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12 September 2004 @ 06:57 am
Real Life Advisory  
Because I worried a few people when I disappeared without warning during my last hiatus, I'm going to tell y'all what's going on in my life right now. But, hey, this isn't a personal LJ, so I'll completely understand if you want to skip right to the news about the future availability of smut, snark, and fannish obsessions in this space.

I am experiencing an on-going annoyance known as Real Life; those of you who have been using the internet for a while will recognize that chilling phrase all too well.

Real Life is what happens when you turn the computer off. It hardly ever features smut, or friends lists, or kindness to strangers. Real Life is a place where people play Minesweeper or Solitaire when they're bored at work. Real Life is where people spend more time watching television (or, hell, for that matter, sleeping) than they do in front of the computer thingie that they still vaguely fear. Real Life is where people pay for their porn. In other words, Real Life is filled with people so different from us that they're probably a new species.

When Real Life people go on vacation, they don't bring their computers. And they're happy about that; they don't miss them at all.

The rest of us, though, and I am of course included in that 'us,' don't go on vacation; they go on often-mandatory, painful computer deprivation adventures. In fact, they even sort of dread leaving the house, because you never know what people are going to post while you're working or buying groceries.

I am an internet person. But RL has come for me, smacked me around, made me lick its feet, made me apologize for thinking I could ever escape from it. In other words, thanks to the World's Most Evil Plumbing, I have once again packed up and moved away from my beloved computer. I'll be able to check my LJ mail and my deepbluesea at postmark dot net address, but I won't be able to spend any time browsing my flist. So please, if you post something interesting or hear about a new story I need to read, email me. I will love you forever.

Because, dammit, I could use a distraction or two from my endless internal litany of Things That Have Broken in the Last Three Weeks(air conditioner, garage door, garage electricity, washing machine, plumbing, including main line and sewer line, both of which will need to be replaced, which means we will soon have neither a garden nor a driveway. I won't even go into the allergy-related madness that impelled us to pull up two carpets and refinish the last of our hardwood floors).

So updates will be extremely sporadic for roughly the next two weeks - basically until we can, with luck, once again return to our house. I miss you all more than I can say; also, my fingers are veritably burning with sets longing to be rec'd. But, until the happy day when our house is ours once more, I will check in as often as I can, waving jealously at you in your freedom to roam this land we love. (Jesus I wish I still had a laptop.)

And so gloom descends on thefouthvine, followed closely by self-pity, whining, and random bouts of crying.

(Hmm. Sounds we've got a superhero team on our hands! I want to be gloom. Do I hear a volunteer for self-loathing, cynicism, self-pity, one-up-manship, or schadenfreude? Let's get this team working, folks! We won't even have to fight baddies; they'll run after they take one look at us - Gothic Open Mic Reader Girl, Lady Who Explains Revolting Personal Problems in Detail and with Pictures, Laughing at Everyone Else's Misery Man, and, of course, The Whiner, whose voice has been known to cause seizures in the weak and sensitive. )
on sateda, i was an accountantminervacat on September 12th, 2004 07:51 am (UTC)
That sucks beyond the telling of it, hon. It really does. I'm so sorry.

I promise to keep an eye out for all the new Sports Night fics while you're gone, though. :)
tried to eat the safe banana: blue girl - runpunkrunthefourthvine on September 13th, 2004 08:40 am (UTC)
Oh god, the horror - Sports Night fic that I won't read the moment it's published! You'll have to give me a full briefing when I'm officially returned. God knows I can't survive without my own dear precious SN.

Especially with the kind of life I've been having recently.
Rustyrusty76 on September 12th, 2004 08:00 am (UTC)
How awful! I love your style - and your posts! - but I fully sympathize with the sheer three ring circus you've got going on - hope you're settled back soon!
tried to eat the safe banana: sharing - MMWDthefourthvine on September 13th, 2004 08:44 am (UTC)
My house could be considered a three-ring circus right now only if the clowns were in control, the stagehands were all on strike, the elephants had consumed an entire month's worth of fodder and were wandering through the grounds uncontrolled, and the tigers were randomly leaping out, biting people, and relieving them of their wallets.

