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15 March 2011 @ 09:05 pm
216: Crossover Paradise  
This post has been brought to you by all the time I've spent browsing through the various fanart offers on the Help Japan auctions. (And I just need to ask: Can we please be done with natural disasters? Forever? Like maybe can we just go into the universe's Preferences tab and unticky the box marked "Allow Natural Disasters"? BECAUSE THE WORLD IS FALLING APART. IT'S SAD. ALSO SCARY.) I spent all that time entirely because of a conversation I had with frostfire_17. We were just going along, like you do, and then we realized we had glimpsed Crossover Paradise, a perfect world of mixed-up hotness. Sadly, I cannot share this vision with you, as I myself have the art skills of a snail, and I can't find a person who a) has a style of art that is readable to me, b) is willing to draw a live action crossover, c) is willing to draw the full bodies of three characters, and d) is offering her work for auction. There is no such person. I weep. Is it wrong to want someone to draw Reboot Spock, Kirk, and Uhura as Dom, Brian, and Letty from the Fast and the Furious? No. No, it is not wrong, and if you think it is, I would just point out that as Letty, Uhura gets to wear a grease-stained white tank top. THAT COULD NEVER BE WRONG. But, since I can't find anyone to draw it, I just invite you to think on it for a bit. Just kind of - stare off into space and picture it.

See? Crossover Paradise. Meditate on it long enough and you'll probably achieve union with the godhood. Or some kind of union, anyway.

Fortunately, there are many Crossover Paradises, and some of them have even been drawn, by people with actual real artistic skill. You need to see them, to while away the minutes you aren't dedicating to picturing Spock strangling Kirk up against a heavily modded muscle car. And I have links!

The One That Makes Me Wonder If Everyone Looks Cooler in a Bow Tie, or If It's Just Various Doctors and Guys Named Troy. Pictorial Evidence Either Way Welcome! Vote Troy, by turntap2. Community x Doctor Who.

Okay, so Fandom March Madness this year was hard-fought, with the possibility of lingering bad feelings on all sides. (Actually, that's every year. Fandom March Madness is a thing that brings so many of us together in embittered resentment.) But I think we can all agree that both of the final characters are awesome. (Although I have to admit here that I have no actual first-hand knowledge of either of them. But! I have seen some Eleventh Doctor vids! And some extremely compelling Troy Barnes gifs. Obviously this makes me an authority on the matter, suitable for providing quotable soundbites should this issue ever come to general media attention.) And I think we can also agree that a mashup of the two final characters is awesomeness SQUARED.

So, yes, this is Troy Barnes as the Eleventh Doctor. Or, possibly, Troy Barnes cosplaying the Eleventh Doctor, if that makes more sense for the character. Either way, this is adorable and sweet, and it got me to Vote Troy. It also got me to ask Best Beloved to watch Community. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a black man who can make it to the end and look fabulous with a sonic screwdriver while he's doing it.

The One That Makes Me Wonder Who They Sent to Arrest the King after His Little Accident. Was It Maybe... the Enterprise? Untitled, by babyknuckles (I think). Katamari Damacy x Star Trek.

I realize that the potential audience for this one is limited to people who love both Katamari Damacy and Kirk/Spock, but since I am so firmly in that group that I might actually be, like, the Vice-Potentate of Royal Rainbows and Tricorders, I don't care. (And, in all honesty, anyone who has ever played Katamari Damacy should look at this. It will make you happy. I am fairly sure of it. And anyone who has not played Katamari Damacy and has the ability to do so should really give it a roll; you will magically become a happier person. And, okay, you'll have some very catchy tunes stuck in your head, but the point is: happiness. Cheap at twice the price!) It's like this was designed to put a smile on my face, by someone who had access to the secret inner workings of my mind. Only without the creepy telepathic datamining that that would imply.

I just - looking at this makes you want to roll up the universe, you know? Or write really bad fan fiction in which the Enterprise encounters the King of All Cosmos. (I, um. Now I am actually picturing this. Picturing TOS Kirk encountering a guy who gets drunk and breaks the stars. And the thing is, I find myself thinking, Maybe they already did that in an episode. It sounds like something TOS would do. Drunken god-kings with strange diction - it's practically a TOS subgenre, am I right?) For the record, though, I think the King of All Cosmos would be a win with any version of Kirk and Spock. Of course, the King would say he's always a win. Annnnnd I just realized that the King and Charlie Sheen would have a lot to say to each other, so I am going to move quickly to the next rec before I actually imagine that.

