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06 July 2005 @ 02:48 pm
Slashy Nominations 124: After a Voyage, He Hath Strange Places Cramm'd with . . . Something  
I'm doing another travel and transportation set. This is partly, yes, because I have an awful day of accomplishing the impossible (and on a deadline, no less) ahead of me, so I wish I was, in fact, traveling ("Anywhere but here" is my current motto). And it's partly 'cause my head is filled with NASCAR trivia (Note for concerned readers: it's maygra's fault. She is to blame. I am an innocent victim, and am more to be pitied than censured, really.), so I'm all about the cars and the travel these days. But mostly it's because, well - great FF, here.

Best FF That Uses Carnival Terminology to Represent Terror, Which I Firmly Believe It Does and Should, Because Carnivals Are Just Not Right. Flying Blind, by minnow1212. Stargate: Atlantis, gen. I believe I have spoken to you of minnow1212 before. I believe my words were, "read her right now or else you are dead to me." Consider this another warning for those of you who have resisted her fan-fic-alicious wiles. (No, I did not just type the most hideous, unspeakable non-word ever, the veritable Cthulhu of language. If you see such a thing on your screen, it is a reflection of the darkness in your soul, so don't come shrieking to me.) Read her works, or the next time you're up late and you can't sleep and you're making sad little noises about not having anything good to read? Well, there will be mockery. Because none of us has any sympathy for people who ignore great stories like this. (You can relax now; the story summary is actually starting.) Basically, what we have here is an episode we'll never see, because no one who writes for SGA writes this well. (No disrespect to canon intended. This is better, is all.) Flying blind is what the residents of Atlantis do all the time - they head into the dangerous unknown every time they activate the gate or walk into a new part of the city or try to use their computers, for god's sake. And they don't even have any backup to speak of. One of the wonderful parts of the first season is watching how that changed the characters, how they dealt with that - and one of the great parts of the fiction for this fandom is seeing it happen all over again, in more detail than a TV show can provide, with sense and brilliance and just - every word right. As it is in this story.

Best FF That Reminds Us of All Trains Have to Offer, and I Am Most Definitely Thinking of That Jolting Rhythm, Here. The Train Job, by brooklinegirl. Due South, Ray Kowalski/Benton Fraser. I recently had an unpleasant experience on a train, and let me tell you, there was no gay sex at all on that thing. So I had to turn to this story to remind me that, hey, trains aren't all bad - they're the only form of transportation that sometimes comes with a built-in bed. (Well, I mean, OK, RVs and some semis, but I can't think of any RV or semi-based sex in FF. Which is a massive, tragic oversight, people. Fix that, please, and I mean soon.) Trust Fraser to get Ray, the original "Why can't we just drive there?" guy, on a train, and trust Ray to make good use of all the amenities of said transportation. Given the massive amounts of trust we can have for these two, is it any wonder we all love due South? (No, really, we do. If you aren't an active dS fan, you're a latent dS fan; there's no such thing as someone who hates dS, or if there is, please don't tell me, because I'll lose all faith in humanity.) And if train sex isn't enough for you, can I draw your attention to the conversation that precedes the sex? Because it is golden. I love Ray's train memories. And I also love that he talks to Fraser to keep him awake, because - talk is Fraser's weapon, and here it is, turned against him! How could you not love this story?

Best FF That Proves That, Yes, There Really Is Something Ever-So-Slightly Dodgy About the Way Flying Superheroes Carry Other People Through the Air. U and Me, by Te, aka thete1. D. C. Universe, Kon-El/Tim Drake. Because, I mean, really. Even the most homophobic comic book artists - and if there are any homophobic comic book artists, have they seen their own work lately? - can't find an entirely innuendo-free way to draw one guy flying in a horizontal position while carrying another guy. (They've got their work cut out for them just keeping said flying guys from looking dorky. There may in fact be some excellent, coolness-related reasons why people don't fly, is what I'm saying here.) Trust Te, queen of all things filled with innuendo and spandex, to make that dodginess rather more, um, explicit. And, while she's at it (because, hey, why not multi-task?), she resolves one of those annoying little problems that crop up in comic books - namely, that no one ever resolves anything. But, hey, that's fine - they probably can't, because, come on; anything these people do is bound to involve gay gay sex, and there's only so much even today's editors will let artists and writers get away with. And I for one am grateful, because without that pesky editorial limitation, we wouldn't have stories like this one, in which the characters resolve their issues by having sex in mid-air. Ah, comic book fandoms, how I love thee.

