental Note to Attend More Religious Charity Events and Keep Your Eyes Peeled: Relief, by kassrachel. Due South, Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski. In which Ray learns that Fraser cannot resist a dare. If "Proof and Pudding" didn't persuade you that there's something unexpectedly sexy about charity events, let me offer Exhibit B. Although, really, I think these must be alternate-universe charity events, because I've attended a street fair or two in my time, and usually the most interesting thing about them is that you get to see who actually buys those pictures of big-eyed children. (Exactly who you'd expect, usually.) The sexiest it gets is the standard boy/girl teenage couple licking each other's tonsils, and, really, that wasn't that sexy even when I was in the couple. So can I buy a couple tickets to the public sex Alternate Universe? I promise my charitable contributions will increase markedly.