?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
20 September 2005 @ 04:38 am
Slashy Nominations 129: Rare Birds  
Recently, Bird acquired a friend. I stood at the bathroom window (extensive tests show that this is the best indoor spot for Bird monitoring) for - um, a while - listening to the beauty of interspecies communication.

Bird: Woooo. Woo-woo.
Friend: Chee-eeeep! Che-che-che-che-eeeep!

I quickly developed a mental image of Friend. Clearly, this was a small, cheerful bird. Possibly he had a dull brown exterior, but underneath was youth and excitement and enthusiasm for all things avian. I pictured him hopping about on the branch as he accompanied Bird.

Bird: Woooo. Woo-woo.
Friend: Chee-eeeep! Che-che-che-che-eeeep!

Of course, Bird is a dedicated guy. Nothing, but nothing, comes between him and his message. (Which, for the inattentive or forgetful, is: woo.) He has a mind that transcends the mundane; he's got purpose, he's got meaning, he's got soul.

Bird: Woooo. Woo-woo.
Friend: Chee-eeeep! Che-che-che-che-eeeep!

But as time passed (yes, I was in fact listening the whole time, and I don't want to hear a word about it), Friend began to flag. It's always the way with these youngsters; they start well, but they just don't have the stamina.

Bird: Woooo. Woo-woo.
[Pause, as of a rapidly tiring bird summoning the resources for another go.]
Friend: Chee-eeeep.
Bird, sounding encouraging: Woooo. Woo-woo?
Friend, sounding exhausted: Chee-eep.

Standing at the window, listening to this, I said, wistfully: "Their love is so doomed."

And then I realized what I'd just said, and added: "Jesus Christ. I've got to get out of here."

So I came in here to write a recs set, and if it just happens to start with an update on Bird, it's only because I know some of you are very interested in him. Or at least I'm pretending you are, for reasons of personal dignity.

But I do not come empty-handed, even if you don't count the Tale of Bird. Because I also have recs. Rare pairing recs. I mean, given the star-crossed love of Bird and Friend, what else?

(Added note: this weekend, we discovered that there is something that will shut Bird up, and that thing is: garage bands. Specifically, the one garage band belonging to the teenage boy - and please god let him go away to college soon, ideally to a very noise-tolerant state - a few houses down from us. Of course, given that said band's entire repertoire is Limp Bizkit, or rather the first eight bars of a number of Limp Bizkit songs, well - let's just say I won't be begging them to add extra practices or anything. And, yes. I'm not kidding. All Limp Bizkit, all wrong, all Saturday. For two years.)

Best FF in Which Rodney McKay Says Someone Is Smarter Than He Is. Seriously, It's a Moment That Would Totally Go Down in History If It Wasn't Way in the Future. The Big Bang and Everything After, by mandysbitch. Stargate: Atlantis x Firefly, Rodney McKay/River Tam. (Yes, I'm recommending Firefly. It's only a crossover!) Most of the time, I just do not get Firefly FF. Like, at all. Apparently, you had to be there for this fandom. But this story fascinated me, and not just because of all the unanswered questions that lurk behind it. Actually, what I loved most about this was the character of River, who was just - really, improbably gripping. I normally hate this character type - the crazy genius, mad because she knows things other people don't. (I'm more of a fan of the grouchy genius. Or, hey, even a reasonable nice one.) Maybe this was different because the story is from River's point of view, so you get a look into her twisted logic. Or it could just be because mandysbitch is a highly skilled writer. Because she obviously is; transplanting a character like this is never easy. It's ten times as hard when you're selling a pairing at the same time. Crossover pairings rarely work for me, probably because fan fiction relies, to a certain extent, on an initial buy-in; we go into most stories knowing the characters and being willing to believe they're involved. But authors of crossover pairings (and very rare pairings in general, but it's usually most extreme in crossovers) have to work without that, and that means a lot of fan fiction conventions don't work. But this - this works. I believe this Rodney, though I hurt for him a little, and I believe in this River, even if I've never met her before. Most of all, I believe they'd end up together in the universe of this story. Which you should totally read. Now.

