December 30th, 2010

UF black and white

Yuuuuuuuletide! (Plus special bonus Yuletide content.)

I had an awesome Yuletide! (Although I thought I'd wait to tell you about it until you had a fighting chance of getting into the archive. I've had good luck ever since the first day, but I know other people have, um, not.)

Listed in order of publication, my THREE Yuletide stories. (Which is particularly amazing because for the first time in five years, I was not a pinch hit. I cannot tell you how relieved and happy this made me. I am not pure poison to Yuletide writers! Someone out there liked me enough to keep me! And, yes, I know it isn't personal, but I think I can be forgiven for getting a little paranoid. Whoever you were, assigned writer, thank you for staying with me. When I find out who you are, I promise to love you extra.)

Crispy on the edges, Chewy in the middle (1979 words) by Anonymous
Fandom: Cook's Illustrated (Cookbooks)
Rating: General Audiences
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Cooks

Reinventing the classics is actually harder than it looks (and it looks pretty darn

This is, I am pretty sure, a precise transcription of the making of a Cook's Illustrated recipe. This is how obsessive these people are. If you ever wondered why you'd want a Cook's Illustrated cookbook or magazine, this right here is why: these people are crazy. And if you already have said cookbook or magazine, you've got to read this story. Because you will recognize this, oh yes you will. It's what's written between the lines of every recipe they publish. It follows the ultimate Cook's recipe (Four measures of OCD, six measures of science, and eight measures of perfectionism. Stir until only just combined. Pour into a glass cake pan, 8 x 8 only, and bake for 40 minutes. Be sure you are timing with an atomic clock.), but the author totally added her own spices. This is Cook's Illustrated as it actually is!

Cooks llustrated vs. the Holidays; or Science: It Works (1833 words) by Anonymous
Fandom: cooks illustrated
Rating: General Audiences
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: christopher kimball, bridget lancaster, Becky Hayes, Julia Collin-Davidson, Adam Reid

Christopher Kimball declares war against the Food Network. In the name of SCIENCE!

Note:Some potatoes were smashed during the making of this fanfic. No uranium fuel pellets were used in the potato smashing.

And this is Cook's Illustrated on crack.

I am pretty sure whoever wrote this broke into my house and searched my belongings. (Never fear, mystery author! I have no intention of prosecuting.) There is no other way to explain the plethora of references apparently intended solely for meeeeeee. I mean, sure, lots of people know I love Beaker and the MythBusters, but I don't know how you could know of my enduring love for Neil DeGrasse Tyson unless you interrogated my wife or child. And if you're wondering how Beaker and Adam and Jamie and Neil all end up in a story about cooking, well, that's why you've got to read this story. I'm not going to tell you. I'm just going to say it's hysterical. It's the cooking-related crack fan fiction you've been dreaming of! And don't even try to tell me you haven't been dreaming of it. I KNOW BETTER.

Finding My Religion (1047 words) by Anonymous
Fandom: Son of a Preacher Man (Song)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Billy Ray/Narrator

There were two things that Johnny loved. God. And other boys.

This is a short, sweet, and well-written story about two gay boys in love. In other words, it was basically designed for slash fans of every stripe. (Okay. Not every stripe. We have many unusual people in this community.) It's a delightful take on a song I adore (or, actually, a cover I adore of a song I like), and it's adorable.

Commentfic!, by [ profile] perevision
Fandom: Mysterious Edge of the Heroic World, by E. L. Konigsburg.

And, in one of those Yuletide Miracles you read about, I also got this. It's for a request I made two years ago and gave up on because I didn't think anyone else had actually read the book. (Although see that letter for the reasons why you should.) [ profile] perevision went googling for the same kind of story I requested, and found, rather tragically, only my Yuletide letter. So she wrote some, and left it in the comments of my Dear Author post like a special surprise gift just for me! And it's amazing: sweet and in character and right. I believe this is their future! I hope this is their future! And I tell you what, getting this two years after I requested it has made me a) believe that Yuletide is a magical force in the universe and b) totally sold me on posting detailed Dear Author letters. You never know what people might wander into!

Also posted at Dreamwidth, where there are comment count unavailable comments.