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04 August 2004 @ 09:42 pm
Slashy Nominations 72: Nothing Is Secret Which Shall Not Be Made Manifest  
Do you trust me?

Well, OK. No, really, I don't blame you, and I'm not at all hurt. But do you trust me a little? Even a tiny bit? At least when it comes to fan fiction? Because I am about to ask you to take a link of faith, so to speak. The following stories have only one thing in common: they will be spoiled if you know the usual information (fandom, pairing, plot) before you read them. But they are really worth reading, and the surprise just makes it all the more delightful. So if you're willing to read blind, I think I can promise you some fun. And if you're not, well, your loss, toots. Nyah nyah nyah. (Yes, my parents did get an excellent return on all the years of alternative dispute resolution and assertive self-expression courses they paid for me to attend. Let this be a lesson to those of you with children: skip the therapy and just buy the sproutlings expensive entertainment gear. Escapism beats self-knowledge any day.)

Best FF That Goes a Long Way Toward Healing the Pain Caused by the Travesties Otherwise Known as Star Wars Episodes One and Two, AKA Star Wars: It Takes a Lot to Kill the Love, but By God, It Can Be Done, and I, George Lucas, Will Prove It: Just Names for Sides, by daegaer. I think I can safely tell you that you'll need to have seen Star Wars to understand this one. I can also tell you it's a crossover. And it's completely changed the way I see one scene of the aforementioned movie, but that's fine, because it does the heart good to snicker at Luke Skywalker, Ultrawhiner Edition (Now with Extra Whine!). At least, it does my heart good. Which in no way changes the fact that Daegaer is an evil, evil writer; it just makes me love her for it. And I think that's it for the "fore-warned" aspect of things with this one.

Best FF That Makes the Owies Left by the Scary, Scary Badfic All Better: Something's Wrong, by Saya Senyum, I think her name is, aka i_smile (I'm sure about that). And I feel I can tell you that it's Harry Potter, Ron Weasley/Harry Potter, because the author does, but don't let that lull you into feeling secure. This story is a subgenre I really wish we saw more often. It isn't a canon fix-it, it's a fan fiction fix-it; the story actually patches the holes in another, presumably much worse, story. Considering all the horrible FF out there, we could do with a lot more of this. Turns out there's no FF mistake that can't be reconciled by tilting one's head, squinting, and inverting the monitor. Well, provided one is the current receptacle of divine madness, as Saya Senyum (if that is her name) clearly was while writing this.

Best FF That Reveals What We Always Suspected of All Those Inuit Stories - i.e., That Fraser Is Making a Lot of Them Up: No Less Radiant, by laurakaye. Due South. I can't tell you anything about this story, except that A Certain Person should not read it (although she probably will anyway, and I don't think she'll be sorry, exactly), and neither should Ardent (but she already knows that, I'm guessing). It isn't exactly of a piece with the rest of the nominations here, but I had to include it, because I want those of you unfamiliar with this story (assuming there are people unfamiliar with this story) to come to it the way I did: with no knowledge about it at all. Really, it works best this way. If you don't agree, feel free to leave a bitter comment. I will reply, even, because that will give me a chance to show off my icons.

Best FF That Proves That Sometimes Plagiarism Is Neither Theft Nor Homage, but Rather the Sign of a Brilliantly Deranged Mind: The Other Guide, by Francesca, aka cesperanza. The Sentinel. Sort of. We began this set with a mutant crossover from a mind clearly warped out of true by over-exposure to fan fiction, and we end it the same way. This story comes from someone I used to regard as a sane, sober, and sensible individual. And then I found this story. Now I view her as extremely likely to go off into gales of slightly cracked giggles, much in the manner of a person who will soon don a mask and a tight, brightly-colored outfit and go head-to-head with Batman. (She'd be called Fangirl, of course. Her weapons would be TV trivia and the sonic squee, and her outfit would have a large heart with a LJ icon of her favorite pairing - I'm thinking Kowalski/Fraser - in the center. She'd taunt Batman by writing stories about his sexual exploits with nearly everyone in Gotham and posting it all on the internet, and she'd enhance her evil by emailing update notices to his secret email account and to all the Gotham newspapers. And in the last issue, she'd eventually be cornered by the ultimate weapon: Batlawyers.) So, yeah, I've pretty much gotten off the whole story topic, but that's OK, because I can't tell you anything about it anyway. Just read it.


