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09 September 2004 @ 08:14 pm
Slashy Nominations 81: I Share the Midnight Orgies of Young Men  
After my long, grim, house-repair-related hiatus, I'm getting back in the recommendations saddle with a classic theme: threesomes. And, in this case, more. And because I believe in Fan Fiction Diversity (what, you thought my rainbow sticker referred to something else?), I'm representing all three major species of true threesome stories here. Points to the first person to identify them by their Latin and common names. Extra points if you can describe their natural habitats and behaviors.

Best FF Featuring a Sex Toy That Puts All Other Sex Toys to Shame. After You Read This, You'll Never Again Look at Your Home Bondage Equipment Without a Vague Sense of Disappointment. Other Smiles May Make You Fickle, by Te, aka thete1. Teen Titans, Tim/Bart/Kon/Cassie. Well, I can't say this is a threesome. It's...I don't think there's a word, actually, for what this is. Unusual, that'd be one word. Twisted, that'd be another. Maybe I should go for "proof that Te's mind is a wonderfully perverse place, and in a just universe, things would always be the way she imagines them." Because, you know, I always thought the magic lasso thing was lame, and doubly lame given that Wonder Girl has one as well as Wonder Woman. "Magic lasso?" I was frequently heard to snort. "Hey, I know! I'll be Square Dance Girl, and I'll have a magic bolo tie! Or, wait - I'll be Wonder Texan, with a magic giant belt buckle!" This story has convinced me that I should not mock the magic lasso. It can make Tim lose control, after all. (It's also convinced me that I want to see what kind of sexual madness Te can do with a magical belt buckle, but I suppose some wants are destined to go unfulfilled.)

Best FF Featuring an Early Version of the Sock-on-the-Doorknob Technique, Making Me Wonder If the Sock Thing Ends This Way, Too. You've Got to Admit That Would Help Explain Fraternities. Fine, by kaydeefalls. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Butch/Sundance/Etta. This is almost canon, right here. And speaking of canon, you do know how this movie ends, right? Because if you don't, do yourself a favor and don't read this. But if you do, then this is a story for you; it doesn't read like fan fiction so much as a more accurate version of the events portrayed in the movie. Though I'm not sure William Goldman would agree. In any case, my whole Ocean's Eleven thing has extended to a longing for Butch/Sundance and Hooker/Henry (The Sting); there's just something so compelling about bad guys in love. And while I can't find any Sting, dammit, I've got some Butch and Sundance stuff, and I plan to send all of it your way. Consider yourself warned.

Best FF That Makes Me Feel Like a Total Moron About Popular Culture. Actually, All FF Makes Me Feel That Way, So Perhaps I Should Add a Qualification About Tick References Somewhere in Here. The Night Is Young and There Are Umbrellas in Our Drinks, by musesfool. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Xander Harris/Oz Osbourne/Willow Rosenberg. This one is set after the series ended, I think, and it definitely shows the effects of seven years on a Hellmouth with a slayer. (You know, that'd be a great title for Xander's autobiography: "I Survived Seven Years on a Hellmouth with a Slayer; or, When You Look at It, I'm Lucky All I Lost Was an Eye, Assorted Girlfriends, and Most of My Mind.") I mean, sure, you might be a little tense about hopping into bed with your current boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend who also happens to be your best friend, but you probably didn't spend last night fighting demons that decorate their birthday parties with balloon animals made from human genitals and play Pin the Red Hot Poker on the Person. It's all perspective. And once again this story shows us that any triangle, no matter how angsty, history-ridden, or tortured, can be resolved with a judicious application of group sex. I think that's something we could all stand to remember.

Best FF That Proves That Not Only Is a Picture Worth a Thousand Words, but the Right Hundred Words Can Be Worth a Thousand, Too: Untitled, debchan. Due South, Ray Vecchio/Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski. And, yes, there will be an alternate story for people who just cannot stand the idea of Fraser doing both Rays, or being with Vecchio. But even if you are one of those people, you should read this, because it's funny and amazing and so in character it had me wriggling with joy. Also, it's so tiny that you won't have a chance to get skeeved out or irritated. I'm fairly sure that debchan's ability to write little gems like this is proof that she's sold her soul. So we should probably petition her to post an essay on "Selling Your Soul for Slash," because the world would be a far, far better place if everyone could write like this.


