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18 February 2012 @ 11:00 am
Days of Love 5  
Annnnnnd it's another pair of recs. I can't help myself. But, okay, here's the thing. For reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, I have a strong interest in soulbonding right now. I admit that for a few weeks of the specific soulbonding project of doom, I spent a lot of time reading soulbond stories and saying, "That's not how it works." Because, you know, this is fandom, where I will fight for my right to be incredibly dogmatic and dictatorial about a completely imaginary concept.

But then I started actively seeking out all the different depictions of soulbonding in fan fiction, trying to figure out what the key elements of a soulbond are. (Yes, I have a list. It is a short list. Soulbonds are mysterious and mutable, is what they are.) And I found some fantastic stories in the process.

#BOOM!, by 26miledrive. Hockey RPF, Ryan Kesler/Andrew Ladd. (Helpful pairing primer featuring everything you need know to read this story. Although to be honest you don't even need to know who the guys are.)

Okay, so, first, I just need to say that this hockey thing has gotten out of hand. I know this because of two interactions with Best Beloved.

Scene 1: I am watching old hockey videos on YouTube, which I suspect is just about the worst way there is to watch hockey, but, whatever, it's what I can do. I am absolutely not yelling at the screen, no matter what BB says. BB is taking a bath.

BB, from bathtub: *laughter*
Me, assuming her book is amusing: What's funny?
BB: You. What happened?
BB: *further laughter*
Me: It was! They are!
BB: I just can't believe you have opinions about this.
Me, sulkily: That isn't an opinion. It's a fact, and everyone knows it.1
BB: *laughs hard enough to displace a significant amount of water*

1 Yes, I said this even though I did not know it until very recently, and had to be taught by J. (Name redacted to protect the relatively innocent.) Thanks, J!

Scene 2: Dinner. I am breathlessly relating some hockey facts I have learned.

BB: Is the hockey season on right now?
Me: Yes! Of course!
BB: When does it end?
Me: Regular season ends in April. Why?
BB: Find out if there's tickets. Or whatever.
Me: But why?
BB: I can sense it coming. You're going to want to go to one. You might as well be prepared.
Me: Don't be ridiculous. I'm not going to a hockey game.

[Some days pass.]

BB: You want to go to a hockey game, don't you?
Me: ...Yeah, I kind of do.
BB: *does not say anything, but radiates smugness from every pore*

My point is, there has to be an end to this, and quickly, before I end up at a hockey game with no idea what is going on. (Keep in mind that I do not do well in crowds, do not like loud noises, do not process visual information all that splendidly, and have no idea what attending a hockey game might be like. I am basically the last person who should ever go to a hockey game. With luck I'll be able to hold out until April. If not - has anyone out there ever been to one? Any tips?)

But it isn't my fault I'm like this! Hockey fandom is just so great, is all, and this story - yes, we're back to the story now - is proof. Because, okay, I suspect that hockey doesn't actually, in real actual fact, have evil fairy godmothers nicknamed Biz Nasty. (Seriously. The man tweets as BizNasty2point0. On the one hand - if you were nicknamed Biz Nasty, wouldn't you try to pretend you didn't know? On the other hand, man, I wish every evil fairy ever invited to a christening was named Biz Nasty. That right there would improve most fairy tales by at least 50%.) And I also suspect that Mr. Nasty can't actually forcibly soulbond people to make them work out their differences. (Through hatesex. I mean. How else are you going to work out your differences? It's hockey.)

But, oh, it's so much fun to imagine a world where hockey does, and he can. And this story is where that happens. It's the comedy of the soulbonding world, filled with bad behavior in Vegas and poorly-chosen helicopter tours and some really, really questionable decisions made by your friend and mine, Bad Fairy Biz Nasty.

Read it for the giggles, my friends. Read it for the giggles.

Apres moi le deluge, by [archiveofourown.org profile] beyond_belief. Generation Kill, Brad Colbert/Nate Fick.

And then, when you're done laughing, read this one for the quiet beauty and totally fascinating soulbond. (Sorry. I am basically the world's foremost soulbond scientist at this point. I cannot help categorizing these things; it is just my way. Look for my upcoming monograph, The Unbroken Thread: A Taxonomy of Soulbonds and Related Fantastical Connections, available wherever really boring books are sold.)

I love this one because - okay, if you're going to give two people a soulbond, hockey players who play for different teams and hate each other are actually a better choice than Nate and Brad. Usually, in fan fiction, we're writing about soulbonds between two people who spend, like, 18 hours a day together. (Oh, god, I just thought of a key and important question: Did anyone ever write a soulbond story in Sentinel fandom? I mean, they must have, right? Except it would actually be sort of pointless since it's basically canon. Still. If it's out there, I need to read it. I can't believe I never have.) Nate is off in Harvard, engaging in serious study and working to Make Our Nation Better! Brad is off in England, trying to drown Royal Marines! They have lives, is my point.

