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13 July 2004 @ 07:19 am
Slashy Nominations 64: Like the Best Wine, That Goeth Down Slowly  
(Note on the title of this entry: am I the only person continually surprised by the massive slashiness and sexiness of the Psalms and the Songs of Solomon? See, I didn't really have any exposure to The Bible in my youth - I mean, until fairly recently, I thought Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John were brothers - so it's coming as something of a surprise to me just how profoundly sexual certain parts of this book are. And that title? Direct biblical quote. Someone explain to me again that this is a religious document, because I think I'm missing the point.)

So. I was going to do an exceptionally gloomy entry on gen. I got it written and everything, and then I looked at it and realized it was depressing the hell out of me, and I was just writing the story summaries. I decided I couldn't, in good conscience, post something that grim. The gen entry is tabled until I can un-gloomy it a bit, and in the meantime, well...

When in danger, dark, or doubt, turn to that perennial source of buoyant joy: the drunkfic. Slash has made me a serious fan of drunkenness, albeit only on the part of fictional characters; now let it make a believer out of you.

Best FF That Dragged Me into a New Fandom, Slammed the Door Behind Me, Locked It, and Then Did Something Shockingly NC-17 with the Key: Djibouti, by Caroline Baker, aka linabean, and Fox, aka darthfox*. Sports Night, Danny Rydell/Casey McCall. This, folks, is a great story. And here's how I know it's a great story: I read this thing giggling like a maniac. And then it got to the sex part, and I was irritated. Me! The pervert! The big ol' fan of smut! Irritated because Danny and Casey were having sex, because I was afraid they'd stop with the hysterical banter. Turns out, though, that when these guys are in the talented hands of Caroline Baker and Fox sex is no barrier to wittiness, and given the sex act most discussed in this story, that's damned impressive. Anyway, after I finished this story (and finished laughing), I realized that I couldn't even pretend any longer that I was not in the Sports Night fandom. Because I would go a long, long way, at least in the electronic sense, for FF with dialog this damn good.

Best FF Featuring Creative Use of Semaphore Interpretation Skills: Once Again, in French, by Cara Chapel, who I suspect is also cara_chapel, though I would really appreciate some confirmation on that. Due South, Ray Vecchio/Renfield Turnbull. Yes, you read that pairing right. I spent several minutes frozen in front of my computer after I saw that, worrying that perhaps I was having an oddly lifelike hallucination, or that I had lost my mind. After a bit, I opened my eyes, inspected the pairing again, and realized it was Cara Chapel who'd lost her mind, not me, so that's good news. But here's the thing: I like Turnbull. (Some may argue that this is proof of insanity right there. They would be big ol' party-poopers.) Admittedly, this fondness is based only on his inconsistent portrayal in FF, but still. I like him. I'm always happy when he gets some, be it sex, respect, or fun, because he seems sorely in need of all three. Well, here he gets a kiss, at any rate, and at least some fun, and it's cute and sweet and a little giggly - just like Turnbull would be drunk, really - and, honestly, I'd read a whole series involving this pairing.

Best FF That Demonstrates, Yet Again, That a Drunken Jack Aubrey Is a Force of Nature, If Not Actually an Act of God: The Best Men, by gritkitty. Master & Commander books, Stephen Maturin/Jack Aubrey. Yes, this could just as easily be read by those who have only seen the movie, but I specify M&C books for several reasons. The best one is this: if you like this story, you might as well buy the entire series, because you'll also like the canon. Subtract half of the fondling and all of the sex from this fic and you've got a scene that could be pasted into a half-dozen of the novels. And, frankly, that just makes me swoon. I love it when FF writers capture some essential element of M&C, be it voice, character, pacing, whatever. And I love that M&C is already so slashy that, really, it's hard to believe there wasn't something like this in one of the books.

Best FF Featuring Mention of a Dust Vent and Comparisons to the Cleaning Thereof: Theory and Practice, by Halrloprillalar, aka prillalar. Star Wars, Luke Skywalker/Biggs Darklighter, because turns out he does have a second name, at least according to penknife, and I think we can all agree that said second name is awful. This is a gentle little kissing fic that I love because I believe in my heart that Luke Skywalker would suck at kissing, and when you read this story you'll understand that I chose the word 'suck' very carefully. I can hear whiny Episode IV Luke in this story, and it makes me sort of nostalgic for the days when I watched Star Wars whenever I was sick. (I now watch Fellowship of the Rings.) When you're getting all dreamy-eyed and sighing over whining, you know that either you've seen the canon too many damn times, or the canon has disintegrated to such an extent that an all-whining, all-pouting movie would now be cause for the deepest gratitude. And in this case it turns out that both are true. So go read "Theory and Practice," and remember that there were days, now gone beyond recall, when George Lucas did not suck at making movies even more than Luke sucks at kissing.

* Thanks for the info, darthrami!
penknife: readingpenknife on July 13th, 2004 07:52 am (UTC)
does Biggs even have a second name?

Darklighter. I have no idea why I know this.
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvinethefourthvine on July 13th, 2004 08:14 am (UTC)
Wow. I'm...I'm scared, is what I am. Biggs Darklighter? That's proof right there that the decay set in early over in the Lucasbrain.

