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09 January 2005 @ 09:15 am
Slashy Nominations 104: First Things First  
Well. It's raining. And I know that now is when all of you who live in parts of the world where they have actual climactic variation fall over laughing, but the thing is, we here in Los Angeles are not accustomed to precipitation, or indeed weather of any kind. Our freeways aren't accustomed to it, and end up covered in mud and (this is true) squid. Our dogs aren't accustomed to it, and refuse to go out. Our ants aren't accustomed to it, and try to come in.

I'm kind of liking it, but only because a) I have some kind of disease that causes me to sleep fifteen hours a day and blink slowly most of the rest of the time, so the rain counts as high entertainment and b) I don't have to go out in it today. Tomorrow, I'll be on the freeway with the mud and the squid and the ants, and it won't be fun.

So. It's raining. I may or not have a fever, but I definitely don't have the energy to get the thermometer and find out. My dogs are staring miserably at the rain and then at me, wondering why I don't do something about all that water falling from the sky. Clearly the time has come for comfort fic, and what is more comfortable and familiar and sweet than a good first time story? Nothing, that's what.

Best FF That Introduces the Most Boring People in the Universe. Yes, More Boring Than Congresspeople, Economics Professors, and Golf Commentators Combined. Buoyancy, by keiko_kirin. Stargate SG-1, Jack O'Neill/Daniel Jackson. Keiko Kirin shows us the dullest civilization ever created by human beings here; they make an effective, if beige-colored, backdrop for Jack and Daniel and their explorations of gay bars, P4R-951, and, eventually, each other. Daniel proves he speaks the language of bar pickups as well as he speaks Goa'uld. Jack proves that he's still in touch with his inner adolescent. They both prove they love each other exactly as much as we all suspected (well, those of us who have never seen the canon, anyway.) For me, the second half is what makes the story - as I've pretty much proved by summarizing mostly the second half - but the whole thing is well worth reading. Keiko really showcases her skill at pacing, here; she sets a slow and deliberate pace and keeps it compelling. What she does - moving two plots at a chosen speed and paying attention to both of them - is not easy, and it's not something you see that often in fan fiction. Seriously, almost everything she's written since 2001 is worth reading as a lesson in pacing alone, and "Buoyancy" is no exception. Of course, you shouldn't let that distract you from the first-time sex. No, the first read should be all about the sex. And the Museum of Advances in Automated Accounting, which makes the semester I spent learning electrochemistry from the most monotonic man on the planet look fun.

Best FF in Which Danny and Casey Have a Close Encounter with the Antichrist, Which, Naturally, Causes Them to Have Sex. The First Move, by Sinead, aka smallbeer. Sports Night, Dan Rydell/OFC, Dan Rydell/Casey McCall. Anyone who is looking for instructions on how to make an original female character who is perfect in every way and yet not a Mary Sue should definitely read this. She's not only perfect; she's a deus ex machina, she's dating Danny, and her linen dresses don't wrinkle, but somehow she is not a Mary Sue. This is impressive, folks. Of course, you aren't expected to like her, either. Casey sure doesn't, although that's mostly because he's undergoing that course of unexpected discovery that ends with two previously heterosexual men having sex on the floor of their office. (Or, in other fandoms, in the supply cabinet, the Captain's quarters, the Fortress of Solitude, a prison cell, the Astronomy Tower, etc.) So fear not the OFC: she isn't as bad as you think, and she gets them together in the end. What more can we ask of our women?

Best FF That Provides a Measurable Increase in the Reader's Sense of Comfort and Peace Even Though It Refers to (Yurk) the Elder Kents Having (Yeeurgh) Intimate Relations. Cover Us With Song, by weirdnessmagnet. D.C. Universe (Teen Titans), Kon-El (Superboy)/Tim Drake (Robin III, and, um, maybe V? I don't know. I haven't been able to face anything Robin-related since the events of a certain unnamed universe-altering crossover event). There's something so agreeably retro about this story. I can't even tell you what, exactly; I mean, I'm fairly sure the 1950s weren't full of stories about teenaged superheroes having explicit gay sex on the lawn. And yet the retroness (Retrocity? Retroism?) is definitely there. And there's something weirdly innocent about this story, even though, yeah, that's a word we don't usually see going hand-in-hand with the aforementioned explicit gay sex. But it's just - farm boys, and picnics, and studying trig. It's so sweet and retro that, reading this, I keep expecting Kon to give Tim his class ring and Tim to give Kon his letter jacket. And then go out for malts. (I'm thinking Kon would get vanilla because that's honestly his favorite flavor, and Tim would get chocolate because studies show that that is the favorite flavor of 64% of normal high school boys; his actual favorite flavor is raspberry-lime, but only as Alfred makes it.) Definitely comfort reading. Yay for fannish comfort.