(Which, you know, that could actually *be* what a circus is like these days. I haven't been since I was four, and maybe there's a reason.)

Thanks for the sympathy and the ego-boosting; I'm like a sponge for that right now. ("Hey, OK, my life is in boxes and my plumbing's a disaster and I'm living with my parents for the first time since high school, but at least people like my posts." See? It all balances out.)
(Deleted comment)
tried to eat the safe banana: namastethefourthvine on September 13th, 2004 08:46 am (UTC)
You can definitely be worry. The team as it currently stands:

thefourthvine is Gloom
umbo is Worry (and it sort of alarms me that, in an emergency, Worry could deliver your baby)

Soon we'll be ready to take on the world! The cheerful part of it, anyway.
The Black Kitten: Nobility - Sacrifice - Chocolate: bad newslaylah on September 12th, 2004 08:14 am (UTC)
Blargh. Sorry to hear about the RL mess -- good luck getting through it with minimal distress!

And I volunteer to be schadenfreude.
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvine blue horizon - MMWDthefourthvine on September 13th, 2004 08:48 am (UTC)
This is picking up wonderfully. Now we have:

thefourthvine is Gloom
umbo is Worry
laylah is Schadenfreude

Coming soon to ruin a good time near you!

(We'll need costumes. I'm thinking that it's hard to wrong with basic black.)
Kat Allison: godkatallison on September 12th, 2004 08:21 am (UTC)
Begone, foul demons of Real Life! Flee while you may, hell-spawned imps of Plumbing and Major Appliances! It is I, Pointless 3 a.m. Angst Woman, who stands against you, brandishing a mighty keyboard!

(Or in other words, arrgh, I'm so sorry to hear about all the crap going on, and wish you godspeed in returning to home, internet, and smut.)
tried to eat the safe banana: Violet's ass - wanderlustloverthefourthvine on September 13th, 2004 08:51 am (UTC)
And take that, Gremlins of Homes in Total Disorder! You face the combined might of:

thefourthvine as Gloom
umbo as Worry
laylah as Schadenfreude
katallison as Pointless 3 A.M. Angst

Thought that would make you quail. Pretty soon Girl Who Loudly Shares All Her Feelings will be here, and then any of you foul demons that haven't fled will be extremely sorry.
BUT HARRY STYLES: LOVE by d3athofs3asonsestrella30 on September 12th, 2004 08:27 am (UTC)
Oh honey. That sucks like a big sucking thing.

Hope RL starts looking up for you soon. We miss you here!

*sends good porny thoughts your way*
tried to eat the safe banana: namastethefourthvine on September 13th, 2004 11:52 am (UTC)
Actually, "a big sucking thing" is a fabulous description of our house right now. If I ever get a chance to do more than pack and unpack and repack (and to think, when we moved in, I thought I was finally done with cardboard boxes), I will get a plaque made with that on it. It is my house's new motto!

And you're absolutely right: porn is what I need right now. I need Fraser/Kowalski home repair porn. Because, really, sudden disastrous home repairs must be a) more sexy and b) way more dangerous when F and K are involved. Know of any home repair porn out there?
guede_mazaka on September 12th, 2004 08:42 am (UTC)
Oh, I feel your pain. I have to go on no-Internet vacations at least once a year to prove to family that I don't have an incurable addiction.


Anyway, I've got an 'Ocean's 11' oneshot in the works, so there's that coming. Will drop a link here when it's done.
tried to eat the safe banana: glorious freakishness - MMWDthefourthvine on September 13th, 2004 11:55 am (UTC)
Ooo. I am now twitching with anticipation: O11 oneshot! Coming soon! Very, very soon, I'm hoping.

(And don't your withdrawal symptoms kind of undermine the whole "she's not addicted; she can quit at any time" thing your family has going? I mean, if you're hurling your body desperately at strangers with laptops, begging for just ten minutes, it's somehow not so persuasive. Of course, you may behave with more dignity on your internet-free vacations. I'm just going by what I do.)
(no subject) - guede_mazaka on September 14th, 2004 07:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
Sihaya Blacksihayab on September 12th, 2004 08:46 am (UTC)

Much sympathy for your RL problems!
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvine blue horizon - MMWDthefourthvine on September 13th, 2004 11:57 am (UTC)
Thank you. I'm grateful for all the sympathy I can get right now, frankly.