*consider hypnotism, assorted drugs, and past-life regression as potential means of determining why penknife knows something so terribly, terribly disturbing*

*realizes sometimes it's better not to ask why*

Love that icon, by the way.
flyingtapes: sparrow by gnomiconsflyingtapes on July 14th, 2004 02:43 pm (UTC)
I think Darklighter actually came from the novels following the movies than the actual movies themselves. Or possibly the novelisations. But I distinctly remember seeing Biggs' last name in a book over hearing it from the screen.
Ramiusdarthrami on July 13th, 2004 07:55 am (UTC)
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvinethefourthvine on July 13th, 2004 08:20 am (UTC)
Re: Fox
Thank you!
(Deleted comment)
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvinethefourthvine on July 13th, 2004 08:52 pm (UTC)
*waves back*

cara_chapel: Giving love to under-represented Canadians, Goonies, Hobbits, and assorted adorable dorks since...um...well - since before I found fandom, in any case.

Go, Cara!

And as long as I've got you here...could you perchance provide me with a link to the front page of your site? I get user errors every time I try to go there.
color is the new danger: tattoo (by mmeguilotn)mmeguilotn on July 13th, 2004 02:45 pm (UTC)
Oh, yeah, Luke would totally suck at kissing. And he would totally whine to Biggs about it too. If there's more good Star Wars IV-VI fic out there, please keep reccing it. I'm pretty worn out on all the Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon because I still haven't forgiven the movie for sucking.
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvinethefourthvine on July 13th, 2004 08:48 pm (UTC)
Now, wait. Are there certified real people who have forgiven Episodes I and II for sucking? Because if so, I would like to meet said people. To check for pods. And mind control laser receivers implanted in their brains.

And, yeah, that's why I adored this story - because wouldn't Luke just suck at the kissage? And whine about it? Hell yes. Whereas Briggs is more of your problem-solving kind of guy.

I will certainly begin recommending other Original Trilogy stories.
(Deleted comment)
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvinethefourthvine on July 13th, 2004 09:56 pm (UTC)
Hey, glad you're here!

So, does the Sports Night Cult have its own LJ community? Because, really, it should. You know, a non-judgmental place where people can get together, exchange banter, tips on providing better love to Bhagwan Sports Night, the latest in SN Cult fashion, and treatment and recovery information for the dreaded and often-fatal Sports Night FF Withdrawal Syndrome.

Frankly, I could use such a place. Because I have, and I am ashamed to admit this, pretty much run through the existing SN FF out there, at least in any easily-accessible place.

Help me. (And tell me, in your icon: which one is Danny and which one is Casey? Because, and I realize this is only me here, but I swear they look exactly alike.)
(Deleted comment)
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvinethefourthvine on July 14th, 2004 12:05 am (UTC)
I still maintain that a SN Cult community would meet a lot of underserved needs. But I do keep my eye on the various existing communities and archives, except inthetallgrass, which seems to be mostly West Wing. And I do not so much get the West Wing.

We're a small fandom with only a few active writers so what fic is about has either been around for a long time or only comes out in dribs and drabs. The one good thing it is that most of those who are writing are all great authors. I was completely amazed by the quality of the fanfic when I first started reading SN, after spending so much time wading through dross in other fandoms.

Oh, god, I know. I was in awe of the overall quality of FF when I started reading it. Still am. Except now I'm sort of gloomy, because this kind of quality should be maintained, and yet it seems most of the authors have flown to other fandoms.

See, this is why you need to watch the show! But for now, Danny is the one of the left and Casey is looking straight at you.

Even as we speak, my Best Beloved is watching the series (thanks to the devoted and ceaseless pimping of fanofall), with a view to coaching me through it. (I have Television Issues, mostly relating to not understanding a single damn thing that happens on said opiate of the masses, so I need a lot of guidance to watch TV.) I have already seen two small snippets, including the hysterical "vaguely gay" one (I very much suspect we will be asking each other if there's a law against being vaguely gay for quite some time to come), and I look forward to expanding my repertoire to a whole show just as soon as BB is feeling more confident about that.

Goodness, how long-winded have I been?

Not nearly long-winded enough, in my opinion. For who can ever speak enough of the SN love?
(Deleted comment)
¿es eso un libro de besos?: fangirldarthfox on July 14th, 2004 07:35 am (UTC)
A lot of SN writers seem to have a brief flirtation then flee to other more prolific fandoms.

it's because the SorkinVoice is hard, man. [/whine]
 I'm not familiar with the thing I'm seeinglite_bright on July 19th, 2004 10:49 am (UTC)
As to the first part of the entry?

No, you're not missing the point. The Bible gets absolutely randy at points. See "Song of Songs" and, really, the Psalms. Because they're not God talking to the Church. Unless the Church suddenly grew really nice bits of female anatomy, which is something I'd rather not think about.

Eck, now I'm thinking about it.
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvine2 by MMWDthefourthvine on July 21st, 2004 04:01 pm (UTC)
Now I am thinking about it, too, and...ew. I may commence swooning at any time.

But I'm glad to hear that what I'm reading into the Bible is actually there; I had begun to fear that FF had corrupted me to such an extent that I could find subtext in a toaster manual. (Toaster/Bread: it's the hot OTP. And let's not forget the OT3 - Toaster/Bread/Butter. And, hey, throw fruit preserves into the mix and you've got kinkfic! Um. Apparently FF has corrupted me beyond all hope. Oh, dear.)