Best FF That Proves That Luthors Are Entirely Too Talented for Their Own Good. Or Anyone Else's. Actually, Make That Especially Anyone Else's. No Quarter, by nifra_idril. Smallville, Lionel Luthor/Johnathan Kent. (And if you're right now thinking, "You know, there's a reason some pairings are rare," just wait. It gets worse! You'll be thrilled! Or maybe dead from the horror; could go either way.) I've never seen anything of Lionel except in vids. But his body language in those vids is so insinuating, aggressive, and confident that I seriously believe he could seduce anyone, and that's if he wasn't trying. I can't imagine what might happen if he was, but I'm fairly sure the words "total world domination" or possibly "catastrophe on an unprecedented scale" would be involved. And which would depend mostly on his mood that day. His mood in this story, for the record, is pretty much the same one a lion has when chasing a mouse: tolerantly distracted, because the little squeaking thing entertains him. And I totally and completely buy the reason he gives for going after Jonathan, mostly because the characterization in this story is amazing; the first four paragraphs are practically a textbook on Lionel, and most of the rest is a perfect justification for Jonathan. One that I rather like. Because at least in FF, Jonathan comes off as, well. Kind of a dick, sometimes, but mostly just - unclear. Inconsistent. But in this story, he makes a disturbing amount of sense. And I don't just mean the details of what happens here; I mean the dynamics of his relationship with the Luthors, and his behavior in general. Jonathan is so overmatched and outmaneuvered here that - seriously, it's like two different species: Home serpiens and Homo domesticus, and oh my god, no, I did not mean the really bad puns there. Obviously I'd better move on before the excellent Lionel/Jonathan destroys my brain.

Best FF That May Forever Taint Formerly Innocent Childhood Memories. I'm Not Kidding, People; Just Hearing the Pairing List Seems to Cause Permanent Brain Damage in Some People. Sunny Days, by hyperfocused. Sports Night x Sesame Street, Dan Rydell/Cookie Monster, Casey McCall/Guy Smilie, Dan Rydell/Casey McCall. Sometimes the beauty of a rare pairing is just the pure astonishment that anyone managed to carry it off. In this case, it's more like astonishment that anyone looked at this prompt (obviously, it's from ithurtsmybrain) and thought, "Yeah, okay. I can do that." (And I didn't even watch Sesame Street, and in fact had to resort to Google at a certain point in the story. I can only imagine what this does to people who actually watched the show.) But, you know, for me, this story works. Obviously there's the whole blue fluffy Muppet thing to get around - and, yes, I know some of you are saying, "You can't 'get around' the Muppet thing! For Christ's sake, which part of 'Muppet' did you not understand?" - but the author plays nicely on Dan's inherent flexibility and his tendency to do completely insane things when jealous, and the story's not so long that your disbelief snaps back, and somehow the Dan/Cookie Monster relationship comes off as...sweet. Sorry; it seems to be the set for puns punishable by death. But, really, it does. Or maybe this is all a sign that I have permanent brain damage. Can't say for sure. But I'm betting there are a couple people out there who are right now ordering CT scans on me, just in case.