(And, yes, I did actually have a really long digression here about the worst fannish characters to have in a soulbond. I deleted it for the good of the recommendation, and I want you to know it was very hard to do. But if you have any opinions, feel free to weigh in. I mean, Methos? Buffy? Mycroft? So many possibilities!)

But in this story, in addition to lives, they also have a soulbond, and it's fabulous. I love how they fight it, how they learn to adapt to it, how they learn to deal with each other. And mostly I just love this story. I keep re-reading it, because it's one of those ones I just never feel finished with, you know? I'll be wandering around picking up toys and trying to persuade the child that there is a limit on the number of muffins we can make in one day, and suddenly I'll realize I need to go read that story. Again. And then I will spend the rest of the day thinking about the story while I pick up toys and make muffins.

Really, my only complaint here is that I want at least 50,000 more words of this. At least.

Also posted at Dreamwidth, where there are comment count unavailable comments.
Erika Sanely: Sharks ruleerika_sanely on February 18th, 2012 07:37 pm (UTC)
On attending a hockey game: When I did my first holiday to the US, one of my goals was to attend a sport that you would have trouble seeing in Australia, and so I ended up with tickets to see a hockey game. My entire knowledge of ice hockey game from watching The Mighty Ducks and a Rob Lowe-Patrick Swayze movie from the 80's.

It was brilliant!

I pretty much went by the rule of: whatever the majority of the crowd was doing, I would do. I was cheering, and yelling at the ref, and really fitting right in like I"d been going my whole life. The only glitch was when the guy sitting next to me missed a play, and I was booing (so was everyone else). He asked me what happened, and I had to admit that I had absolutely no idea. Luckily, I had the accent to pull it off.)

Long story short: work out who the majority of the crowd is going for and that's your team for the night. You'll love it.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV bluethefourthvine on February 19th, 2012 06:50 am (UTC)
a Rob Lowe-Patrick Swayze movie from the 80's

This is a massive tangent, but - please tell me you've seen the Festivd for that movie. SO GREAT. I had no idea the movie EXISTED until I saw it.

Long story short: work out who the majority of the crowd is going for and that's your team for the night. You'll love it.

This is great advice! Thank you.
Domenika Marzionemiss_porcupine on February 18th, 2012 07:50 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure I'm ready to read hockey RPF (I've got a past life writing about those people for money), but your version of the NHL is pretty hilarious. And totally accurate -- now we just need you to start bitching about the Philadelphia Flyers' incarnate evil and you're all set.

(I am, however, already bracing myself for when the ladies of NHL RPF realize just how much my hockey team already slashes itself. Fandom had to come up with scenes of Blackhawks players napping naked and helping each other dress; my team does it on its own and in front of HBO cameras....)

Before you seriously consider approaching the Staples Center to see the Kings (or BB makes arrangements for you), I recommend (a) go here and (b) learn all about Dustin Penner hurting himself eating pancakes so you know to bring a bottle of Aunt Jemima first.

Edited at 2012-02-18 07:52 pm (UTC)
Six Shirts McWeirderson: Sports - hockey Kane/Toews Cupjust_katarin on February 18th, 2012 09:20 pm (UTC)
Most teams seem to have a couple of roommates that just prefer to sleep naked. One of the more delightful things about watching 24/7 was the fact that it really drove home that every team has a couple roommate situations where everyone is just randomly naked. It reminded me of those great BHTV 'Pick on a Teammate' segments where for some reason Tazer and Kaner were in a locked bathroom together and Tazer never wore a shirt. Somehow, it's comforting to know that Seabs and Sharpy's weird hotel room wrestling matches are more along the norm among NHLers.

Obviously, the ACTUAL most delightful thing about 24/7 was every scene Bryz was in. &Russians; &Goalies; &RussianGoalies;

Aside from laughing herself sick over Pancakes Penner (legit, I haven't called him anything but Pancakes since the incident happened), I'd actually suggest putting out the extra scratch for 100 level tickets if she's going to the Staples Center. It's a pretty nice venue for hockey and the 100 level generally has a TON more room. Like, I couldn't believe how much more space I had to myself when I was down there. I had tickets about six up from ice-level, right next to where the home team enters and exits the ice and I felt like I could have put a barcalounger in place of my seat. SUPER spacious and if you really don't like being too close to people, I'd recommend it!

