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19 February 2005 @ 07:07 pm
Slashy Nominations 107: Perverse Discipline Is Your Natural Taste  
(Note: I know full well that I have evilly, evilly misquoted a deceased Great American strongly associated with the Jazz Age. You know what? I suffered agonies with certain of his works in middle school, so if he wants to come back from the dead to whine about my misuse of his noble words, well, he'll have to work pretty damn hard to get a word in edgewise, is all I'm saying. Never trust a man who uses his first initial and his middle name, that's my motto, even if he did write some excellent short stories.)

You know, it is wonderful to have internet access again. You can't imagine how much I missed y'all. Hello, fan fiction! Hello, LiveJournal! Hello, diverse and distributed community of like-minded perverts! And, yes, you'd better actually be a pervert if you read anything in this set, because I have here some fine, full-bodied kinkfic. (If you weren't here for the first kink set, you should know that I call it kink if the author does, because one person's perversion is another person's mandatory, basic part of any act more intimate than holding hands.)

Best FF in Which a Character Takes a Pop Quiz and Does Really, Really Well. But We'd Expect Nothing Else of Brian O'Conner, King of Fast Thinking on the Fly (and Yes, the Pun Was Entirely Intentional). Generally Psychotic Behavior, by khaleesian. The Fast and the Furious, Brian O'Conner/Dom Toretto. Any fandom with a character named 'Dom' gets extra kink-points right off the bat, but trust me, TFATF didn't even need those to break the curve on the perv-o-meter. Really. Those of us who love this fandom (And we are a small but select and tasteful bunch. Given certain definitions of 'tasteful.') love it in part for its kink-friendliness - nay, kink-required-ness. For some reason, these guys really want to be in stories about, oh, oxygen deprivation. Just as an example, and a highly cogent one, given that that is in fact what this story is all about. It's a cheery little PWP, and while it will help to have seen the movie - or, at any rate, one scene in the movie, one that involves motor oil, lube hose, eavesdropping, and men clad in leather (perhaps you're beginning to see why this movie cries out for kinky slash?) - but, really, the only absolute prerequisite for this one is a certain mental flexibility. Read. Enjoy. And if you really enjoy it, well, there's a movie I think you might wanna watch.

Best FF Featuring an Author Warning That Makes You Want to Pass a Law Against Puns. Or Maybe Embrace the Author Heartily. Me, I Go Both Ways on That, but Then, Don't I Always? On the QT, by The Spike, aka spike21. L.A. Confidential, Bud White/Ed Exley, sort of. Fan fiction: pushing boundaries. Including, inevitably, some that probably shouldn't be pushed. But you know what? I totally don't think this story falls under that heading. See, kink works best in FF when it's used to say something about the characters or the world they live in. (And, yes, for the record, I do know it doesn't work this way in real life; we don't all have poetically apt kinks. But this is one of those times when fiction doesn't mimic reality, folks, and we should all be happy about that, because if that was reality just imagine what kinks we'd have.) In this story, watersports* work perfectly as a metaphor - and, no, I'm not going to get all English-major-y, I swear - for the way Exley and White are at the beginning of the movie. In fact, I suspect that you could read this story without having seen said movie and get a very solid picture of both guys and their early relationship, such as it is. That's the reason I consider this the best w/s FF I've read to date. (Of course I've read others. This is fan fiction, people.)

Best FF to Use the Highly Disturbing Phrase "Kinky SoloFlex Commercials." And, No, That Isn't the Kink Here; Do You Think I'm Some Kind of Sicko? The Other Half, by Anna S., aka eliade. Stargate SG-1, Jack O'Neill/Daniel Jackson. Ah, slave kink. Traditional, tried-and-true - a kink classic, if you will. Take some submission, throw in a soupçon of dominance - or, hell, a whole handful - and accessorize. But, as always, Anna S. does way, way more than that; this is a fantastic story. I know a lot of people hate first-person narrative, but when it's well done, as it is here, I love it. Notice how many little one-liners we get, how much sarcasm she packs into this text. (It helps that she's using Jack's voice, of course. I imagine General Hammond's wouldn't be quite the same.) And first-person is the best way to get a single character's take on the events, provided the narrator is reliable, and I think the Jack we have here is, aside from the whole Daniel-as-U.S.-President-with-Added-Sodomy mental image thing. (No, really, and I'm pretty sure you won't mind that as much as you're currently imagining. Of course, I think most governmental processes could be improved with added sodomy, so maybe I'm not the best person to ask.) This story is so good that it can take a concept I normally can't handle - slavery, my friends, is not my own personal kink, not at all - and make me love it. Well, I'm used to Anna doing that to me. Hell, I wish she'd do more of it.

