tried to eat the safe banana (thefourthvine) wrote,
tried to eat the safe banana

Yuletide 2013 Dear Author Letter

Dear Author Person,

We matched! So basically know that I am extremely fond of you already, because clearly you are a person of taste and discernment, loving one of these small fandoms as much as I do.

I am, as always, going to provide you with all the details, because that's what I hope to get from my recipient. But if that's not you, please tap out of this letter now. Just know that I really, really cannot handle child or animal harm or death, and I love you for volunteering for one of my tiny fandoms. See you on the 25th!


I love so many things, Yuletide author. Here is a small sample:
  • Happy endings. (Um, I mean of the happily ever after kind. Although I am also a big fan of orgasms, not gonna lie.)
  • Humor.
  • Stories that earn their payoff.
  • Slow build romances and slow build sex scenes.
  • Action and adventure.
  • Snappy dialogue.
  • Classic fan fiction tropes.
Sadly, I also have some squicks:
  • Animal and child harm or death. These are my deal-breaker squicks; I can't handle them at all.
  • Embarrassment and humiliation.
  • Misogyny, sexism, the abuse of women.
  • Racism.
  • Incest.
  • Sex involving children (by which I mean people under 13ish) in any way).
So that's the general stuff. Let's talk fandoms.

Baseball RPF - Jose Fernandez, Yasiel Puig

Request: Oh god I just want to smoosh these guys together. Please smoosh them together.

I love how neatly they've subverted the Rookie of the Year rivalry narrative, I love how adorable they are separately and together, and I love how much they mean to their communities. I'd love to see them paired up, whether in the present or the future; I'd also love to read something about what they mean to the Cuban-American community, or about how they interact away from the diamond, the media, and the fans.

I'm a sucker for tropes and happy endings, and these guys seem perfect for both of those. However, I'm mostly interested in them as baseball players, so while AUs are great, I'd prefer it to be the kind where they still play.

I've spent this season slowly being suckered into following baseball, basically against my will, and these guys are like 75% of the reason. (Well, no, [ profile] breakeveryclock is 75% of the reason. These guys were the tools she used to break me, though.) I just really love them.

I love Fernandez's entire life, basically, from his relationship with his family (He loves his grandma! He posts pictures of himself with his adorable baby sister! He took his mom to the All-Star Game!) to his giant grin to his entire history. (Dude didn't just defect from Cuba. He did it four times. He went to jail for it. He had to jump in the ocean to save his mother. And he still said his first six months in the US were worse than all of that.) And I love his attitude.

And attitude, of course, takes us to Yasiel Puig. I am fascinated by Puig, who has attracted a bucketload of criticism despite his gorgeous (if risky) play and his cautious media behavior. I love that he is determined to be who he is, and I'd love it if a story showed me just who that is; his public persona is, to me, pretty occluded by all the media crap.

Most of all, I love how neatly these guys subverted the media narrative about their rivalry. The media was all - good boy Fernandez! Bad boy Puig! WHO WILL WIN? And meanwhile Fernandez and Puig were hugging each other and talking excitedly and becoming buddies. I think it's pretty obvious why I ship the hell out of it. And ship it I do. But if slash isn't your thing, I'd also be happy with gen.

Basketball RPF - Earvin "Magic" Johnson, Larry Bird

Request: Magic Johnson and Larry Bird soulbonded at the NCAA Championship in 1979. That is CANON. So what I want to know is - where did it go from there? What happened? How does that work, when you're playing against each other, when at least one of you is clearly fighting the bond, when you're such incredibly different human beings? There are lots of interesting possibilities here - Larry fighting the bond, the way it affected them and their game, how it drove them to play. Or there's Magic's HIV diagnosis and how they dealt with that. Or there's the question of dealing with marriage (to other people) and being soulbonded. Or you could talk about how they finally accepted the soulbond and what it's like now, being comfortable with it and each other, years after the fighting and the struggle finally ended. Just, anything. (And in case you're panicking: it doesn't have to be about a literal soulbond. They have SOME kind of bond, that much is clear; if you don't see it as a soulbond, go with whatever you do see it as.)