I love watching hockey live, but if you really don't want to be near people or whatever, it might not be for you and that's okay!
(no subject) - shihadchick on February 18th, 2012 10:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on February 19th, 2012 06:52 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - contrariangie on February 19th, 2012 08:28 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - shoemaster on February 19th, 2012 03:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - contrariangie on February 19th, 2012 08:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - miss_porcupine on February 19th, 2012 03:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
feochadnfeochadn on February 18th, 2012 07:56 pm (UTC)
RYAN KESLER! YAHHH! Sorry, longtime Canucks fan here (since a very small child, actually: went to my first Canucks game in 1972). Although Alexandre Burrows is my favorite: seriously, is this a face to love, or what? --> http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iDVV493Sgz4/TeuhURmX9jI/AAAAAAAAFo0/v0rMUxObqEM/s1600/apr709_practice12_b.jpg.
Yes, the Bruins are thugs, I suffered through the entirety of last years Stanley Cup finals . And made my friends suffer through, too. Seriously thugs, grr.
I've been following your hockey posts with much amusement (it never occurred to me as a fandom!) and enjoyment. You've changed my worldview.
I pretty much grew up attending hockey games, and you're right, that's alot of the things you hate/don't deal well with. That being said, you might have the best luck if you go to a weekday game and sit near the top of the arena (don't be down by the glass) -- it's usually a little calmer up there and not as crowded/loud.
feochadnfeochadn on February 18th, 2012 08:16 pm (UTC)
Oh, heh, let me know if you see any Kesler/Burrows fic, please? Pretty please?
I'm so going to hell.
(no subject) - thefourthvine on February 19th, 2012 06:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
Rogaroga on February 18th, 2012 08:06 pm (UTC)
...you're going to make me read hockey rpf, aren't you :( this is how it starts :(
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV flowersthefourthvine on February 19th, 2012 06:54 am (UTC)
Yes. Yes, I am going to do my damnedest to get you to read hockey RPF. It would save us both a lot of trouble if you just caved now, don't you think?
keerawakeerawa on February 18th, 2012 08:18 pm (UTC)
I've only been to one hockey game. As someone with perceptual differences from the norm, let me share with you that it was very loud at odd intervals, smelled like beer and was (OK, this shouldn't have surprised me, but it DID) very very cold.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV glowythefourthvine on February 19th, 2012 06:55 am (UTC)
Cold is good news for me! Except for the part where I live in Southern California, so I will have to dig out my jacket from wherever it is hiding.
shoemaster on February 18th, 2012 09:10 pm (UTC)
the nice thing about hockey is even the nosebleed seats are good to watch a game from, because you can see the whole ice surface!
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV Katamari Damacythefourthvine on February 19th, 2012 06:56 am (UTC)
...Is there, like, a hockey primer? I mean, just, you know - I have learned a LOT of shit in the past few weeks, and yet I feel like I'm missing some of the basics. (Although I have learned about icing! And offsides! And shifts! For me, this is really already a LOT more than I know about most of the fandoms I love.)
(no subject) - shoemaster on February 19th, 2012 03:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - shoemaster on February 19th, 2012 05:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
we'll make it up as we go alongherwhereabouts on February 18th, 2012 09:15 pm (UTC)
GO TO A GAME SERIOUSLY. You won't regret it! It is so much fun. And, honestly... Once you fall into hockey fandom there is just no getting out. It's, like, a fact.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV lettersthefourthvine on February 19th, 2012 06:57 am (UTC)
Don't you think the stories should have warnings about the brain-taking-over part? I feel like someone should have SAID SOMETHING. Ideally doctor_denmark, since it was her story that did this to me.
color is the new danger: french-canadians in lovemmeguilotn on February 18th, 2012 09:17 pm (UTC)
The Bruins are the thuggiest. Unfortunately, they're really good at using it to their advantage.

The Flyers are great though, don't listen to the Rangers fans. Briere/Giroux forever!
Davey: Where I'm from-mine [carolinecrane]ruggerdavey on February 18th, 2012 09:40 pm (UTC)
The Bruins are the awesome-est.

No, I'm not from New England at all. Honest. *grins*
(no subject) - mmeguilotn on February 18th, 2012 09:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on February 19th, 2012 06:58 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - mmeguilotn on February 20th, 2012 05:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
the only blowup doll bobblehead on the internetimpertinence on February 18th, 2012 09:23 pm (UTC)
If you decide to go despite crowd issues (which are totally understandable, arenas are loud and have a TON of people), I'd totally suggest shelling out for 100-level tickets your first time. If you're not sure about crowds, too, you could find an AHL or ECHL game to start out! That's way fewer people/less noise, and tickets are cheaper too.

also, I LOVE the fic you recced. Oh Kesler.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV shoesthefourthvine on February 19th, 2012 06:59 am (UTC)
AHL is waaaay out, and ECHL is not close, either. But I found a teeny junior team at my nephew's skating arena! And I am - probably going to go to a game.

