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13 March 2011 @ 08:53 pm
I am up for auction! Okay, my work is.  
I am up for auction at help_japan. This is one of those "Who knows if anyone will want this, but, hey, someone might!" type auctions, because what I am offering is: a review.

Yes! If you were looking for a bewildered review by someone who probably knows absolutely nothing about your fandom and may not be able to identify any of the characters by the end, never mind at the beginning, I am here for you. I will review any English-language (English subtitles also acceptable), Netflixable (if it will be Netflixable eventually, and you're willing to wait, that's fine) movie or TV episode you choose. I am not expecting kindness, either. I will totally watch Spock's Brain for charity.

Things to note: Whatever you pick for me can't have child death or animal harm in it. (It is okay if they're endangered, as long as it is clear they're fine in the end. And if it's just a tiny thing in an otherwise safe movie or episode - horses die in battle or whatever - I will deal.) Also, I can totally promise to write a review about whatever you want me to watch, but I can't promise to like it. I might! But I might not. And in any case I will almost certainly be poking fun at whatever it is. (See the TOS review below - I really do love TOS. But that doesn't mean I'm always nice to it.) Just something to keep in mind.

Some of my previous reviews, so you can decide if this is something you might wish to spend your charity donation currency unit of choice on: Anchors Aweigh, Star Trek TOS: Journey to Babel, and, as a total blast from the past, The Fast and the Furious.

If this sounds like your cup of tea, YAY! Bid at my thread.

ETA: K-drama partisans may wish to read the DW comments!

Also posted at Dreamwidth, where there are comment count unavailable comments.
Proactively Untwist Octagonal Hippopotamus Pants: azkadelia - translatingdramaturgca on March 14th, 2011 04:28 am (UTC)
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV bluethefourthvine on March 14th, 2011 05:07 am (UTC)
Proactively Untwist Octagonal Hippopotamus Pants: dug - i love youdramaturgca on March 14th, 2011 06:08 am (UTC)
Also, come about April 27, I will be back in LA. I will also be not sick. Delivery of your Hanukkah gifts must occur.
Mal: daniel question mark by jr_moonmalnpudl on March 14th, 2011 05:01 am (UTC)
Can it be a pair of episodes? A two-parter, or two separate but closely related eps?
tried to eat the safe banana: Fraserthefourthvine on March 14th, 2011 05:06 am (UTC)
...That depends. Are you thinking Victoria's Secret? Because [SPOILER]Dief gets SHOT somewhere in there, and that is one of the many reasons I have never watched it.

But, hmmm. If the two eps are closely linked, and together they add up to no more than three hours, and they both meet all the listed criteria, I don't see why not!
Mal: dief yo by myhappyfacemalnpudl on March 14th, 2011 05:16 am (UTC)
I would not put you through that. *empathizes*

Thank you! I shall ponder the options. :-)
tried to eat the safe banana: Fraserthefourthvine on March 14th, 2011 05:20 am (UTC)

Ponder away! I await the result of your cogitation. (I tell you what, I now wish I'd asked everyone to say what they want me to watch, just because I am SO CURIOUS.)
Stasiastasia on March 14th, 2011 05:33 am (UTC)
OMG, I hadn't read your review of TFATF and it's hilarious. True, all too true, and very very funny.

(Oh, and the Earthling wears size 7 shoes. I think. Am I right?)

I wish I had something for you to review, so I could bid on you. So to speak.

tried to eat the safe banana: earthling hey babythefourthvine on March 14th, 2011 05:38 am (UTC)
6.5, which rounds up to seven! (I sent you a comment on another thread about this, but I have no idea WHERE anymore. Organization has not been our strong suit in this household lately. I only managed to get him shoes on FRIDAY.)

Bid on me! You could make me watch Fast and Furious! (Yes, I am shameless, but I am shameless for charity. That makes it okay, right?)
Stasiastasia on March 14th, 2011 06:13 am (UTC)
I had to go find the comment you'd left about the size of his feet (it's on your 33month post). The socks I've started are mixed blues and (so far), exactly the right size. I hope he, and you, like them.

Do you get LJ Messages? I'm going to send you one, so we can keep track of Toddler Feets.

I'll think about what I'd like to have you review!

cranberryink: tfatf: NOScranberryink on March 14th, 2011 06:04 am (UTC)
Your TFATF review was my faaaaaaaaavorite!
tried to eat the safe banana: !thefourthvine on March 14th, 2011 06:08 am (UTC)
And that is why I linked it! No, really, I thought, "Well, Berry STILL really likes that review, so perhaps it will inspire someone!"
cranberryink: tfatf: car paulcranberryink on March 14th, 2011 06:11 am (UTC)
I will ALWAYS love that review. I am trying to decide if there is something else I want you to review. It's a logjam of too many choices!
nessreader: uhura in squeenessreader on March 14th, 2011 01:50 pm (UTC)
2 things.

Yay! I want to bid for another TOS review because I loved your takes on that (and hadn't really considered what a twit canon!Amanda was for years as she's been totally retconned by fandom and fanzines, but I digress) Will go post-haste to your thread to do a bid,
how will whoever's winning bid go over to your charity of choice? Will paypal work? And then forward the e-reciept? (I know, cart before horse, but just checking. It would be embarrassing to win and then feck up compliance.)

2nd thing. Have just read book review on amazon.co.uk that brought you to mind for some strange reason. Actually, came to your blog to do linky.

edit cos had been ambiguous

Edited at 2011-03-14 02:02 pm (UTC)
tried to eat the safe banana: ST TOS blue and goldthefourthvine on March 14th, 2011 03:36 pm (UTC)
Aaaaand I should have read the edited version before replying. This is what I get for responding in the morning.

I think PayPal will work for some charities - you can usually look through them and pick whoever's donation page or accepted cards or whatever appeals to you. I've always used a credit card. I will see what charities they've okayed for donation, and see if any of them take PayPal! And then, yup, you forward me the confirmation. And then I review something for you! And TOS would be totally fun to do.

Also, that is an awesome review of what sounds like a truly marvelous book. Waaaaaant.

Edited at 2011-03-14 03:39 pm (UTC)
tried to eat the safe banana: ST TOS earthefourthvine on March 14th, 2011 03:47 pm (UTC)
And I found at least one of the charities does take PayPal!
nessreader: mountie hearts wolfnessreader on March 14th, 2011 03:53 pm (UTC)

O goody. Thank you. I only have debit, not credit card, so many online purchases are impossible for me - just as well for my budget, is the silver lining.

Very inconvenient, as now I have no shaving-glassdzurlady on March 16th, 2011 09:05 am (UTC)
Whoops, wrong window. They both said 'thefou...' on my tabs, it was confusing. :( Will repost on recs post.

Edited at 2011-03-16 09:06 am (UTC)
twfftwtfwftw on March 25th, 2011 04:44 am (UTC)
Oh, how I wish I was about to win the lottery.

...well, it's probably just as well for you. I'd probably ask you to do Keen Eddie, and then your head would explode. (People more visual than I assure me it features Guy-Ritchie-style fast cutting that is hard to follow, and while I don't see it myself, I suppose I believe them, because... why would they lie?)