Best FF That Reminds Us That We Should All Be Grateful for Sundays, and Make Full and Excellent Use of Them. Of Course, That Use Doesn't Have to Involve a Mountie; the Choice Is Yours. Sharp-Dressed Man, by Zahra, aka hackthis. Due South, Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski. I have a lot of dS kink in my database, because I have a lot of dS everything in my database. (Because it is a wonderful fandom, wonderful, and also - oh joy! - a wonderful canon. Thanks again, nigeltde.) But after long consideration (And, in fact, a debate with Best Beloved that lasted for most of a meal; remember this the next time someone tells you the dinner conversation isn't scintillating at casa thefourthvine.), I went with this, because Mountie suit kink is, like, the core kink of this fandom. Or one of them; it's a big fandom, after all. You could fill a medium-sized convention center just with people who have kinks about various parts of Callum Keith Rennie's anatomy, and I'm talking here strictly about the bits of his anatomy that you can see on TV. But there's something essential about the Mountie suit fixation in dS, and there's sure as shit something essential about it in dS FF; you don't want to know what size convention center you could fill with people who know way more than they probably should about getting Mounties out of their full-dress uniforms in record time. (I imagine Mounties live in fear of encountering dS fans. "She's taking an extreme close-up picture of your lanyard, Dougie." "Yeah, but it's not that that worries me. It's that she's salivating.") So, dragging myself back to the story: Ray has a Mountie suit kink. Fraser is, as always, understanding, courteous, and helpful. I'm telling you, this story works as a metaphor for the dS fandom as a whole. Provided, that is, that you've been way overexposed to Mountie Red #6, or whatever they call that dye.

-Footnote-

* I think this is probably an unnecessary footnote. If you don't know what watersports are, I'm guessing you've only been reading FF, period, for about two weeks max, because after a few months, FF readers become more familiar with kinks than sex advice columnists. (After a few years, we're more familiar with most aspects of sex than the authors of The Joy of Gay Sex - way more, in fact, because we'd never consider including a chapter on bestiality in a book of that title. Consider yourself warned. Unless it's already too late for you.) So if you're new here, maybe you'll want to wait a bit on some of these stories. But if you're determined to read them now, today, know that watersports, aka golden showers, urophilia, and urolagnia, mix urine and sex to the pleasure of all participants. The reader's pleasure mileage will, of course, vary.
 
 
 
aliquid stat pro aliquomaygra on February 19th, 2005 07:33 pm (UTC)
YAY! you're back.
Just wanted to say that. Missed you terribly.
tried to eat the safe banana: Kiss methefourthvine on February 20th, 2005 11:45 am (UTC)
Re: YAY! you're back.
Yay indeed yay. Lord have I missed this place. Did MMWD explain the Soul-Sucking Saga of Telephones, Telecommunications Companies, and Cell Phone trauma?

Oh, and I have 16 done; everything went dead and gone before I could send it back to you, though. Still want it?

(P.S. The Top Secret Air Force thing is actually sort of working!)
aliquid stat pro aliquomaygra on February 20th, 2005 05:16 pm (UTC)
Re: YAY! you're back.
She did indeed tell me about the technology meltdown. (pets the vine, waters and feeds it.)

I would love to have it back, actually. shine it up and replace the semi-perm posting.

Top Secret...I'm having bad Val Kilmer flash backs

But Air Force!! and it should be in my hands by now, don't you think?

:::shameless nudging :::
captain heteroknowledgeablenotpoetry on February 19th, 2005 07:37 pm (UTC)
Of course, I think most governmental processes could be improved with added sodomy, so maybe I'm not the best person to ask

...perhaps you should poke around in The West Wing fandom. There is plenty of sodomy sprinkled amongst government processes.

