Log in

No account? Create an account
23 November 2004 @ 08:09 pm
Slashy Nominations 98: Learning When to Say When  
I thought that since so many of us here in the States will be over-indulging on Thursday, now might be a good time to remind everyone about the dangers of excess consumption. To wit, that it can lead to gay sex.

And now we see why I will never get a job writing public service announcements.

But, no, really - the drunkfic is a classic of slash literature (I think calling it "slash literature" adds a certain je ne sais quois, don't you?), and this is a time of year for the classics. Turkey, for example. Apple pie. And, of course, alcohol-fueled gay, gay sex. Thank god for tradition, I say.

Best FF That Shows Us That Random Strangers in Parking Lots Have Many Lessons to Teach Us, Not That I Would Advise You to Let Them. Fifth Wheel, by Emily Brunson, aka janissa11. Sports Night, Dan Rydell/Casey McCall. There's nothing more traditional than the Uncomfortable Drunken Conversation. We've all had them. We've all wished we could forget them. But that's because most of them don't end quite as well as this one does. (I hereby wish to apologize to the guy whose name begins with M that I laughed at after he took his pants off in Tracy's bedroom lo these many years ago, and to say that I wish I'd handled the subsequent Uncomfortable Drunken Coversation a bit better. Let me pass on to you an important thing I learned that night: alcohol lowers inhibitions. That doesn't just mean you'll have sex when you'd otherwise think twice. It means you'll laugh at really inappropriate times, too, so it's better not to get yourself in situations where you'll find a near-stranger's underwear amusing, and then be totally unable to come up with a convincing lie to cover for that.) I love this story because it gives us solid first season characterizations: Casey is the fucked up one, Danny is the almost stable and very protective one. Plus, you know, it's written by Em, so it's great. And for those of you who know Em's work well, let me just repeat one thing: it ends well.

Best FF That Shows Us That Bugs Bunny Has Many Lessons to Teach Us, Including Self-Confidence, Comfort with All Aspects of Ourselves, and, of Course, the Importance of Knowing Your Way Around Albuquerque. Samurai Jack'ed, by khaleesian. The Fast and the Furious, Dom Toretto/Brian O'Conner. A tradition even more embarrassing than the Uncomfortable Drunken Conversation is the Uncomfortable Morning After When Your Memory Is a Complete Blank and You Can't Find Your Clothes. And, really, Dom gets the full, deluxe, all-options version of this, from the friend who can remember what you did and teases you mercilessly to the discovery that you may have made an embarrassing confession last night to the sudden flashes of memory that you'd give a very large sum of money to go away forever. Fortunately, this ends well, too. Provided you consider a sudden discovery of not-so-latent mutual homosexuality "ending well." I love this story 'cause it's so very, very Dom and Brian - Dom controlled beyond all reason, Brian almost as calm as he wants to be, and both of them totally unable to resist fucking each other's brains out. Plus, we finally see what I think of as the "excessive bruising slash cliche" - because, really, sometimes I think all slash characters have platelet disorders or something - put to good use.

Best FF That Shows Us Our Friends Have Many Lessons to Teach Us, Including When and When Not to Make Sarcastic Comments About Masturbation. Reveille, Shalott, aka astolat. Stargate-1, Jack O'Neill/Daniel Jackson. If you thought waking up with no memory of the night before and a friend who has a sudden, unexpected knowledge of your tattoo count was bad, imagine waking up with no memory and a friend who has a sudden, unexpected knowledge of the inside of your brain. (Not to mention the inside of your thighs, although you'd think Jack and Daniel would expect that, considering the many times this has happened to them in FF.) What important lesson can we take home from this? Beware of aliens offering beverages. In fact, just in general, it's a good idea to stick to bottled water you brought with you when you're exploring strange lands. Waking up with a naked friend and another presence in your mind is one of the better things that can happen to you if you don't. And, in addition to all the other things I love about this story, I love that it does the impossible: it describes an episode of involuntary, uncontrollable telepathy that doesn't squick me. Those of you who know that telepathy is one of my greatest fears are the only ones who will be suitably impressed by this, so the rest of you just trust me: it's damn impressive. Go read this at once.

