tried to eat the safe banana (thefourthvine) wrote,
tried to eat the safe banana

Poll: Come with Me

It's time to discuss a very sensitive topic that I know you will all handle with maturity and respect for your classmates. Yes, it's time to discuss...orgasm.

I heard that, norah. One more remark out of you and you will be staying after class, young lady. Also, fanofall? Don't think I don't see you rolling your eyes.

Yes, orgasm can be a beautiful thing. When a person (or assistive device) gives pleasure to another person, that's a lovely, selfless act, and one we - last warning, people - as mature adults can appreciate. Or mature teenagers. Whatever. 'People old enough for porn' is the concept I'm trying to get across here.

Of course, orgasm can also be, well, a little less than beautiful. Particularly in certain kinds of fictional endeavors. Because, see, sometimes a person can be reading along, and then there's a sudden incursion of screaming and fainting and smelling salts and Mr. Darcy with a riding crop, and that person might think, "Did I just take a detour from Smut Boulevard onto Victorian Novel Lane? I didn't know you could do that in spats." Or that person might think, "Jesus, what the hell is wrong with me? I've never done that."

And yet I know some of you out there in readerland have done that, and now is the time to tell me about it.

I'm trying to assuage my own fears of serious abnormality, here. (Yes, really. Well, mostly. Well, partly, anyway. But I also tend to assume anyone I can hear laughing is laughing at me. I never said I wasn't paranoid, if you think back.) I'm also trying to figure out how often these things honestly happen, and under what circumstances. (Because I am nosy. No, there is no better reason. What reason could be better than that?) So let's remember the honor system, OK?

And, truly, no shame attached, no matter what you answer. For one thing, I included in the list items I could answer 'yes' to, and I'm not going to tell you what they were. (Well, OK. Possibly with begging. The right kind of begging. But then, the right kind of begging can get pretty much anything from me.) This should encourage those of you who can answer 'yes' to any of these to believe I'm right there with you, just in case you forgot to bring your sex-positive confidence with you today. And since I can't answer 'yes' to all or even most of them, people who can't check anything should also believe they're in good company. (You can decide for yourself if I count as good company or not.) Furthermore, no one can see your answers, and you should feel free to comment anonymously. Internet + sex + anonymity is pretty much the recipe for sharing, isn't it? So share.

(Which also means, for the record, that if you folks want to pimp this I'd be grateful. I definitely want to hear from all of you, but it'd also be very cool to get answers from people other than the Egregiously Tasteful and Talented Cohort.)

Poll #513074 Yes. Yes! YES!

During an orgasm, have you ever:

Fainted? (Or, for Stargate: Atlantis fans, passed out?)
Had your vision white out completely? (Blackouts and spots don't count, people. Precision is the heart of any scientific endeavor.)
Had an out-of-body experience? (Tell me where you went in the comments!)
Screamed? (And no high-volume substitutes can be accepted here; I mean, girl-in-a-Hitchcock-movie scream.)
Said (shouted, moaned, whispered, gasped, orated, hissed, wailed, howled, declaimed) your partner's name?
Or, hell, anyone's name? (Comment and tell me whose!) (People named 'Oooooo' and 'Ah, ah, ah' don't count, for the record.)
Cried (sobbed)? (Real tears required. They can be tears of joy, of course. If you're bent that way.)
Been attentive enough to continue a first-person narrative, including trenchant details of what your partner is doing? (If so, will you have sex with me? Answer in the comments.)
Been distracted enough that you had a reality lapse longer than five minutes? (If so, you might wanna go back and take another look at the first ticky box. Or google passive seizures.)
Achieved simultaneity with your partner without trying?
Engaged in other orgasm behavior common in fan fiction, which you will of course tell me all about in the comments?
Uh, is "insufficient data" an option, here?

When was the last time you had an orgasm? (Company not required.)

Within the last hour. (You're an orgasm overachiever! And I want you to know that I am incredibly proud of you right now.)
Within the last day. (Yay sex! Or other means of achieving orgasm! Or just yay orgasms might be a better way to put it!)
Within the last week. (Had a good weekend, did you?)
Within the last month. (Only not necessarily last weekend - no, I hear you. No shame intended or implied.)
Is one 'none' or is one 'very little'? Because technically zero should be... (Go have one right now and then retake the poll. Who knows? You might've developed the ability to astrally project since the last time.)
Orgasm? Please. I have small children/a prescription for Zoloft/my parents on the other side of my bedroom wall/other impediment. (Feel free to vent or discuss sublimation techniques in the comments.)

Please answer this one so I know how many people took the poll.

Oh...yes...yes...YES! I'm...taking...YES! YES! Oh my god I love you, poll!
Tags: [poll], [rant]
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