(Same guy who wrote Sports Night! c'mon, you know you love the snark. *tempts*)
tried to eat the safe banana: Love writingthefourthvine on February 20th, 2005 11:48 am (UTC)
I know Sorkin was behind WW, so I've tried - really - to get into the fandom. I've read WW works by my favorite SN writers and everything. But I just...I can't *get* there. I can't get any sense of the characters, basically, and that's a huge problem in a non-canon FF foray.

I've heard it said that you have to know the canon to get WW FF, and I'm afraid that that might be true. Which sucks, because I purely love the Sorkinvoice. (And because sodomy + politics is, like, a home-from-home for me.)
Taz: CKRporntazical on February 20th, 2005 05:56 am (UTC)
I went with this, because Mountie suit kink is, like, the core kink of this fandom. Or one of them; it's a big fandom, after all. You could fill a medium-sized convention center just with people who have kinks about various parts of Callum Keith Rennie's anatomy, and I'm talking here strictly about the bits of his anatomy that you can see on TV.
Ah ha ha! I'm quoting that. *g*
tried to eat the safe banana: Everybody wants a rockthefourthvine on February 20th, 2005 12:09 pm (UTC)
Ah ha ha! I'm quoting that.

Ooo! Thank you.

(I keep waiting for the person with a CKR collarbone fetish to show up. I know, or know of, people who lust after his hands, his arms, his mouth, his ass, his legs, his thighs, his feet, his eyes, and his face as a whole, but the collarbone is still unclaimed to the best of my knowledge.

Also still available: ears. And, um...gee. There's just not a whole lot of visible CKR left to perv on that doesn't already have a huge panting fanbase attached to it. (And, wow, was that last one a candidate for Scariest Sentence Ever Written or what?))
Taztazical on February 20th, 2005 12:13 pm (UTC)
the collarbone is still unclaimed to the best of my knowledge.

I'll take it!

::stamps with property of sticker::
(Deleted comment)
Iphiginia Saberhagen: Celtiknot: fanofall on February 20th, 2005 10:41 am (UTC)
I MISSED YOU!!!
I'm so glad you're back. Stupid phone. Stupid internet. *kicks phone lines*

And YAY! Ray and Benton!
tried to eat the safe banana: I've been badthefourthvine on February 20th, 2005 12:11 pm (UTC)
Re: I MISSED YOU!!!
Nooooooo! Don't kick the phone lines! They are sensitive souls, easily wounded, and when they're wounded they shut down. And I can't survive another internetless week so soon after the last one; as it is, I'm only with the greatest of difficulty restraining myself from spamming my flist, just because I can.

(I am happy happy happy to be back, and to see you all, and I've got an email in progress to you; I was halfway through my response when everything died, and I sort of fell victim to Internet Withdrawal-Related Apathy. So, anyway, expect an email from me tomorrowish.)
Iphiginia Saberhagenfanofall on February 20th, 2005 03:34 pm (UTC)
Re: I MISSED YOU!!!
OKAY!!! MWAH!!! (Sorry, phone lines. I didn't mean it. I love you most of all.)
tried to eat the safe banana: Big eyesthefourthvine on February 20th, 2005 12:12 pm (UTC)
Re: I MISSED YOU!!!
P.S. That icon? Is hysterical. I love it.
Iphiginia Saberhagenfanofall on February 20th, 2005 03:36 pm (UTC)
Re: I MISSED YOU!!!
I ganked it from celtiknot, from a site to which norah directed me because I had no due South icons AT ALL.

CRACKED me up.
Oceana: CSI Miami heatoceana_ on February 21st, 2005 07:56 am (UTC)
If you don't know what watersports are, I'm guessing you've only been reading FF, period, for about two weeks max, because after a few months, FF readers become more familiar with kinks than sex advice columnists.

*lol*
That is so true. I remember how I had to talk my way out of explaining to my friends that Deep Throat was not just an informant on the x-files, and that's fairly harmless considered to other things I learned via slash.Nowadays, I pretend to be innocent when it comes to everything sex, because I can't tell anymore what kind of knowledge about gay sex a mostly straight girl should reasobly have. Kind a like "You mean there are people who don't know what rimming is?"
Imaginary Researcher: smile (movie unknown) - ulanderhannahrorlove on February 21st, 2005 01:31 pm (UTC)
I've never seen The Fast and the Furious, but I'm now pondering a crossover between it and Crash. As I have no desire to see Vin Diesel, I'll probably never write it.