Best FF That Shows Us That Captain Jack Sparrow Has Many Lessons to Teach Us, and Every Last One of Them Is Illegal in at Least Nine States. But, Hey, Don't Let That Stand in Your Way. First Warning, by Rave, aka dorkorific* Pirates of the Caribbean, Jack Sparrow/Will Turner. So, if the last story taught us to be careful what we drink in the company of aliens, this story teaches us to be careful what we drink in the company of Captain Jack Sparrow. Though, really, if you needed to be taught that, you should probably have another look at the movie. Here, Jack proves to be, surprisingly, a gentleman. Of course, he's a gentleman who isn't above copping a cheap feel, but then most of them aren't. And Will proves to be, not at all surprisingly, adept at convenient unconsciousness. I bet that got him out of any number of uncomfortable situations growing up. And in addition to the lovely trope of drunken Will and entertained Jack, this story offers us bonus sea shanties! Sort of. Sea shanties sung the way I sing them, actually, which means with only 10% of the words accurate and in the right place. (I'm still convinced there's a song about "Camptown ladies five miles long" and "Camptown rangers" and "something something bay.")

*Thanks, goat003
(Deleted comment)
ineke on November 23rd, 2004 10:28 pm (UTC)
Yes yes yes! You two must both post Stargate recs-- I'm dying of nothing to read, over here! It's an emergency!

PS. thefourthvine, I have teeny baby Vegemite packets for you! I stole them from McDonalds myself. -- Well, okay, I didn't steal, I'm too chicken for that. I asked nicely and offered to pay 20c, but they gave them to me for free *g*. Who says the big M's entirely evil, hey?
(Deleted comment)
tried to eat the safe banana: Wombat OTPthefourthvine on November 24th, 2004 12:25 am (UTC)
*cuddles right back*
ineke on November 24th, 2004 12:37 pm (UTC)
Do you want some teeny Vegemite packets too? I can give you an in-person demonstration on how to eat it. Hee! It'll be fun!*

*For me. I'm sadistic like that.
tried to eat the safe banana: Gagthefourthvine on November 23rd, 2004 11:57 pm (UTC)
Yay! Teeny Vegemite packages! For me!

I am unnaturally excited, considering that this is a foodstuff you've admitted is a) inedible b) caustic and c) possibly not of this Earth. And in re: the evil of McDonalds - um. They gave you Vegemite for free. See above description of said item. Isn't that sorta evil?

(Australian McDonald'ses have Vegemite packages? Like the way we have ketchup packets? Weird.)
ineke on November 24th, 2004 12:41 pm (UTC)
Vegemite's made by Kraft. Which I've always thought was weird: big American company produces quintessential Australian breakfast spread? Now that's evil.

See, I can't think what one would use tomato sauce for at McDonalds. Well, okay, maybe to put on your fries. But fries are so thin that they get soggy with sauce-- I think the trend is for people to eat their fries plain, and to have tomato sauce on their chips (big fat fish-and-chips British chips) when they go to the football.

What's your address, sweetie? I'm tempted to send the packets in a matchbox (for teh cute), but I'm packing the house and I think I threw the last one away.
tried to eat the safe banana: Wombat OTPthefourthvine on November 23rd, 2004 11:01 pm (UTC)
Um. Sorry, dearheart, but I think the drinking --> gay sex thing only works if you're, you know, male. Didn't mean to mislead you or anything. Terribly sorry.

I didn't know you did TFATF! (Um. We have to stop meeting like this, really.) But - YAY! Because I thought I'd be going quietly into that good fandom alone, but it turns out I will have company! We must meet in the very near future to exchange bookmarks. (You know, I spent the days I was acquiring this fandom plotting how to drag you in, because I was thinking it was so your kind of place, and I wanted the company. I had a whole plan and everything that was to go into effect after Thanksgiving and involved strategic reccage. I should've known that you'd already be into any fandom so emminently worth acquiring.)

(Want. Stargate. Recs. WANT!)

Sorry about that. My inner two-year-old sometimes takes over, you know how it is.

Anyway, awfully bucked up to have company - OTPish company! - in my new fandoms of obsession.

*curls up with MMWD, a blanket, a plate of cookies, and some excellent TFATF FF*

(Deleted comment)
tried to eat the safe banana: The world is my fandomthefourthvine on November 24th, 2004 12:24 am (UTC)
I don't know how I missed the squee, because your LJ is one of the very few I never fall behind on! Except I think the recs sets, at least, were posted when I was sick and roaming around bonking into things. In other words, not at my all-time most LJ-y. Maybe I somehow missed it when I was getting caught up.