The One That Irresistibly Suggests a Family-Friendly Comedy Movie Called, Like, Too Many Angels or The Trouble with Angels, Except That It Would Have to End in an Apocalypse, Which Is Not Generally Considered G-Rated Material.
Our Angels Are Different, by quantum_witch. Good Omens x It's a Wonderful Life x Doctor Who x Supernatural.

I think you can see where this is heading: to Awesome Station, with round-the-clock service to Hilarityville. Because, I mean - there are a lot of fictional angels out there, and they don't agree on anything. (Except for wings. Not that they all have wings, mind you, but all the angels I can think of offhand agree that wings are relatively more important in their lives than in the average human's. Okay, fine, now tell me the exception.) I have to admit, I particularly like the appearance of the Weeping Angels in this, despite my, um, historical difficulties with them. (All of you who said I should watch Blink, including my sister and nephew, who I once trusted: I DID. And I left inch-deep gouge marks in Best Beloved's arms. I did far less damage to her during labor. I am not good with scary, okay?)

And then, of course, there's the Good Omens framework (Aziraphale attempting to explain the facts of life to an angel of a different order alone makes this piece worth your fannish time), and Castiel, who I don't have any personal knowledge of, but in this he looks sort of like a hybrid of an angel and a noir detective, out to right wrongs and work his way through three hundred years of demotion or something.

Maaaaaan. Now I really want an angel noir detective story. Please tell me there's a piece of fan fiction that meets my needs. (Or anime or manga. Surely there's anime or manga?)

The One with the Hottest People with Disappearing Thighs That I Believe I've Ever Seen. Although I Cannot Claim to Have Made a Thorough Study of Transparent Thigh Porn. What Is the Matrix?, by ileliberte. Star Trek Reboot x The Matrix.

I love and adore and sometimes secretly snuggle art that tells you the whole story, and the fact is, this one is so clear that the story almost writes itself. Except that I, myself, will never actually manage to write it, because when I get the urge, I think, "Well, I could write one in this fandom, or I could just re-read [dreamwidth.org profile] tripoli's SG1 x Matrix stuff," and I think you can see how that choice is going to come out.

But oh my stars and garters, this is such an amazing concept, largely because I think the world needs more Uhura, Spock, and Kirk in black leather dodging bullets and being hot. Actually, they don't even need to dodge the bullets; I am perfectly content just to admire them. I particularly love Spock's little glasses; the man was clearly born to wear sunglasses. Just as Uhura was obviously born to wear black leather.

(I also love that the artist included bonus cookies for those of us who obsessively look for meaning in any random assemblage of letters. Yes, ileliberte, I am in fact really reading that. Even the Hot Trio in black leather can't distract me. That much.)

The One That Makes Me Want to Pick Yoda up and Just Squeeze Him. I Suppose One Does Not Just Cuddle a Jedi Master, Though. Dr. Seuss Does Star Wars, by Adam Watson. Star Wars x Dr. Seuss.

Okay, first I must include a note that you probably would be happier not reading the text in this one, if you're a spelling and grammar freak or if broken meter makes you twitch. Which I am. I can't help it, and I am more to be pitied than censured.

But the art, people. Oh my god, that is the best Yoda in the world. It looks just like him, and yet totally unlike him! And the Jabba, who I find infinitely more threatening Seussified than I ever did in the original Star Wars version. And Jabba's little creature thing, which I am sure some more dedicated Star Wars fan knows the name of, but I decline to look it up because that way lies the sarlaac of eternal link following. (Is it really a sarlaac? Could I possibly have remembered that right? I'm talking about the eaty thing that Jabba tries to throw Han into, and, yes, I have totally ruined the joke, but I don't care. If it is a sarlaac, I'm officially renaming TV Tropes the Sarlaac of the Internets.)

And then, when you're done admiring the art, you can imagine what Star Wars would be like if Dr. Seuss had written it. Fanart crossovers: expanding viewers' brains. Sometimes in painful directions. (And if you're wondering what would be painful about that, imagine Darth Vader rhyming.)

Also posted at Dreamwidth, where there are comment count unavailable comments.
 
 
 
Pouncer: Imperial Marchthepouncer on March 16th, 2011 04:44 am (UTC)
It is a sarlaac. And it ate Boba Fett.
tried to eat the safe banana: Andthefourthvine on March 16th, 2011 05:52 am (UTC)
Okay, so this brings up a thing that has always mystified me, which is: what is the deal with Boba Fett? Because he had his own action figure and everything, and yet I seem to recall he got only five minutes of screen time in the first three (chronological) movies. Did I miss some big scenes of his? It's entirely possible! I saw those movies fairly early in my movie-viewing career.