Best FF That Makes a Valuable and Important Statement About the Inadequacy of Modern Towel Rack Construction: Rain, by laurakaye. Due South, Renfield Turnbull/Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski. Look, this is a threesomes set, so even a Certified Safe Alternate Story has to involve someone who is neither Fraser nor Kowalski. And who could be more harmless and fun than Turnbull? I always appreciate seeing Turnbull get some page time, so to speak, and it's especially nice when he's got talents, as he does here. I mean, Turnbull must be good at something, and for all we know he's so spacey during the daytime because he spends nights honing his cocksucking skills. (Um. Hope that didn't induce disturbing mental images in Turnbull-haters, except, you know what? You shouldn't hate Turnbull, so you deserve all the images you get.) Also, it's rare to see an established threesome story, so make sure you enjoy that aspect of this. You won't look on its like again for a long, long time. Plus: towel rack!
(Deleted comment)
tried to eat the safe banana: wombat OTP - MMWDthefourthvine on September 10th, 2004 04:57 am (UTC)
For some reason, threesome fics tend to be short. I'm not really sure why that is; I keep hoping ineke will flesh out her Vecchio/Fraser/Kowalski scene into the full-length fic she's planned out around it. That would be amazingly excellent.

And I'm glad to be back. All this clean, slash-free living has been horrible.

(And thank you for the Smallville recs. I realized just after I posted this today that there was one on that list that should've also been on this one. But since we probably have a seriously overlapping friends group, maybe it's a good thing that one will have to wait for the next threesome set.)
Empress of All I Survey: Cate (1)gornishka on September 9th, 2004 10:43 pm (UTC)
w00t! - more Butch/Sundance? O wondrous bounty!

Saw the DVD at the store today, and thought, "what I wouldn't give for a scene where they just lick each other all over." William Goldman be damned.
tried to eat the safe banana: universal fandom white - MMWDthefourthvine on September 10th, 2004 04:55 am (UTC)
I eagerly await the day when we'll be able to combine photo manips and vidding to create entirely new scenes for movies. I can think of at least 100 that will shoot to the top of my wish list that day.

And, yes, there's more Butch/Sundance out there. But where is all the Sting fic? Where? Where?
kaydee falls: who ARE those guys?kaydeefalls on September 11th, 2004 08:53 pm (UTC)
If you ever actually find any Sting fic, do share with the rest of the class, please. ;)

And BTW, thanks for the rec!
Dammit, Clark's penis is going in *something*.: Batman: My fandom is odd. (cicatrix_zerothete1 on September 10th, 2004 12:33 am (UTC)
*hee hee* That story was ALL liviapenn's fault. Her bunnies are teh CRACK.
tried to eat the safe banana: batman - wanderlustloverthefourthvine on September 10th, 2004 04:52 am (UTC)
I wouldn't say it was liviapenn's fault, exactly. More like her brainwave, really. 'Cause I've never read a story before and known what to call the sex act. That's inspired.
Dammit, Clark's penis is going in *something*.: Mmmm. Bart. Wantey. (Livia)thete1 on September 10th, 2004 05:09 am (UTC)
'Cause I've never read a story before and known what to call the sex act. That's inspired.

*laughing* See, it's sentences like that which make the pronoun-wrangling *worthwhile*...
tried to eat the safe banana: Poison Ivy - wanderlustloverthefourthvine on September 10th, 2004 06:36 am (UTC)
Um. That should've been "not known what to call the sex act," of course. Tired. Failed to proofread. Killed too many neurons in my teen years. Etc.

But, hey, nothing like writing a story where one person is simultaneously having a male and female point of view to appreciate the standard slash pronoun problem ("...and then he licked his cock, driving him to ever-greater paroxysms of pleasure..."). Or so I would imagine.
Ardent: Napoleonardent_muses on September 10th, 2004 09:43 pm (UTC)
Mmmm. Threesomes! Never enough threesomes!

Rain is a favorite of mine. That story is so visceral and hot, and also so beautiful. Yum. Laura rocks!

I also checked out "Fine", which was awesome! I do wish she'd written the sex, but I consider myself lucky to have read it in any case. She did a wonderful job.

I'm with you on the Redford/Newman slash chemistry, and I'd love to read more. I re-watched both BCATSK and The Sting over the summer, and....guh! My Redford focus has recently shifted and now I give a slight preference to Newman, which means I need to look at everything again with that in mind. But why choose when you can have BOTH? :)
kaydee falls: who ARE those guys?kaydeefalls on September 11th, 2004 08:50 pm (UTC)
re: the not-having-written-the-sex thing
Neener. ;P