Best FF That Is, Inevitably, Going to Lead to Me Saying to My Best Beloved, "I Brought You Here for Sex." Let's Hope It's Not in Church or Something. Home from Here, by Merry, aka merryish. Stargate: SG-1, Jack O'Neill/Daniel Jackson. Notice how I very cleverly separated the two Stargate universe stories, so that no one would notice how much I'm recommending them these days. Oh. You noticed anyway? Well, I am not at all sorry, and with stories like this, how could I be? Because, OK, first: best last line ever. I mean that. This story has a last line that made me happy for days the first time I read it, and that still brings me joy on every subsequent reading. And, trust me on this, there have been a lot of subsequent readings, which is especially impressive when you consider that this story was written for the 2005 J/D Ficathon, and thus has only been available for a month. So the real question is, how did we survive this long without it? This is the story of Jack's retirement as it should be - with camels and astronomy and blue jello and sex with Daniel. And if just reading this doesn't make you want to marry the author, or maybe just the story, well, seriously - have you considered getting treatment for your commitment phobia? Because how could you not want to wake up every morning with fiction this good? Or the writer of fiction this good? How could you not love a story in which the main characters break into helpless laughter while trying to have sex? I surely can't resist it, and I just can't imagine how anyone could. I mean: wow. And did I mention: best last line ever?
BUT HARRY STYLES: RAY FRASER MANIP by nicci_macestrella30 on July 6th, 2005 03:02 pm (UTC)
Oh YAY! The Train Job was my bday fic from brooklinegirl last year, so I love it for many, many, MANY reasons. So glad it got recced! Thanks!
tried to eat the safe banana: Moose in bluethefourthvine on July 6th, 2005 05:06 pm (UTC)
What a lucky, lucky woman you are, to inspire such FF. I'd be insanely jealous, except I get to read the story (and rec it) too.

Everybody wins!

*loves on LJ, fandom, estrella30, brooklinegirl, and, oh, just everyone*
(Deleted comment)
tried to eat the safe banana: Moose in pinkthefourthvine on July 6th, 2005 05:10 pm (UTC)
No, no. There's no shame in ranting. Trust me on this. And if passenger rail in Canada is in bad shape, well, someone has to rant, and you're right here and talented and wonderful. And sometimes I think dS fans care more about Canada than any other group in the world, so obviously you chose the right venue.

No, what is shameful is that I'm now violently suppressing the urge to ask you for details about the problems of passenger rail in Canada. I'm not even familiar with passenger rail - assuming we even have such a thing - in the United States, which is where I actually live, and yet now I find myself with an urgent need to know about Canada's trains.

Fandom has broken me. But at least I am in good company.
Destina: eye of horusdestina on July 6th, 2005 03:32 pm (UTC)
I had a looooooooong and mostly OT post here about what constitutes a definitive fan fiction interpretation of events, and then I deleted it all for various reasons, and was left staring at the blank screen. Perhaps I'll send you an email, instead. Must ponder for a while, first. Sorry. Carry on. Don't mind me. *goes back into the cave*
tried to eat the safe banana: Flowerthefourthvine on July 6th, 2005 05:13 pm (UTC)
Ooo. Please do email me, because that sounds seriously interesting.

*eyes cave and seriously considers going in after you*

*realizes that that is a good way to get lost, crushed, or possibly eaten by dragon*

*hovers right around the entrance to cave instead*
Bonethisisbone on July 6th, 2005 03:59 pm (UTC)
(Well, I mean, OK, RVs and some semis, but I can't think of any RV or semi-based sex in FF. Which is a massive, tragic oversight, people. Fix that, please, and I mean soon.)