But, yay! Sarlaac. I remembered correctly! I believe this gives me 17 points in the fannish bragging sweepstakes, right?
(no subject) - tingler on March 16th, 2011 11:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thepouncer on March 16th, 2011 01:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Nora Bombaynorabombay on March 16th, 2011 04:50 am (UTC)
Troy Barnes is awesome. Period.

The best part of Community is that there is an entirely reasonable chance that Troy will dress up as the Doctor in some upcoming Halloween episode. He's BFF's with Abed. And Abed knows his science fiction.

Community is an awesome show, and well worth watching, especially if you start about 1/2 way through season 1. All you need to know is that Jeff & Pierce are supposed to be jerks, and to go with the particular reality that is Greendale.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV bluethefourthvine on March 16th, 2011 05:55 am (UTC)
I admit, in the few vids and so on that I've seen, Abed has appealed to me more. And now that I know he's an SF fan, I know why!

Hmmm. So, you say skip the first half of the first season? I actually have it, for BB to watch, and I want her to start somewhere that will make her want to continue. Is there a particularly good introductory ep?
(no subject) - ficwench on March 17th, 2011 06:40 am (UTC) (Expand)
Admission to the Burning Ruins — 10¢: SW - omg do melaughingacademy on March 16th, 2011 05:08 am (UTC)
Jabba's little creature thing is named Salacious Crumb, which is one of my all-time favorite character names.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV brownthefourthvine on March 16th, 2011 06:00 am (UTC)
That is a truly awesome piece of trivia, and I am the happier for knowing it. Thank you.
je suis marxiste, tendance Groucho: community abed movie referenceshinealightonme on March 16th, 2011 05:14 am (UTC)
Hell yes Troy would cosplay as the Doctor! He's already cosplayed as robots in canon, at least twice that I can think of. Troy ♥ (I for one am glad that March Madness brought out the Troy love, because he's awesome and it's nice to see a smaller fandom get some attention.)

...Now I'm going to be singing "na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Katamari Damacy" all night, and get weird looks. WORTH IT.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV dogtagsthefourthvine on March 16th, 2011 06:07 am (UTC)
I love a man who can appreciate a robot. (And I'm glad March Madness brought out the Troy love, too.)

And I have to say, if you're hanging out with people who give weird looks for singing Katamari Damacy, you are hanging out with the WRONG people. Or at least you need to do some serious remedial work with them. The proper response to a person singing that song is to join in! And then roll up the world!
(no subject) - shinealightonme on March 16th, 2011 06:15 am (UTC) (Expand)
you're always running into people's unconscious: crowley and aziraphale are confusedinnocentsmith on March 16th, 2011 05:25 am (UTC)
These are all adorable! And I hadn't seen any of them! Thank you so much.

Now I really want an angel noir detective story. Please tell me there's a piece of fan fiction that meets my needs.

Actually, what you need to read immediately is Neil Gaiman's short story "Murder Mysteries". Because it is awesome, and EXACTLY what you just described, and IIRC features canonical angel slash (okay, angels are sexless, but still), and because I'm pretty sure I've seen crossovers with it for both Good Omens and Supernatural.

Also, Castiel is a fabulous character, and there is loads of great fic out there for him that does really interesting stuff with the nature of heaven and God and immortality and time travel and dreams and fandom meta and stuff, as well as in some cases having hot mansex. You should look into that, because it seems like it would be up your alley. It also doesn't hurt that the actor who plays him is delightfully insane.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV flowersthefourthvine on March 16th, 2011 06:09 am (UTC)
They truly are adorable. I love fanartists. I don't even begin to know how they work their mysterious magic, but - I love them.

And, oh, I've read Murder Mysteries! It's wonderful. And now I want to re-read it. Hmmmm.