Best FF That I Will Definitely Cite As a Reason Not to Have Cable (Assuming the Discovery Channel Is Cable) the Next Time They Try to Sell It to Me. No, Really, I Will. If It's a Telemarketer, I Might Even Read Him the First Part. First, by Ardent, aka ardent_muses. Due South, Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski. What, you thought I'd do a set of comfort fics and not include a dS story? Clearly, you're thinking of some other idiosyncratic multi-fandom recommender, because when I think comfort, I think about Mounties and Chicago cops engaging in sodomy. And this story - well, it's sweet, but that's what comfort fic is all about, right? Not an angst particle in sight. There's mention of reticulated giraffes, though, and some speculation that I hope is libel about where Fraser gets his sex instruction. And there's a first line that will make my "Top Ten Reasons I Love DS" list, should I ever write it, because there just aren't many fandoms in which a story could reasonably begin after the candy cane factory explosion, and there are hardly any in which the characters could spend the first section covered in candy cane syrup without any explanation whatsoever. Only in dS do we just let that sort of thing go right on by. Because, let's face it, weirder things happen all the time in the canon - no, they do, and I'm not going to tell you to watch said canon again. Or, actually, I am, but I'm not going to go on and on about it. Instead, I will say that this story rates unusually high on the comfortmeter even in this very comforting fandom. And then I will wave cheerfully and go off to take yet another nap. G'night, all!

[Super Secret Bonus for dS Fans! Limited Time Only!]
the opposite of batmanpearl_o on January 9th, 2005 01:03 pm (UTC)
because when I think comfort, I think about Mounties and Chicago cops engaging in sodomy.

That is both beautiful and true.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on January 10th, 2005 05:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on January 10th, 2005 12:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
Imaginary Researcher: reader -_glitterdollhannahrorlove on January 9th, 2005 01:03 pm (UTC)
There are some lists of yours where I can't read any of the stories because I know none of the fandoms. Sometimes it's just one. In this case, it was "Cover Us With Song." Thanks for pointing it out to me, as I'd never have found it on my own.

(Say, have you seen The Prophecy yet?)
tried to eat the safe banana: Huh?thefourthvine on January 10th, 2005 05:32 am (UTC)
I have indeed seen The Prophecy. I am ready for fic recs. Because I am brave.

My opinion? Well, I tell you truthfully that this is not the ideal movie to watch during the aftermath of an epinephrine shot. And I was hindered by a desire to smack the teacher. (Her oh-so-professional attire. Her apparent cheerful acceptance of sick homeless men fondling a student. Her transport of said student in her private vehicle when the child was sick, which left me wincing and waiting for the liability lawyers to show up.)

But slashy? Why, yes, when Lucifer was present; there were times when I thought he and Gabriel were going to start ripping at each other's clothes and having bitey bitey sex. I mean, OK, the man is only on screen for about ten minutes, but he manages to pack gallons of slash into every single second. (That whole "little Tommy Dagget" speech. Not to mention the fondling and full-body ass-to-crotch contact. Basically, he acted like he was trying to crawl into the clothes of every single person he shared screen time with - except, of course, the female; with her he acted like he had to maintain a statutory ten foot distance at all times.)

In short, it was entertaining. And if I ever put together a "Slashy Highlights" DVD, every second of Lucifer's appearance will be on there.
(no subject) - hannahrorlove on January 10th, 2005 09:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
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tried to eat the safe banana: Drawthefourthvine on January 10th, 2005 05:34 am (UTC)
'Tis indeed a lovely story, chock full o' comfort and joy. Also giraffes. (My one-line summary for the recs database mostly focuses on the giraffes and the candy canes, which makes me blink every time I go past it.) But, you know, you're right - Ardent is under-rec'd, especially for this fandom, because we're all insane recommenders 'round here.

Well, glad I did my part to redress the balance.
(no subject) - ardent_muses on January 17th, 2005 09:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Innocent Bystanderfiresprite1105 on January 9th, 2005 03:21 pm (UTC)
...because when I think comfort, I think about Mounties and Chicago cops engaging in sodomy.

Funny, so do I. ;D

*scampers off to read*
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV brownthefourthvine on January 10th, 2005 05:37 am (UTC)
Apparently we all do. I think we're on to one of those subconscious archetypes Jung was always on about. Probably just as well he didn't find out about that in his lifetime, though.
I made this beat with my panflute and my keyboardjanet_carter on January 9th, 2005 04:23 pm (UTC)
because when I think comfort, I think about Mounties and Chicago cops engaging in sodomy.

I join what seems to be 80% of your readers in agreeing.

