tried to eat the safe banana (thefourthvine) wrote,
tried to eat the safe banana
thefourthvine

Slashy Nominations 67: Three Merry Boys Are We

Or, in some cases, two merry boys and one merry girl. Yes, it's another round of threesome FF. And this time, instead of triangulation or triangles or other things that merely involve three people, I'm going back to my roots: true threesomes. Three people, one bed, and fewer complications than you'd expect. Provided you're already fairly cynical.

Best FF Touting the Value of Threesomes As Therapy, Though Whether It's Recreational Therapy or Occupational Therapy I Cannot Say: Every Which Ray, by Ineke Meyer, aka ineke. Due South, Ray Kowalski/Benton Fraser/Ray Vecchio. You know, this totally illustrates why I am not a fan fiction writer. If someone had suggested this pairing to me, I would've said, well, no. Or, OK, maybe, in the sense that I can sort of see how it would happen, but it'd take, like, a minimum of 20,000 words to explain everything before these three got into bed together. Turns out there's another solution: skip straight to the sex. See, the guys here are totally in character, believably in character, so I was happy to suspend my disbelief (in the case of this story, it's only appropriate that my disbelief was suspended from the ceiling in a vibrating electronic leather swing). I got to the end, said "wow" in appropriately awed tones, and started working on persuading my disbelief to return to me (it sort of got, um, enthralled with the vibrating swing, and we will in fact probably have to go into mediation now), and it was only then that I realized that this story has to stand alone. I can hardly imagine what would come after this sequence, except that I'm sort of worried that it involve RayK punching RayV in the mouth. I absolutely can't imagine what led up to this. And yet it works. It really works. And that, people, is why ineke is a way cool writer, albeit one apparently (and, one hopes, temporarily), sick of thinking about Fraser's cock, and I am merely a recommender, albeit one happy with her lot. (Happier, anyway, than I am with my disbelief at this moment.)

Best FF That Demonstrates That We Really Shouldn't Limit Ourselves Just to Baseball When It Comes to Sports Metaphors for Sex: Two-Player Game, by Bone, aka thisisbone. Sports Night, Danny Rydell/Casey McCall/Stacey Kerr. This story illustrates both why Danny is a dangerous, dangerous friend for Casey, and why Casey totally needs him. Because Casey is, by default, the good boy, even when he wants to be bad. And Danny can persuade him to do anything. Well, OK, maybe that last part is only true in my sick little mind. But I - and I am so insanely proud of this, I can't even begin to tell you about it - I have just finished watching the scene involving Stacey Kerr in the actual show, thanks to the Queen of Fandom Pimps, fanofall, and I can completely believe that this is how it ended. (Side note, also gleaned from the same scene: Casey dances like a great big geek. Seriously. I will be nominating him for lifetime membership in the Dances Like Gits society at our next annual meeting.) Actually, I'm willing to make an argument that this is how the series finale should've gone. Although I understand the network might've had something to say about that.

Best FF That Gives Us Another Metaphor for Arwen's Choice to Be Human. And I for One Think This Is Way Better Than the Whole Book-Dropping Scene, Which Was, Face It, Pretty Lame.: In the Silent Forest Listening, by Cathain, aka casapazzo. Lord of the Rings, Arwen/Aragorn/Boromir. Aragorn/Boromir writers often neglect the whole Arwen thing in favor of the hot gay sex. And, hey, I'm all for hot gay sex, but that doesn't mean you get to ignore the pre-existing canon relationship. My favorite way of coping with this builds on Arwen's elvishness; when you live forever, how does some minor mortal need really bother you? It's not like it's going to last. This story, though, goes the other direction, and turns out that totally works, too. Here, Arwen's showing her human side, being insecure and just the weest bit blindsided. She's got an answer to her problems, too - and it is just such a human one; she going to hop into bed - well, OK, hop into a forest glade, but that doesn't have the same ring - with her betrothed and his boyfriend. Hey, I'm sure the Relationship Knowledge Base documents this solution somewhere.

Best FF That Shows Us That Threesomes Can Resolve Leftover Issues from Your School Career and Force You to Get Your Life on Track Again. Yay Threesomes, the Cure for Every Ill!: Sodomite, by ivyblossom. Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Cho Chang/Draco Malfoy. Yeah, you read that right. For the record, this is an aged-up fic; they're all over 18, so no squickishness there. Also for the record, this story is unbeta'd, and it does show, mostly in typos and spellchecker errors; my fellow pedants and grammar bitches are duly warned. But you know? It's worth it. It's worth it because of the characterizations, first. I mean, one of the great things about HP is that there are so many possible interpretations of every character. I can see Harry turning out this way, going passive and aimless when the Big Bad is defeated - I mean, really, how does advancing up the ol' career ladder matter when you spent your entire adolescence saving the world more often than you changed your socks? And wars do change people, especially those on the losing side, so Draco's going to be different, and I can see the potential in him to go this way. And Cho? I'm totally biased, because I think I knew this Cho, but still. I love what ivyblossom has done with her here. (Yes, I know, I sound like I'm a character decorator: "Oh, honey, I just love what you've done with her motivations - so neo-Edwardian! And look at this marvelous values treatment! Tres slut-chic, darling, perfect.") So, to sum: go for the threesome of threesomes. Stay for the characterization. And, you know, while you're there, you might as well admire the threesomes again.
Tags: [rec theme: threes], due south, harry potter, lord of the rings, sports night
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