Do you happen to know of any Castiel recs? I avoided SPN for a long time, because of my unfortunate squicks, and so I wasn't really tuned in when Castiel came on the scene. Is there a list of Castiel Classics or anything? *hopeful eyes*
(no subject) - innocentsmith on March 16th, 2011 06:45 am (UTC) (Expand)
corvis_corvaxcorvis_corvax on March 16th, 2011 05:44 am (UTC)
I agree with you, Blink is one of the most terrifying things EVER filmed, written, thought of, entered into some crazy person's dream. EVER!!! and I LIKE horror movies.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV glowythefourthvine on March 16th, 2011 06:11 am (UTC)
*hides under desk*

It really is. It really, really is. And I don't like horror movies, so you can imagine how well I coped with Blink. Seriously. During labor, I was a polite and considerate partner. During Blink? CLAWS OF DOOM. I didn't even know I was doing it, I was so scared.
(no subject) - frostfire_17 on March 16th, 2011 02:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
X-parrot: wormholes suckxparrot on March 16th, 2011 05:48 am (UTC)
(And I just need to ask: Can we please be done with natural disasters? Forever? Like maybe can we just go into the universe's Preferences tab and unticky the box marked "Allow Natural Disasters"? BECAUSE THE WORLD IS FALLING APART. IT'S SAD. ALSO SCARY.)

Just need the dang administrative password...

(also, thank you for the post - after refreshing GoogleNews for the umpteenth time today, I really needed a smile, and then your post obligingly popped up!)
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV Katamari Damacythefourthvine on March 16th, 2011 06:13 am (UTC)
Yeah. But, man, we should get on the hacking, there, because I am ready to be done with natural disasters. In fact, I would actually be willing to revert to a previous save, if we could avoid some of this shit.

And you're a braver person than I am. I've been able to look at the news a few times a day, and then I get very the-world-is-ending and have to go do happy things. Hence, recs!
Leynaleyna55 on March 16th, 2011 06:07 am (UTC)
Awesome! I love crossover art. I know a few of these but hadn't seen the Dr Seuss Star Wars one which is so very cute.

(Fast & Furious and ST reboot. *headtilt* OK I can see Kirk and Uhura, and they would both be smoking as their counterparts, but I need to think about Dom!Spock some more until that fits. tho Spock throwng Kirk against a heavily modded muscle car def. works for me! *g*)
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV lettersthefourthvine on March 16th, 2011 06:32 am (UTC)
I have a whole back story! Not a sane one, maybe, but - hmmm. Should I not have admitted I have a whole back story?

But I have been thinking about this a LOT. And I can do it two ways - I actually prefer the future universe one, so I will detail that, but rest assured, I also have a back story for this crossover in our present day.

So. We have Spock raised on earth. The rejection he experienced over being a human-Vulcan cross was more overt, and his parents decided to take him to earth; Sarek becomes the earth ambassador earlier in this world. Spock goes to a US school, and Sarek tutors him in logic and telepathic stuff. But the thing is, Spock keeps right on being excluded. He can't do sports; he's too strong and too fast to be allowed to compete with the human kids. He's excluded from academic competitions; the argument is that his telepathic abilities mean they can't be sure he isn't cheating, but really, they just get tired of the Vulcan kid always winning. And when he graduates, he finds the same thing; people are willing to use his work, but they don't want him as an employee.

So he goes into business for himself, designing custom vehicles - anything from a hot rod to a space yacht. He's the guy you go to for custom work.

Then - sorry, but in this version, Sarek has to be the traumatic parental death. Sarek gets killed by a group of protesters during the course of his ambassadorial duties. The Federation, for political reasons, buries the case - there's no formal legal proceedings. Spock is furious. And he has seen the video of his father's death, so when he sees the guy, out and around, shortly after Sarek's funeral, he loses it. Almost kills the guy. The Federation again decides that political needs dictate that he can't be prosecuted; they place drastic limitations on his business license and whatever the Federation equivalent of a passport is, so that he can't travel freely.

And Spock finds that profoundly illogical. His father dies, and they do nothing. He almost commits murder and does not get a fair trial, in which the extenuating circumstances would be heard; instead he gets a summary judgment and a punishment that is not appropriate to the crime and has no end date.

He decides that, logically, if they disregard their own rules, he can, too. And so he does. He becomes an excellent criminal, while continuing to do the work he still can. (He's not allowed in space, so he can't work on spaceships. But he can still work on classic cars.)

And that's how I get Spock to the place where he meets Jim Tiberius, an agent whose interest in classic cars and lengthy juvenile record provide the perfect in with and cover for working with Spock, the suspected (but uncatchable) criminal mastermind.