Mmm, comforting first time stories. I needed that today. Thanks, and hope you feel better tomorrow!
Iphiginia Saberhagen: My avatarfanofall on January 9th, 2005 08:24 pm (UTC)
I don't know if she HAS readers that don't read due South (and consider it to be their woobie fandom). :-D
(no subject) - thefourthvine on January 10th, 2005 05:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - fanofall on January 10th, 2005 07:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on January 10th, 2005 05:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
guitargirl81guitargirl81 on January 9th, 2005 05:39 pm (UTC)
Well. It's raining. And I know that now is when all of you who live in parts of the world where they have actual climactic variation fall over laughing, but the thing is, we here in Los Angeles are not accustomed to precipitation, or indeed weather of any kind. Our freeways aren't accustomed to it, and end up covered in mud and (this is true) squid. Our dogs aren't accustomed to it, and refuse to go out. Our ants aren't accustomed to it, and try to come in.
Atlanta seems to have the same reaction to weather. Well, minus the squid.

because when I think comfort, I think about Mounties and Chicago cops engaging in sodomy.Hee.
tried to eat the safe banana: Robinvinethefourthvine on January 10th, 2005 05:43 am (UTC)
Wait. I thought you people in the South actually had humidity and so on. I thought you could cope with weather!

Dammit, my geographical stereotypes are shattered again.
(Deleted comment)
Iphiginia Saberhagen: My Fandom shamefanofall on January 9th, 2005 08:25 pm (UTC)
Oh, God, you should TOTALLY read SportsNight! And love it! And write fic in it! And find others to write fic in it! It's the best canon fandom ever.
(no subject) - thefourthvine on January 10th, 2005 05:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
erjika: Aubrey/Maturin musicerjika on January 9th, 2005 07:49 pm (UTC)
The idea that "San Diego" and "flooding" can be combined in a sentence is still a very new thing to me.

And as others have mentioned, I am now reading Sports Night, so thank you, O Bearer of Bountiful Recs!
Iphiginia Saberhagen: Procurator Generalfanofall on January 9th, 2005 08:26 pm (UTC)
YAY more SportsNight!

[Sorry. It's my very favorite fandom, and so I get so excited when others start to read it.]
(no subject) - thefourthvine on January 10th, 2005 05:53 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - erjika on January 10th, 2005 09:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Iphiginia Saberhagenfanofall on January 10th, 2005 09:45 am (UTC)
I sent you e-mail. Please let me know if you didn't receive it. It is of the utmost (non-fannish) importance, which means I don't really know where that rates. ;-)
khaleesiankhaleesian on January 10th, 2005 12:51 pm (UTC)
My dear idiosyncratic multi-fandom recommender, I've been remiss in telling you just how much I appreciate you and your stellar sense of humor...I see I'm going to have to tell you this a lot. I don't know what I enjoy more...the witty observations or the delicious recs. Mmmmmm. You spoil us.
aliquid stat pro aliquomaygra on January 10th, 2005 06:18 pm (UTC)
All the comforts of home. We have no rain, and it's ridiculously sunny here, but this weekend promises to be cold and more normal.

Yay for the d/s snd Sportsnight fic I hadn't read.
(And so sorry you are under the weather, both literally and figuatively.)

I'm practicing avoidance so I'm grateful for the recs.
the obvious childdylant on January 10th, 2005 11:36 pm (UTC)
Don't know if you've gotten ahold of this yet, but it's a great, great Danny/Rusty (Ocean's Eleven) fic (http://www.livejournal.com/users/keiko_kirin/3260.html), and I know you like 'em.
renquise: impulse hugrenquise on January 12th, 2005 03:32 pm (UTC)
Mmm, thank you for prompting me to re-read "Cover Us With Song." So much cute. And hot.

Also, to follow up on the Ocean's Eleven rec above, I'd like to rec this one: A Sno-Ball's Chance in Hell. Absolutely hilarious.

And by the same author, a due South fic: It's Like This Old Inuvit Story I Know. Equally as amusing.

Thank you for providing such great recs, by the way. ^^ *has been lurking for awhile*
a little specificity: typewritersinensiss on January 21st, 2005 10:37 pm (UTC)
(sorry, let me try that again.)

When, as a newbie, I posted that story to the Sports Night slash list, I did so with the note, "I SWEAR she's not a Mary Sue," so great was my fear that the OFC would be misinterpreted. I'm glad to know that remains clear. *g*

I'm never quite sure about the etiquette of this, but I'm grateful, so I wanted to say thanks for reccing my stuff. And even more thanks for all of your other recs; they entertain and beguile.
(Anonymous) on February 1st, 2005 05:41 pm (UTC)
broken link - buoyancay
Uhm, I think the link you used for Buoyancy is broken

Here is Keiko Kirin's site:


and this one seems to work: