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30 March 2004 @ 12:16 pm
Slashy Nominations 13: Pre-Slashed for Your Convenience  
Yes, it's true. These characters are gay in canon. (I consider gay in canon stories to be slash, mostly because the term is more useful if it covers all gay fan fiction, as opposed to just gay-against-canon fan fiction.)

Best FF That the Canon Author Would Probably Really Have Liked, Assuming He or She Even Existed: Follower, by the oft-nominated Gloria Mundi. The Illiad, Achilles/Patroclus. Troy, when it comes out, may attempt to convince us that Achilles and Patroclus were just good friends, but I, for one, will keep the faith and remember these guys as Homer made them: pure slashy goodness. (Well, in Patroclus' case. Achilles was more like pure slashy whininess.) This story is a short, sad reflection on Achilles' relationship to Patroclus, with both guys very much in character.

Best FF Involving Superheroes as We All Know They're Meant to Be: Gay, in Love, and in Spandex: The Business, by Basingstoke. The Authority, Apollo/Midnighter. All Midnighter wants is one number, but it's the one number none of us can ever have. You don't need to read the comic books to understand this one perfectly. But you probably should read them anyway. It's got gay superheroes. Spandex! Masks! And in-canon groping! What's not to love?

Best FF Featuring a Ewan McGregor Character as the Sane One: Curious, by Jane St. Clair. Velvet Goldmine, Arthur Stuart/Curt Wild. At the end of the movie, we get a glimpse of a much-changed Curt Wild. This story explains the change. Explains a lot about Arthur, too. And, as I said, Curt's the sane one in this. You know an author kicks ass when she can make you believe in the basic mental stability of a character played by McGregor, the God of Neuroses.

Best FF That Explains Why Sometimes It's Best to Skip the Forgiving and Just Forget: As I Went down in the River to Pray, by Halrloprillalar. Greek mythology, and to tell the pairing would spoil the story. Hal changes a bit from the traditional version of this story, but it works even better than the original. And, look, I can't tell you much about this one, obviously, but if you're a myth geek, you'll figure out what this is based on in a few paragraphs and squeal with joy. And if you've never read Greek myths, you'll love it anyway for the unusual, wonderful ending. (Although let me say unto you: read Greek myths. They are the holy grail of canon slashiness.)
nestra on March 31st, 2004 07:47 pm (UTC)
Actually, Troy is going to try and convince us that Achilles and Patroclus were cousins. Hmph.
tried to eat the safe bananathefourthvine on April 1st, 2004 01:11 am (UTC)
My big fear is that ol' Wolfgang is going to try to convince us that Achilles and Patroclus were both In Love with the Same Woman (Briseis, most likely). Because we all know they weren't, you know, lovers or anything; no, all that sexual tension came from sharing a tent with the woman they both loved.

Because two guys having - ew! - intimate relations? No way. Especially not war heroes, because men who have sex with men are all totally limp-wristed pansy boys, right? Wouldn't know a sword if they took one point-first through the groin! No, Achilles and Patroclus were totally straight, and did we mention Briseis? See, there was a chick involved! No homoerotic overtones of any kind! Now stop writing slash about these two and take up knitting or something.
viva_gloria on April 1st, 2004 06:33 am (UTC)
War-Hero Cousins 'Led Astray' By Wicked Foreign Temptress.

"They were the best of mates," recalls their CO, Agamemnon. "But there was never any suggestion of any funny business. Not until that lewd female came along." He declined to comment on the 'inappropriate' behaviour of Achilles after his cousin's death.
tried to eat the safe bananathefourthvine on April 2nd, 2004 11:07 pm (UTC)
Hee, Gloria. This had me laughing and laughing.
Halrloprillalar: hektorprillalar on April 1st, 2004 11:57 pm (UTC)
Hey, thanks so much for the boost! I didn't know anyone ever read that one. *g*
tried to eat the safe bananathefourthvine on April 2nd, 2004 11:02 pm (UTC)
It's seriously one of my favorites of all your stories, and I've read most of them. I think you've done remarkable work there, on several levels, and the fairly loose canon (pun intended) seemed to give you a lot more freedom to be creative. It's rare to see a story that's this simple and this complex, and the whole slow-introduction thing is downright impressive.

In short, I really, really, really like this one. If I beg, will you write more Greek myth fic?
Auburn: Lock The Doorauburnnothenna on April 2nd, 2004 10:18 am (UTC)
Found this through guede_mazaka and now I have to friend you, because recs and snark are like chocolate and money - can't have too much. Well, that and I've read several of the things you recommend and like them.

Now quit slandering poor Achilles and his completely platonic friend Patroclus. The next thing you'll be doing is telling me Alexander the Great was gay.
tried to eat the safe bananathefourthvine on April 2nd, 2004 10:59 pm (UTC)
Well, you know the whole unspeakable-vice-of-the-Greeks thing is completely untrue. Actually, the Greeks abhorred homosexuality - as did, I might add, every other ancient civilization. The idea that they did not was spread during an unusually successful smear campaign against an educated Irish landowner in 1828.

Naturally I would never think of suggesting that Alexander - who was, after all, a great leader and warrior and therefore absolutely incapable of homosexuality - engaged in depraved acts. No one did before 1801, when the whole thing was invented by a Frenchman.

Damn the French.
Auburnauburnnothenna on April 2nd, 2004 11:28 pm (UTC)
Sacre bleu! What about that whole le vice Anglaisthing? Here I thought the perfidious English were behind responsible for it all.

tried to eat the safe bananathefourthvine on April 3rd, 2004 09:10 pm (UTC)
No, nyet, non. It's a filthy French habit; who else could come up with something so very depraved?

You may be thinking of it as an English vice because of poor, slandered Oscar Wilde. He's another total heterosexual whose good name was destroyed by the Queer Revisionists. See, he never had any kind of sexual relationship with a man; he had been fighting with his wife, and he was simply looking for some solid masculine advice on making up with her. (Hint: flowers. Chicks love 'em.) And somehow the press blew* it all out of proportion, and the next thing you know, our dear straight Wilde was being accused of all kinds of filthy things - buggery, sodomy, poetry.

And where did he die? France. See what I mean? It's not so much the French vice as the French conspiracy.

* You have a filthy mind, but you can't help it. It's the fault of the French.
Auburnauburnnothenna on April 3rd, 2004 09:48 pm (UTC)
Spasiba, danke.

Ah, you've cleared up so much for me! Obviously the French have been getting up to all sorts of nefarious business, infiltrating our pristine culture with French fries and French doors and French kissing. Not mention French letters. Only a depraved people would invent such a thing.

Even so, I find it beyond the pale that they should paint any man guilty of the most loathsome practice of all: poetry.

Now I realize the Edward II was another victim of this conspiracy, wasn't he? It was all a French plot. Piers Gaveston was from Gascony, after all. Edward was actually the most manly of men and a notorious womanizer. No king of England could possibly have been (gasp) in love with another fellow. They were really just great mates.