Uhura, in this version, is someone who is still brilliant with programming, languages, and machines. She wanted to go to Starfleet Academy, and lost her place to someone who had more political clout. She initially did some custom programming work for Spock, but when he turned criminal, she did, too.
(no subject) - leyna55 on March 16th, 2011 07:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on March 17th, 2011 02:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - leyna55 on March 17th, 2011 11:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - frostfire_17 on March 16th, 2011 02:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on March 17th, 2011 02:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on March 17th, 2011 02:15 am (UTC) (Expand)
inappropriately bibliophilic: don't call me xiaojieraucousraven on March 16th, 2011 08:24 am (UTC)
I love these rec posts so, so much. The news from Japan is so heartbreaking -- it's just good to have some crossover levity and awesomeness in the mix too. Thank you.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV flowersthefourthvine on March 17th, 2011 02:18 am (UTC)
I'm glad I could bring a little levity to your day. I think we all need that right now. I, at least, can only take being sad and unable to help anyone for so long. *hugs*
Very inconvenient, as now I have no shaving-glassdzurlady on March 16th, 2011 09:07 am (UTC)
TFV! There is a bookmarklet that allows you to roll webpages up a la Katamari Damacy! Sadly it does not seem to work on DW but it works on lj.

It was done by Alex Leone, David Nufer, and David Truong. Apparently it was the winner of the 2011 Yahoo HackU contest at University of Washington.

*rolls up page*
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV Katamari Damacythefourthvine on March 17th, 2011 02:22 am (UTC)
OMG that is AWESOME.
Taz: spnpretty!tazical on March 16th, 2011 11:07 am (UTC)
Now I really want an angel noir detective story. Please tell me there's a piece of fan fiction that meets my needs.

Oh, my friend. Welcome to one of the greatest wants of my life. Sadly, I've been unable so far to threaten anyone into writing the giant sprawling Dean/Castiel noir AU that I keep bullying people for, but there's always aesc's noir-art tag?

Also, with ref to the upthread Community comment, I totally agree with starting halfway through season 1. I mean, they're all good but I seem to recall that 1x7, 1x17 and 1x23 were the official points when I lost my heart to this ridiculous show.

Also, also, ref upthread, if you don't get sorted out for Castiel recs, hit me up :D
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV lettersthefourthvine on March 17th, 2011 02:25 am (UTC)
Art is good, but I need a STORY, too!

And consider this me hitting you up for recs. REC ME, BABY.
(no subject) - tazical on March 25th, 2011 10:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
Vonnie: Community: Troy's crying brainvonniek on March 16th, 2011 11:58 am (UTC)
I will be the voice of dissent and recommend you and the Best Beloved watch Community from the beginning. It does take them a few episodes to find the right tone but there is plenty of hilarity in the first few episodes, plus you get some some great character backstories earlier on. Like the Abed-centric 1x03, plus 1x06, "Football, Feminism and You", which is one of favourites and is an excellent ep about Troy. Oh, and introduction to the Senor Chang in 1x02!
The sanest lunatic you've ever met: community: thumbs up troysdwolfpup on March 16th, 2011 04:31 pm (UTC)
I second this comment in its entirety!
(no subject) - unusualdemoness on March 17th, 2011 02:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on March 17th, 2011 02:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
mireillemyr_soleil on March 16th, 2011 12:33 pm (UTC)
You should use this sort-of different auction to ask for your fanart! It's like half-yuletide half-help_japan, in that you make a request with the amount of money you're willing to donate, and people can claim it. Which basically means that I'm paying people to write me my dream fics while helping other people! It is the best.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV shoesthefourthvine on March 17th, 2011 02:29 am (UTC)
I considered it, but I am so weird about art it seems like maybe a bad idea. Fortunately, I believe I've recruited people via this very post! And I am totally donating to Japan anyway, of course.
witch of heartquantum_witch on March 16th, 2011 08:35 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you so much for your kind words about my comic "Our Angels Are Different"! :D :D Considering everything else you seem to enjoy, I cannot recommend Supernatural highly enough. Castiel is one of the more interesting examples of angelhood I've encountered.

And since you're looking for angel noir detective stories... Here you go. Within the very same holiday exchange, no less :)
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV umbrellathefourthvine on March 17th, 2011 02:31 am (UTC)
AUGH I FORGOT TO PUT YOUR NAME IN. I always manage to forget something, and this time I forgot YOU! I am so sorry. I've put your name in now, though.

And thank you for the rec! *off to read*
khaleesiankhaleesian on March 16th, 2011 09:00 pm (UTC)
Is it wrong to want someone to draw Reboot Spock, Kirk, and Uhura as Dom, Brian, and Letty from the Fast and the Furious? ....I would comment, but my head just overflowed with all the awesome. It's leaking out of my ears now and it tickles.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV bluethefourthvine on March 17th, 2011 02:33 am (UTC)
I tell you, think about that image long enough and you will ascend to a higher plane of being.

*offers you a tissue, for leaking awesome*