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16 April 2013 @ 11:56 am
[Earthling] Pigeon Petition  
The earthling is four, and he's loved the Pigeon for half his life. This is an enduring love, is what I'm saying. And during all that time, he's believed that Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus is a basically unfair book. The Pigeon should get to drive the bus, is his feeling. It's not like there are any good reasons why not, beyond what a bus driver who didn't even stick around to drive his own bus wants.

But recently we bought the earthling the Pigeon app, and that has taken his Pigeon-bus anguish to new heights. You can change a lot of things about the story in the app, but you can't change the one thing the earthling desperately wants to. No matter what, you have to keep telling the Pigeon no.

I can only conclude that this strikes the earthling as terribly, fundamentally wrong. He's complained to us. He's protested to the app. Every time he plays the app, he gets his stuffed Pigeon out and lets him drive all the cars and trucks he owns, carefully playing through his ideal scenario, which goes like this:

"Can I drive the car transporter?" Pigeon says.

"Yes, you can. I'll help you."

"I'm so happy! This is the best day ever. I'm driving the car transporter!" Pigeon says.

This is an actual transcription, word-for-word, of one of his recent rounds of Pigeon Gets to Drive the Things. (Including the dialogue tags, because the earthling knows you have to specify who's talking.)

So it was against this background of extreme concern over rampant Pigeon-related injustice that I uttered the word "petition" to the earthling yesterday.

"What's petition?" he asked.

I tried to explain. "A petition is a letter you write to someone, asking for something you think should happen. And you sign it, and other people who agree with you sign it, and it's a way of showing that lots of people feel this way."

"Oh," he said, thinking. "Can we write a petition?"

"You have to have a thing you want to happen," I told him. "Like better lunches at school."

"Or the Pigeon to drive the bus?" he asked. I agreed that that is a thing you could write a petition about. "Let's do that," he said.

"But you need a reason," I said. "A good reason why the Pigeon should drive the bus."

"It will make him happy," he said. He thought some more. "He keeps asking and no one ever says yes. You have to say no even if you want yes."

"Any more?" I asked.

He thought some more. "It makes me sad to see him always get said no," he told me.

"You mean you'd rather see him get what he's dreamed of and worked for?" I asked, interpreting some.

"YES," the earthling said.

Those are perfectly good reasons, in my opinion. So, yeah, I made a petition for the earthling. And I'm asking you to sign it. Tell your friends, tell your family: we want the Pigeon to ride the bus. He's been asking for ten years and no one has EVER said yes. It's time to figure out how to make it happen.

Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!

Also posted at Dreamwidth, where there are comment count unavailable comments.
Cats. Not to be trusted.: pigeon finecatwalksalone on April 16th, 2013 07:11 pm (UTC)
As someone who made a whole bunch of people yell, "NO!" at Pigeon substitute Ray Kowalski, I am torn! Pigeons should not drive buses and Kowalskis should not interview perps! BUT. Earthling makes a good case, so.


(He can't stay up late, though.)

ETA: Did this from the UK, so it's doable from outside the US.

Edited at 2013-04-16 07:12 pm (UTC)
tried to eat the safe banana: Earthling black and whitethefourthvine on April 16th, 2013 07:17 pm (UTC)
Yay, thank you!

(And the earthling doesn't want the Pigeon to stay up late, bizarrely. Just to drive the bus.)
snake eyes and deja vusorchasilver on April 16th, 2013 07:17 pm (UTC)
Signed from the UK!
ngaio on April 16th, 2013 08:11 pm (UTC)
I cannot sign (due to being British) but have promoted on Twitter and Tumblr in order to help the Earthling and Pigeon.
ravurian: insufferable british snobravurian on April 16th, 2013 08:41 pm (UTC)
Psst. It is perfectly possible to affect change in America while being British. You just need to sign up for an account - they don't ask to which People you belong. (Plus there's something deliciously insidious about being an undercover Brit).

Edited at 2013-04-16 08:42 pm (UTC)
ngaio on April 17th, 2013 05:55 pm (UTC)
I did not know that. Thank you.
Mal: mckay finger by queenshroommalnpudl on April 16th, 2013 08:12 pm (UTC)
This is a cause I can get behind!
MoonPuppy: redequalequalitymoonpupy on April 16th, 2013 08:48 pm (UTC)
Petition signed and word spread.
the pirate queen of norway: blodeuwedd ginnyashkitty on April 16th, 2013 09:13 pm (UTC)
Signed and Facebook-pimped, despite having only the vaguest idea (and that from your posts) who or what Pigeon even is. ;)
Rob1: eyeforked on April 16th, 2013 09:31 pm (UTC)
Ahaha- I love you tagged the petition with 'Transportation and Infrastructure'!

Poor pigeon- of course he should be able to drive the bus!
Sylvia: Gasp!rheasilvia on April 16th, 2013 09:37 pm (UTC)
That is one of the best petitions I have ever seen. I would sign it in a heartbeat if I were a US citizen. :-)

You know Due South, right? Do you know the brilliant Don't Let Kowalski Interview the Perp by catwalksalone?

(I don't actually know the Pigeon book - I'm not from the US - but I have second-hand affection for it through the Kowalski fanfic crossover verson. *g*)
counteragentcounteragent on April 17th, 2013 12:08 am (UTC)
Aw, sad. They took it down. I support this petition.
lynnzolynnzo on April 17th, 2013 01:19 am (UTC)
Cutest post EVER. If it were still up, I'd totally sign the petition.
Stefmorningapproach on April 17th, 2013 02:20 am (UTC)

I want to sign, but im not american :( perhaps put it up on change.org?

SpinFrogspinfrog on April 17th, 2013 03:42 am (UTC)
They took it down, because maybe that wasn't the right place? I don't think the federal government is in charge of these things? Perhaps a kickstarter project would be a better way to go? To create / publish a new and improved version of the book?
spiffikinsspiffikins on April 17th, 2013 04:40 am (UTC)
Apparently there is a board game - one would think that you could change the rules, and let the darn pigeon drive the bus if you wanted to?


spiffikinsspiffikins on April 17th, 2013 05:03 am (UTC)
In vino veritasgirly_curl_3 on April 17th, 2013 04:45 am (UTC)
Aww, sweet Earthling. My little Monkey, who recently turned 4, has just discovered the Pigeon books. He does not feel the same injustice about the Pigeon not getting to drive the bus. In fact, he quite gleefully loves to shout "NO!" at all the appropriate moments.

He likes the shouting so much that we have invented new things to shout NO at, like Don't Let Daddy Put on His Shoes. (Even if Daddy promises $5 or to be your best friend.) Monkey also loves the hot dog book and the Duckling Gets a Cookie.

I think, though, his favorite part of any of these books is the fact he gets to shout at them even if it's bedtime.
celliacellia on April 17th, 2013 06:24 am (UTC)
Aw! I wish my parents had thought of this when I couldn't understand why the rabbit wasn't allowed to have Trix!
Loriel Eris: laurel leafloriel_eris on April 17th, 2013 08:09 pm (UTC)
I have never in my life heard of this Pigeon 'person'. However, because you made me laugh, and the Earthling is such an all round awesome human being, I'll sign the petition.

ETA: Woe! I should have read the comments first.

Edited at 2013-04-17 08:11 pm (UTC)
arglefrasterarglefraster on April 19th, 2013 05:48 pm (UTC)
My son just turned 4 in March, and he's been a BIG fan of 'Don't Let the Pigeon Finish This Activity Book!' - inside it you get to write your own picture book, and let the pigeon do something! Highly recommended.

Edited at 2013-04-19 05:48 pm (UTC)