I'm good with gen (just because you have a soulbond doesn't mean you have to have sex), slash, and poly. Just please do not erase their wives, particularly the amazing Cookie Johnson, or do straight-up infidelity. There's always gen, or setting the sex before the marriage, or spousal knowledge and consent (my favorite!), or spousal involvement. Or something else you come up with! LET THE MAGIC (hee!) OF BIRD AND JOHNSON GUIDE YOU, basically.

Okay, I am a trifle concerned that my request makes me sound like a delusional tinhat loon. No! No! I am merely reporting the truth, which is that Magic Johnson and Larry Bird have a real-life soulbond!

...That didn't help my case. But I have solid evidence. Behold, the amazing documentary A Courtship of Rivals:

(You only need to watch the first ten minutes to see the literal discussion of the soulbond. And, if you're curious, here's the hysterical-in-every-sense-of-the-word breakdown I had the first time I watched it.)

This could not be clearer. These guys are bonded. And I just find that fascinating. You could not have two more different guys (unless, like, one of them was a Vulcan - SHUSH NO WRONG FANDOM). You could not have a more intense rivalry. And yet it's abundantly clear they have a ton of respect for each other, a ton of very genuine love for each other, and they know each other so well - every appearance I've ever seen them in has just been so great for that. (I have a boatload of links that I am not putting here for reasons of dignity. Anyone who wants to see them, though, is welcome to comment, anon or otherwise. I AM HERE FOR ANYONE WHO IS INTERESTED IN MAGIC AND LARRY.)

Basically, I adore these guys. And I am riveted by their relationship. Anything you write about them navigating that relationship while being their extremely awesome selves will be wonderful for me.


Request: OH MY GOD WORLD-BUILDING PLEASE WORLD-BUILDING. Tell me more about this gorgeous, wonderful world. Beyond that, write about whatever you want - the kids who have had the camera in the past or who will have it in the future, or the kid who has it in the book. Write about the undersea world the camera documents - what are those octopuses up to? Who built the clockwork fish? Who lives on the back of the turtle? Where did those aliens come from, and what are the seahorses doing? Basically there's no page where you can't find questions I'd love to see answered. Or you could write about who made the camera and how this all got started. I genuinely don't care; I just want to see this world expanded, because I'm utterly entranced by it.

I'm pretty sure we didn't match on this, since as of this writing no one has offered it. But if you're looking to jump ship on another request, or just looking for a gorgeous, fascinating children's book, this would be an excellent thing to explore! It's a wordless picture book about a kid who finds a camera filled with pictures of really fascinating undersea life. And it is amazing. It's in print, so there's no trouble finding it.

Here are some sample pages, just to whet your appetite: seahorses and aliens, clockwork fish.

And if you do decide to write it - I wasn't kidding. Anything to do with this world and world-building and I will be thrilled.

Want You Bad (song) - Narrator, Narrator's girlfriend

Request: Okay, so I think we can agree no one signed up for this song expecting to write gen (although if you did, wow, just write whatever you had in mind, because you are clearly extremely creative and I want to read your vision). Basically, what I see here is a dude who needs to learn an important lesson about the difference between the surface and the interior. He's conflating how his girlfriend dresses with how kinky she is, and he thinks that how she acts out in the world is a reflection of how she will be in the bedroom. Which is obviously bullshit, and I want him to learn that.

Or, to put it more succinctly: I want him to learn that she can dominate the fuck out of him and give him all the kink he yearns for while still looking and living exactly how she wants to, highlights and niceness and all. And if he'd rather she looked to the world the way she looks to him? Well, he's going to want a lot of things he doesn't get to have. But he's going to be happy with what she gives him.

Again, at this point no one has offered this, but if you're looking for another prompt and gen about undersea mysteries isn't your thing, may I offer you het kink instead? Here's the song (ignore the video):

Annnnd I think that the request says it all. Our hero is confused. He needs to learn the difference between a book and its cover. Or, in this case, between how a woman chooses to look to the world and how a woman chooses to own her fucking partner in bed.

I'm guessing he will thoroughly enjoy learning this lesson, but possibly not as much as she'll enjoy teaching it.

Also posted at Dreamwidth, where there are comment count unavailable comments.
Tags: yuletide

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