If any of these stories remains a mystery after you've read it, feel free to leave a plaintive query in the comments section. I will do what I can to clear things up. And, of course, I will show off my new icons, for which I thank norah, my own true wombat and long lost mystery relative, and wanderlustlover, who makes gorgeous icons in such quantity that I suspect her (or maybe him) of being paid by LJ to force us all to buy the extra user picture slots.
Imaginary Researcher: Simon says - wytch_sansmercihannahrorlove on August 4th, 2004 09:35 pm (UTC)
I had to read through "Just Names for Sides" twice to get it, but oh man is that thing funny. Thanks for the link.
tried to eat the safe banana: wombat crossing - MMWDthefourthvine on August 4th, 2004 11:10 pm (UTC)
You're more than welcome. I'm glad you liked it!

I love that Daegaer doesn't spell things out, so you do have to read it a couple times to get it, but it's so...so...wonderful.

I guess it would be more accurate to say I just plain love Daegaer.
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(no subject) - thefourthvine on August 4th, 2004 11:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on August 4th, 2004 10:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - fanofall on August 5th, 2004 11:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Innocent Bystanderfiresprite1105 on August 4th, 2004 09:46 pm (UTC)
Hee! Ok, I do not now have, nor have I ever, nor will I ever have, a desire to read Star Wars fic, but that was a truly amusing read. And the particularly apt rec title certainly didn't hurt any. ;)

Ooh! A DS story I haven't read! Shiny.

*blinks out*
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvine blue horizon - MMWDthefourthvine on August 4th, 2004 11:14 pm (UTC)
I dunno. I once reacted to the idea of Star Wars fic the same way I react to the idea of chicken pudding - by gagging and rushing from the room, basically. But I've actually read some good ones. Original trilogy only, though, and mostly for the desire to see Luke whine. (Whine, Luke, whine.)

Um. Hope the dS story was, you know, good for you. I'm kinda wary about rec'ing it without any warnings or comments, but I truly believe it is the only way. But I'm ready to be smacked if that was a bad idea.
(no subject) - slemslempike on August 5th, 2004 01:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on August 5th, 2004 09:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - slemslempike on August 6th, 2004 01:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - firesprite1105 on August 5th, 2004 02:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on August 5th, 2004 09:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - firesprite1105 on August 5th, 2004 02:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on August 5th, 2004 09:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
Marityphoid_mary on August 4th, 2004 09:57 pm (UTC)
So, I'm just going to spoil myself for all of Due South before I start. Strangely, this is usually the best way for me to start a fandom anway. Does Ray die in Due South?
tried to eat the safe banana: please stand by - wanderlustloverthefourthvine on August 4th, 2004 11:18 pm (UTC)
Don't wanna spoil everyone else, so - ROT-13:

Enl vf qrnq ng gur fgneg bs gur fgbel. Ur'f n tubfg, yvxr Senfre'f qnq.

(If you don't know how to decode ROT-13, click on the link and paste the above text into the first box, then click "rotate." The decoded text will appear in the other box.)
(no subject) - fanofall on August 5th, 2004 12:45 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on August 5th, 2004 01:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - fanofall on August 5th, 2004 08:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
Cimorene: ialvatjminkhollow on August 4th, 2004 10:27 pm (UTC)
I'd nearly forgotten about Just Names For Sides. Fun little story, that one.
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvine brown - MMWDthefourthvine on August 4th, 2004 11:18 pm (UTC)
Oh, it is so delightful.

Is that you in your icon?
Iphiginia Saberhagenfanofall on August 4th, 2004 10:33 pm (UTC)
Is anyone else having any difficulty getting the squidge.org host to, you know, load? Anyone? Just me? *sigh*
Imaginary Researcher: Togahannahrorlove on August 4th, 2004 10:48 pm (UTC)
Me too. I guess the problem's not on my end.
(no subject) - thefourthvine on August 4th, 2004 11:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - fanofall on August 5th, 2004 12:40 am (UTC) (Expand)
Cesperanzacesperanza on August 4th, 2004 10:39 pm (UTC)
Someone has told you, haven't they, that your reviews are at least as entertaining as the stories you rec (and in some cases, more?) People always say, blah blah, you should write professionally but you should review professionally. I'd read a column if you wrote it, whether I was planning to read the actual books or not--and that's the sign of a good reviewer!

--Ces (thrown into a blast of her past; an Obsenad for fuck's sake! Most of you don't even know what that IS!)
tried to eat the safe banana: Violet's ass - wanderlustloverthefourthvine on August 4th, 2004 11:22 pm (UTC)
*squirms with joy*

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I am delighted you like my reviews that much. And I would kill to review pretty much anything professionally, but it is, alas, not to be. My professional writing is all really, really boring.

*more joyful squirming* Cesperanza likes my recs! *gleeful dance*

...an Obsenad for fuck's sake! Most of you don't even know what that IS!