Um, does Dom and Brian touching mouths in the cramped, hot overhead bed of Rome's Airstream count? Cuz if so, then khaleesian's gone there and almost done that. It was hot enough to count as full-on fucking, IMHO.
tried to eat the safe banana: Sharethefourthvine on July 6th, 2005 05:21 pm (UTC)
Oh my god. I need a link to that story right now. I cannot believe I missed it.

Although this does not entirely alleviate the crying need for RV, semi, or other bed-endowed mode of transportation sex within fandom. Where are the stories about Brian and Dom having sex in a non-functional motorhome Dom's supposed to be fixing? Or Danny and Rusty having sex in a private jet that is transporting them to Bolivia? Or Jim and Blair having sex in the bed in the back of a semi while Jim is undercover as a truck driver?

Surely someone has written these stories. And yet I cannot find them.

*eyes Google warily*
aliquid stat pro aliquomaygra on July 6th, 2005 05:43 pm (UTC)
Not that I'm there yet, in SG, being distracted by other things...but I think there is much RV sex in your future.

I hate writing out of sequence, but I could make an exception.

A scen could sprout fully formed from my subconscious with the proper incentive.
Bonethisisbone on July 6th, 2005 08:08 pm (UTC)
Oh my god. I need a link to that story right now. I cannot believe I missed it.

It's in Rewind, like, the second to last part posted. After the hotter than hot scene where Dom takes an electric razor to Brian's sweaty blond curls in the cramped, hot, teeny tiny bathroom in Rome's Airstream. Are you sensing a trend here? khaleesian knows how to work her some cramped hot spaces, is all I'm saying.

Or Jim and Blair having sex in the bed in the back of a semi while Jim is undercover as a truck driver?

If the bench seat of a pickup on a stakeout will do (and you don't mind personal tooting of the horn), you could read the first part of Territorial Imperative.
ficbyzee on July 6th, 2005 04:21 pm (UTC)
*draws pink sparkly hearts over U and Me once again*

I reread that fic whenever I'm having a bad day. So yummy.
tried to eat the safe banana: Yaythefourthvine on July 6th, 2005 05:25 pm (UTC)
*adds a happy face and an infinity symbol in a restful shade of purple*

And it makes so much sense. I mean, they spend all this time being flown around by random flying superheroes, and they never actually do anything in flight. Well, except for that one time Kitty Pryde went to the bathroom, but I don't think that counts.

*loves comics fandom for filling in the gaps*
minnow1212 on July 6th, 2005 05:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for the rec!

:bounces happily over having wiles:
tried to eat the safe banana: The world is my fandomthefourthvine on July 6th, 2005 10:09 pm (UTC)
*admires wiles*

And obviously you have wiles. You've sucked hapless people into SGA so violently there was nothing left of them but the tail end of the desperate cry, "But I can't haaaaaave another faaaand - aaagh!" I suppose a better woman would find that tragic, but I am a fairly base creature, so it never fails to make me sincerely happy. Go you! Long may you write glorious stories so imbued with wiles that they cannot be resisted by mere mortals.
[Insert funny quote here] (lol insert): Tofu by akioohtorifloridapeaches on July 6th, 2005 06:23 pm (UTC)
Just finished the SGA rec, and really? That was one of the best things I've ever read. It's so unusual for me to read satisfying gen, but yeah. That was the definition of character porn, for me, and completely satisfying. Thank you for giving me such a lovely introdution to the SGA fandom. And possibly, curse you, for now I think I have a new obsession. Dammit.
John Stamos Took It Too Far: curling yay!brooklinegirl on July 6th, 2005 08:16 pm (UTC)

Thank you SO MUCH for the rec! I am now ready to do wild twirls in my living room. *mwah*!
mr duck's embarrassed: dorkgleenigeltde on July 7th, 2005 05:18 am (UTC)
And did I mention: best last line ever?

Oh! You are so right. *dies*
color is the new dangermmeguilotn on July 9th, 2005 09:37 pm (UTC)
I can't think of any RV or semi-based sex in FF.

Heh, that reminds of a popslash trucker AU in which JC Chasez drives a purple 18-wheeler. Yeah, I don't know. (And really your lack of interest in RPS is not keeping you from a great story here or anything.)