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14 February 2015 @ 09:42 am
Happy Valentine's Day! Don't Be Me.  
It's Valentine's Day, so I would like to share a Cautionary Tale for the Youth of Today.

Once upon a time, my wife and I were teenaged college students who did not think before we got together, and by "got together," I mean "had sex for the first time," because did I mention we were teenagers in college? We did not bother with dating. So, you know, we let our passions overwhelm us, and didn't think before we had sex, and guess what happened? We checked the calendar the next day, noticed it was 2/15, and realized we had had sex for the first time on Valentine's Day.

Obviously this creates serious lifelong problems in terms of celebrating our anniversary. All because we were careless. Don't be like us.

"But TFV," I hear you saying. "You said she's your wife. Why not celebrate the anniversary of your marriage instead?"

Now, I could give you all kinds of excellent reasons, like that we couldn't get legally married until long after we were de facto married, because of governmental concern that allowing two people of the same sex to get married might cause a small black hole to form at the center of our planet and end the world. (Their caution is understandable considering the grave risks.) But that's not actually why. Let me tell you about our wedding.

We had a baby the year we got married, and also we are the least romantic people and least party-oriented people on earth, so we selected the "cheap courthouse wedding" option. We had a limited choice of dates, because we could only get married in the registrar's office on Fridays, and the election at which California voters would take away our civil rights was coming up fast. So we took the single reservation slot that was available when we got our marriage license.

On the day, we drove to the courthouse, met up with my mother, sister, brother-in-law (who had to be there to hold our baby), and oldest nephew, and had a five-minute civil ceremony conducted by a dude who finished with "and don't forget to file as married filing jointly on your state taxes next year." And then we left and the next couple and their friends and family came in.

And they were all in Viking costumes, because Best Beloved and I got married on 10/31. Our wedding anniversary is on Halloween.

What I'm saying is, youth of today, if there is a single message of wisdom I can share with you, it is check your fucking calendar before you fuck for the first time, and if it's a major holiday, wait. Otherwise you might end up like us, celebrating an anniversary that is not actually on any of the major dates of your relationship. (If you're really entirely like us, you will also never remember exactly what day you picked out to celebrate your pretend anniversary, but that's another story.)

Also posted at Dreamwidth, where there are comment count unavailable comments.
keerawakeerawa on February 14th, 2015 07:41 pm (UTC)
*falls over laughing*

My spouse and I have given up entirely on anniversaries. We just celebrate each other when we feel like it, and buy each other presents when we see something the other would like.
ride_4ever (or Ride_Forever: seen it both ways): Partnership & Marriageride_4ever on February 15th, 2015 11:30 am (UTC)
I think that's beautiful, keerawa.
joyce: kissingjoyce on February 14th, 2015 08:45 pm (UTC)
We did the legal deed the Friday of Memorial Day weekend, because that was when we could get her, me, and her girlfriend into the same place in a state that was close enough and had a short enough waiting period that we could get the license and get back there to get married at the end of the week. On the one hand: easily memorable. On the other, I still have to check a damn calendar because I can't remember the date.

(If we'd been patient, we could've gotten married here two months after the social wedding. But who knew that was going to happen?)
AynAtonal: laughaynatonal on February 14th, 2015 09:41 pm (UTC)
Ha! Boyfriend and I got together on Mardi Gras, so our anniversary date floats. Fortunately, I'm Jewish, so I'm used to that kind of thing.
...AND THE HOCKEY MEDIA IS THE SARLACC!shihadchick on February 15th, 2015 12:14 am (UTC)
...lololol, oh dear. &you guys;

Carla: Ada and pipe (lanning)beledibabe on February 15th, 2015 01:57 am (UTC)
Oh, how I adore you! ::twirls you all and kisses all three of you sloppily on the cheek::
ride_4ever (or Ride_Forever: seen it both ways): Partnership & Marriageride_4ever on February 15th, 2015 11:28 am (UTC)
This warning has come way too late for me and my SO, but it's a timely Valentine LOL.