Um. Me included. And I wonder every time I read this, though I sort of had a guess - something to do with Senad + ob, maybe? But an actual explanation would be very welcome.
(no subject) - cesperanza on August 5th, 2004 12:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on August 12th, 2004 06:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
the upper echelons of mediocritythe_star_fish on August 5th, 2004 05:10 am (UTC)
I was spoiled for No Less Radiant by the hoo-ha going on on-list immediately after it was posted (with no warnings), but since I'm a big ol' freak for a well-written death story, I dove right in. The impact was still there at the reveal, but it was lessened, I think.

Now I must read it again ...

P.S. -- I love your reviews, too. Even when I don't read the fandom, I enjoy your review of the story. You have a good blend of the snarky and sincere.
Laura Kayelaurakaye on August 5th, 2004 02:01 pm (UTC)
Heh. And that's exactly why I posted it without warnings- because you really need to read it unspoiled. When I posted the sequels I used a warning that said something like "Sequel to No Less Radiant, which you REALLY REALLY REALLY need to read first."

I'm always glad when this story gets noticed, because I owe several much-cherished friendships to correspondence that arose out of the aforementioned hoo-ha. (waves up at Ces) *G*

And let me just third the comments on these reviews- I always read them, even if they're in fandoms I have no intention of reading, because they're so entertaining. So go you!
BUT HARRY STYLES: ben & rayk grating by wistful feverestrella30 on August 5th, 2004 07:30 am (UTC)
eeee! No Less Radiant


Gah. I remember the first time I read this I immediately scrolled back to the top of the page. "Wait, what???"

Sigh. As always, wonderful recs *g*
semiellipticalsemielliptical on August 5th, 2004 04:53 pm (UTC)
If any of these stories remains a mystery after you've read it, feel free to leave a plaintive query in the comments section.

I guess I will fess up that I think I'm missing something about Just Names for Size. What's the crossover?

Glad that you linked Something's Wrong - it was fun to read it again, even knowing...you know. My kind of fic!
tried to eat the safe banana: what big eyes I have - wanderlustloverthefourthvine on August 5th, 2004 06:18 pm (UTC)
Well, I knew that story could be a problem, because if you don't know the other fandom you'll be totally lost, and there's no way to make sure you do know it without ruining the whole thing. My apologies.

So, ROT-13 (so that we don't acidentally spoil anyone else):

Gur bgure snaqbz vf Tbbq Bzraf, juvpu vf n snagnfgvp obbx ol Arvy Tnvzna naq Greel Cengpurgg. Vs lbh unira'g ernq vg, gur fgbel jba'g znxr n yvpx bs frafr. Fbeel!

(To decode that, just paste the above text into the first box on the link and click "rotate.")
mary margrave: MOO HA HA HA HA //melkor_\\danibennett on August 6th, 2004 09:39 pm (UTC)
Oh my god. 'Just Names For Sides'. I will never be able to watch Star Wars agaib without shouting "nsdfnsdasdgnbskflCROWLEY!" at the screen. And that's a hard sound to make.

*loves* I wasn't sure I got it, but then, he called him 'dear', and that is so Aziraphale.
tried to eat the safe banana: bra/head: OTPthefourthvine on August 6th, 2004 10:31 pm (UTC)
Oh, Lord, I know. It's changed the movie for me, too. But at least when I next watch it I'll finish with my vocal cords intact. You, on the other hand, might want to have a surgical team on standby, because that is one hell of a challenging sound.

And I love how Daegaer tells us who they are without, you know, telling us. She's amazing.

(Um. Can I ask about your icon now? I've been really, really good and repressed the curiosity, but I'm not sure how much longer I can stand to do so.)
(no subject) - danibennett on August 7th, 2004 01:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - danibennett on August 7th, 2004 01:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
...AND THE HOCKEY MEDIA IS THE SARLACC!: how ineffable an ineffable plan? [Good Oshihadchick on December 6th, 2005 11:31 pm (UTC)
...piping up from lurkerdom (well, a very busy 24 hours of frantic reading, anyway) to say thank you ever so much for your reccs. As cesperanza said - they're just as good as the fics themselves and I've been howling over the lovely turns of phrase at odd moments ever since a friend linked me to your journal (she got sick of giving me dS reccs and decided to turn me over to the professionals... )

Mostly, the point where you got me here was the SW fic rec - I nearly didn't click it, given that the aforementioned New Trilogy has burned me out so badly on SW that it's hard to take these days, but your recc was hilarious so I thought "the hell with it", did so, and now I can't beleive I've never run across this story before. So thank you very very much for introducing me to it (and a whole bunch of other cool fic.)

And, oh, my, that dS story in this lot of reccs. *heart clutches* Just... yeah.