Stargate tomorrow is very YAY, because this fandom? When it is good, it is really fucking good, but when it is bad it is death to all who behold it. And it's bad a surprisingly high percentage of the time - though not as high as Highlander is, in my experience. (I still can't do Highlander. Just. Can. Not.) But the best thing about Stargate? Definitely the preponderance of aliens make X and Y have sex stories. (In this case, of course, it's Jack and Daniel. But I love the cliche in any fandom.)

I'm new here, obviously, but already aliens have made Jack and Daniel have sex in a whole variety of ways. Gotta love those Voyeuristic Nasty-Curious Alien Species. They make the universe a happier - no, gayer - place.

Also, I love Stargate vids. They bring the funny.

I just wish I had a better handle on the canon, because I'm still in that phase where every other story is built around a canon plot or character I don't know from The Sentinel by Blair Sandburg.
(Deleted comment)
ineke on November 24th, 2004 12:32 pm (UTC)
You must must must read Mary Jane's Willemakee! New to the fandom, and new to me (who's new to the fandom). It's a death story, but I swear it's one of the best things I've read -- not only recently, but ever. It's elegiac and beautiful (and not without hope), and you'll cry cry cry.

I'm a fan of minkboylove's (Anais's) Jack/Daniel stories (confess to not having even attempted the Daniel/Paul ones). They've got a hard edge (as opposed to a mere angsty edge) that's quite refreshing, and mega-porny shagging-like-minks sex. And I love her parody 'Dr Jackson's Diary', but it's a take it or leave it think for a lot of people. Me? I adore it *g*. It's finding its legs for the first two months, but after that I just Couldn't Stop Laughing.

All three of Thevetia's stories are goddamn fantastic and make me green with envy, but I particularly like 'In Common' and the not-so-Christmas story, 'To Drive the Cold Winter Away'. Wonderful Jack, wonderfully observant Daniel.

I'm a bad reccer, to be honest. I just read off other recs pages, and I assume you've glomped on destina's super-comprehensive SG-1 recs page already...
Lianchevron_eight on December 31st, 2004 08:06 pm (UTC)
Not to mention Destina's beautiful stories. Like Unmade, which is brilliant, and Bright Chains, which knocks the aliens make us have sex cliche right on its ass and then stomps on its head. Or Farther Than Earth From Heaven. god what a subtle story.

There are other good writers, too like Salieri, Katie, Keiko Kirin. Destina's rec page has them all but don't overlook her stories, that'd be a crime.
Pouncer: Stargate explorethepouncer on November 24th, 2004 12:07 pm (UTC)
I went through an obsessive SG-1 phase a couple of years ago, and still read in the fandom. I put together show information and recs for a friend who had just gotten into it.

And yay FatF! I adore the gritty sex.
jellybeans and bloodspatterswear_jar on November 23rd, 2004 08:40 pm (UTC)
I don't remember if I've said this, but I love your recs. Thank you for the effort you put into writing these up.
tried to eat the safe banana: The world is my fandomthefourthvine on November 23rd, 2004 11:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much. Comments like this make me so happy, especially when it's from someone who hasn't commented before. So - any fandoms you're into, especially? LJ is being difficult, so I can't check your profile or anything right now.
jellybeans and bloodspatterswear_jar on November 25th, 2004 02:05 am (UTC)

You don't have to feel obliged to do any recs... but I am a bit obsessed with Oz at the moment (I think you did one rec a while back, yay).
tried to eat the safe banana: The world is my fandomthefourthvine on November 27th, 2004 04:43 pm (UTC)
I've done a Fandoms I Have Loved for Oz; it doesn't have as many recs as I normally put in those, 'cause I was having a hard time finding ones that seemed like gateway stories, but there are a few in there. I've also recommended some other stories, but, unfortunately, I don't keep my memories in order by fandoms mentioned, so I can't link to those entries. However, I can tell you that I've recommended (in addition to the FIHL stories):

Pattern Recognition

Of course, if you're in the fandom, you've certainly read all these; they're classics.

As it happens, though, I have a metric ton of other stories in queue to recommend, because I have an unhealthy love for this fandom. On that topic - do you have any recs for me?
jellybeans and bloodspatter: TTPIRswear_jar on November 27th, 2004 07:54 pm (UTC)
After the last comment I posted I went 'oh, duh, maybe she did a fandom thingy for Oz' and went and looked (yup, slow on the uptake I am).

The only one I haven't read is Poison, which omg, off to read rightnow. Thank you!