Why? Why is this HAPPENING TO ME?
Six Shirts McWeirderson: Sports - hockey PK Skinnerjust_katarin on February 18th, 2012 09:39 pm (UTC)

He's a 4th liner for the Coyotes who's super well known for having the world's best twitter. Like, in a sport that hates personality, Biz Nasty gets away with it because he is literally one of the least important people on the ice at any given time. Dude has 9 points in his entire NHL career, so he can get away with actually having a personality. It's amazing. He can often cross a line on twitter between crass and gross, but he seems to also be a fairly decent dude. For instance, he's constantly reserving tickets to games for homeless families wherever the Coyotes are playing and he's super passionate about all fans, everywhere.

Blahblahblah, I just have a lot of feelings about Biz Nasty being hilarious ALWAYS.

Also, I mentioned it above, but if Staples is the arena you're going to, definitely spend the extra for 100 level tickets, because space. You're not nearly as close to others and if it's a weekday game, you might even have a couple empty seats around you!
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV umbrellathefourthvine on February 19th, 2012 07:00 am (UTC)
Okay, I just need to ask: Are we 100% sure Paul Bissonette ISN'T a bad fairy? HAVE PEOPLE SEARCHED HIM FOR GLITTER?

Because he sounds like a bad fairy. A really amusing one. And getting away with having personality in the NHL sounds like a magic trick. So. You know. QED?
[expletive] selfish [expletive]: [hockey] tiny kitten Bobriadsala on February 18th, 2012 09:50 pm (UTC)
Going to a live hockey game is the best way, imo, to get a handle on how the game works, when you can see the whole ice at once and not what just the camera angles on tv. OTOH, it is loud and full of people, so I do agree that the 100 level is generally less rowdy and has more room.

My favorite thing about BizNasty is that it seems totally in character that he could be an evil fairy godmother in real life, too. A well-casted part, in a charming fic!
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV bluethefourthvine on February 19th, 2012 07:01 am (UTC)
I am totally shelling out for better seats. When I go. Which - I guess I am going to go? *hides*

(Deleted comment)
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV brownthefourthvine on February 19th, 2012 07:02 am (UTC)
Yes! Thank you! I found it when I went to confirm the author's name for the rec, and I had to read it RIGHT THEN, as I am sure you will understand.

And you can totally have the muffins I made with the kid this morning. But be warned: We have nicknamed them the Disappointing Muffins.
proleptic_fancyproleptic_fancy on February 18th, 2012 11:40 pm (UTC)
Hockey games are really fun! I don't understand the rules, but it's usually pretty easy to tell what's going on if you're seated high enough to see all the ice.

I tend to stick with smaller/more local sporting events and avoid the student sections since I can't deal with the crowds at anything bigger than a community college football game. Is there a local or college team nearby you could go see to get an idea of what the experience is like?
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV dogtagsthefourthvine on February 19th, 2012 07:02 am (UTC)
It turns out yes! And the college team is all done with games for the year, but there's a junior team I can see! WOOOOO. And then - oh god, I will probably go see some Kings or Ducks or something. WHY GOD WHY.
suchthefangirlsuchthefangirl on February 19th, 2012 12:51 am (UTC)
I'm wondering if you've seen the movie Breakfast with Scot? Every time I read you talking about hockey, I think of it. It's become one of my families favorite movies and I highly recommend it. It's CANON GAY HOCKEY PLAYER. What could be better. And it's a delightful Christmas movie about kids and abuse and sexuality and being public and accepting people for who they are and HOCKEY! It's kinda awesome.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV flowersthefourthvine on February 19th, 2012 07:03 am (UTC)
I haven't! But I have read the book, and I remember liking it. I am much, much more likely to have read the book than seen the movie. I just do better with the written word. But if the movie's that good - hmmm.

*ponder ponder*
(no subject) - suchthefangirl on February 19th, 2012 10:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
calligrafiti on February 19th, 2012 01:10 am (UTC)
I went to a hockey game once, and I had a good time. (My crowd issues were not as pronounced then.) I was lucky enough to have a friend who did write ups on minor league hockey games for a paper back in the 90s, and he explained what was going on for me. If you can go to one of the minor league games, they're usually in a smaller venue (thus, smaller crowds) and a lot cheaper.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV glowythefourthvine on February 19th, 2012 07:04 am (UTC)
I totally need to find someone who understands this game. TOTALLY.