*gloomily prods RL problems with stick*

 I'm not familiar with the thing I'm seeinglite_bright on September 12th, 2004 08:52 am (UTC)
Ah, god, not Real Life! That foul demon, getting in the way of smut.

I'll miss you, and hopefully, these upcoming weeks won't suck too much.
tried to eat the safe banana: angry elektra - wanderlustloverthefourthvine on September 13th, 2004 11:58 am (UTC)
Yes, Real Life. And the thing is, none of my abjuration spells is working on the damn thing; RL is one stubborn, stubborn demon.
(Deleted comment)
tried to eat the safe banana: wombat crossing - MMWDthefourthvine on September 13th, 2004 12:00 pm (UTC)
Returning the love. With added wombat.

(Love the moose, by the way. Are you a secret dS fan, or just a secret Canadian?)
I have tactile telecuntnesis.: Timmay by thawreckazeelee_penguin on September 12th, 2004 09:58 am (UTC)
Huh. I'm suffering from that annoying Real Life phenomenon as well. *sigh* I hope things work out for you soon.

Do I hear a volunteer for self-loathing, cynicism, self-pity, one-up-manship, or schadenfreude?

I will *so* be schadenfreude, if you need one. ;)
tried to eat the safe banana: batman - wanderlustloverthefourthvine on September 13th, 2004 12:08 pm (UTC)
Let us wallow in the misery of Real Life together, then. I offer you hope and sympathy and angsty Batman, because if anyone should understand RL problems it's the Batclan.

Unfortunately, we already have a schadenfreude. But the team still needs you! If you have a hankering to be something unfortunate and Germanic, may I offer you sturm und drang instead? Or weltschmerz? Or bratwurst?
Iphiginia Saberhagen: Lexfanofall on September 12th, 2004 10:15 am (UTC)

We love you. It will be okay. I promise.

And then it will be done and you won't have to do it again for a long long time (possibly never).

And I want to be one of the superheroes, but I don't know which one...
tried to eat the safe banana: what big eyes I have - wanderlustloverthefourthvine on September 13th, 2004 12:15 pm (UTC)
You promise? Will you come hurt whoever is responsible if it isn't OK? I would feel a lot better knowing the full wrath of the Procurator General would descend in case of further disaster.

And you, my sweet, have a full range of profession-related superheroes to be. Nuisance lawsuit filer, for example. Or senior partner.
(no subject) - fanofall on September 14th, 2004 08:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
tour cincinnati dammitmisanthrope7842 on September 12th, 2004 10:17 am (UTC)
Blech. Good luck with your RL stuff.
tried to eat the safe banana: thefourthvine brown - MMWDthefourthvine on September 13th, 2004 12:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you. (This means an especially great amount coming, as it does, from someone named misanthrope.)
astolatastolat on September 12th, 2004 10:18 am (UTC)
Ack! Real Life! Not that! Hope the house comes back together shortly.
tried to eat the safe banana: Poison Ivy - wanderlustloverthefourthvine on September 13th, 2004 12:23 pm (UTC)
The curse has truly come upon me, Shalott. (I'd rather have Lancelot than home repairs as my curse, but I suppose you got there first.)
(Deleted comment)
tried to eat the safe banana: wombat OTP - MMWDthefourthvine on September 13th, 2004 12:28 pm (UTC)
Gloom and Cynicism: put us together and you have a complete teenaged goth!

And I will indeed take you up on your sweet and generous offer, because I am not one to turn down porn, ever, and especially not during a dry spell of this magnitude.

(If we're still homeless and living with my parents when VP leaves, I'm taking that as a firm invitation. I will appear at your doorstep with bells on. They'll be warning bells, actually, because by then I'll be completely crazy, but still.)

And, yes, I agree. Home ownership is wonderful. Except when it isn't, and then it sucks, as estrella30 would say, like a big sucking thing. A HUGE sucking thing.