Okay, well. Recs. The thing is, when it comes to most fic I generally only read recs (and very rarely something I stumble across accidentally). So I'd say anything I've loved you'd have seen already, but I'll see if anything comes to mind… erm, sorry if it’s something you’ve actually recced before! Knowing my memory, there’s bound to be at least one thing.

Anatomy of a Shanking by actizera (which I suppose you’ve probably read, being that you recced Pattern Recognition up there).

23 Leroy Street by Dorilon. (It’s a WIP that is totally dead, last update was August last year. I don’t know what your pollicy on WIPs is, but this one is good. Also: AU. I don’t read many Oz AU’s).

Actually, everything by her is rec worthy, imho.

Chrysalis by geneticallydead (who I just friended. Wow. Holy fucking OUCH and wow. I wish I wrote like this.)
goatgoat003 on November 23rd, 2004 09:19 pm (UTC)
tried to eat the safe banana: Kiss methefourthvine on November 23rd, 2004 11:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I've modified the entry accordingly.
Empress of All I Survey: Monica 2gornishka on November 24th, 2004 10:40 am (UTC)
And, of course, alcohol-fueled gay, gay sex. Thank god for tradition, I say.

Everybody say, Amen. Of course, I can't exactly give thanks, but I can put it on my wishlist.

Damn you, you've made me think positive thoughts regarding Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. Hell has indeed frozen over, and pigs are winging across its arctic expanse. And you've sucked me into Stargate fandom (or at least astolat's corner thereof). You are the High Priest of Smut, and I grovel unworthily at your feet.
flyingtapesflyingtapes on November 24th, 2004 12:28 pm (UTC)
Reveille is my favorite SG1 story ever, hands down. I love it very, very much.
I Wanna Dress You Up In My Snark: jon/stephen pizzaadjectivegirl on November 24th, 2004 03:46 pm (UTC)
because, really, sometimes I think all slash characters have platelet disorders or something - put to good use.

Hee. Hee hee hee. I think that's why Draco and Harry are wildly irresistable as dramatis personae because their "milky skin" can get harmed oh! so easily.
tried to eat the safe banana: Greek to methefourthvine on November 27th, 2004 04:49 pm (UTC)
You're probably right about that.

Someday I intend to do a poll asking people if they, personally, have ever been bruised by someone's fingers or hands during sex (not, obviously, during spanking or other BDSM play), just because - am I the only person who has never had that happen? I mean, yes, I've given people bruises and been given bruises, but never just by gripping. And while I am not fair-skinned, I have had sex with some incredibly fair-skinned people.

Just one of the many strangely detailed and invasive questions FF has given me the urge to ask people. Ah, FF, how I love thee, but how twisted thou hast made me.
dvornik deluxe: kriskikriski on November 25th, 2004 05:17 am (UTC)
hi. *waves* i noticed you friended me. even though i don't write fanfiction. not at the moment anyway. but looking through your journal, i think it will definitely be a useful addition to my own friends and reading list, since i am lazy and uninformed. getting recs from a variety of fandoms delivered right to my LJ is so practical! cheers.
tried to eat the safe banana: I sleep with computers.thefourthvine on November 27th, 2004 04:52 pm (UTC)
Actually, I friended you because of your vid, which I really liked and intend to rec in a vid post someday; I wanted to be sure I knew about any forthcoming vids. (Probably I should update my info page to mention vids as well as FF.)

In any case, I'm glad you're finding my LJ useful. And glad you're here.

*waves happily*
dvornik deluxekriski on November 28th, 2004 08:29 am (UTC)
wow, thank you!

there might be a change in both the link and the filename by then. because the current way of distribution is not very convenient. but if i do swap things around, i'll make a note of it in my LJ.

i am learning about making songvids. something new every day. and already i want to go back and not make some mistakes i made with that vid. only, i am so heartily sick of that song by now, it'll be a while until i can. also, i AM working on another vid right now. the technical nitty-gritty details of decoding/encoding the final video are nervewrecking.
EmHen: obsession [literati]emhen on December 20th, 2004 11:55 am (UTC)
I got to this journal through the O11 website - love it, by the way, haven't read it though because of school, although it did make me rewatch O11 - and I was inexplicably drawn to Reveille, even though I've watched maybe 15 minutes total of SG1. It was amazing. I love it. I will now be lurking around SciFi Channel to see reruns. Also, I have friended you.