Best FF That Makes Me Sing, "If You Were the Only Boy in the World, and It Was the Only Large Improbable City-Like Ancient Construct..." The Man Next Door, by saeva and verstehen. Stargate: Atlantis: John Sheppard/Atlantis. (Warning: spoilers for episode 2.08, Conversion. For those who do not wish to be spoiled, I have included another John/Atlantis story. See? Everyone's writing John/Atlantis! Why aren't you? You could be one of the very cool kids, here. Also, I warned for this because the episode was so recent. It's an experiment. Anyone who thinks I should keep doing this, please let me know.) So. When you're, you know, down and stuff. You turn to your beloved, and you say, "I am down and stuff. I need chocolate. Or sex." And we all know that Atlantis doesn't have chocolate. And that's about as much as I can say without totally spoiling the story or the episode from whence it came. But, see, this is why John/Atlantis is totally my emergency backup SGA OTP (Their love, as I commented somewhere yesterday, is so genetic. And Ancient. It is a love for all time and all biochemistries!): you cannot get more slashy or more destined to be together than this pairing. Forget Harry/[insert your chosen character here, because I am totally not stupid enough to walk in front of that flamethrower, thanks], people; these two really were made for each other. Now go read about John hurting and Atlantis comforting in a very, um, traditional way, for certain definitions of 'tradition.' Unless you haven't seen SGA 2.08 and you'd rather not be spoiled, in which case go directly to the other story. (Otherwise, read both. When I say "alternate story," what I really mean is "bonus story for most of you, plus an opportunity for me to recommend again in the same fandom, which saves me from yet another impossible decision." I swear, recommending is not for the choice-phobic.)

-Or-

Best FF That Really Makes You Consider All the Sides of the Phrase, "A Deal with the Devil." Learning to Breathe, by Speranza, aka cesperanza. Stargate: Atlantis, John Sheppard/Atlantis. Yet more proof that the John/Atlantis love is beautiful! Except, in this one, totally not. More like vampiric. But I don't mind at all. Sometimes our OTPs have these unhealthy, co-dependent, sucking-pit-of-need kind of relationships. It's just a little more literal in this story, is all. And, oh, the absolute beauty of what I think of as the command code line section of the story, which I have read so many times I now see several additional stories in them, which probably aren't there, but that's the beauty of art, right? We get from it what we bring to it, and whoa. Sorry. Went all Art Appreciation 101 there on you. (Mystifying, because when I took the class, it wasn't touchy-feely at all. It started as this eerily regimented thing like art boot camp, then disintegrated in mid-semester into a showcase for very disturbing videos. And there's a lesson in there for teachers everywhere: when we stopped hearing thoughtful discussions of alchemical symbolism in Marc Chagall's work and started seeing people in desperate need of therapy crucifying themselves on Volkswagens, everyone stayed awake. In some cases for weeks. But the point is: either you get great art or you don't, and if you don't, no amount of lectures will help. But excruciating, unnecessary, exceedingly silly pain is a language everyone speaks. Hurt your students today!) Um. Yes, this is still technically a story summary. But, really, all I have left to say is that this is brilliant, and the last few paragraphs are especially brilliant. And they should also be soothing to those John/Rodney fanciers who don't get the inherent perfection of John/Atlantis.* Although I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't.

-Footnote-

*Yes, of course I've got a half-written Rodney/John/Atlantis story. It is the thing to do when you have two overlapping OTPs, after all. Plus, I mean - doesn't everyone?
 
 
 
Stac-edivine_evil on September 20th, 2005 04:49 am (UTC)
I say the recommending of good fic should not be hampered by the possible spoiling of people, but that's just me. The bright red warning doesn't hurt, too.

Rare pairings such as these are a bit too much for right before bed reading, but the summaries made me scare the cat with my giggles, so.
tried to eat the safe banana: SGA infinitythefourthvine on September 20th, 2005 01:01 pm (UTC)
See, the problem is, most of the time I don't know if there are spoilers or not; I knew in this case because I'm in the fandom, even if I haven't seen the ep, and it was, shall we say, rather obviously a spoiler. But I wouldn't know about, for example, House, even though I read it sometimes.

This is one of the many curses of a fandom with active canon. I see that now. Woe is me.

Or, more accurately, thoughtful is me. What it comes down to, though, is that I'm not going to want to wait on good fic just because the ep only came out, say, last night. And if one could theorize that good fic writers would also likely say if an ep was a major spoiler...well, I guess the conclusion here is that I'll try to keep it up, but make no promises.

Jeez. Sounds like everything else in my life, really.

(And thanks for the opinion. Also, for having such an interesting LJ name. Now that I have Gmail, every comment gets archived under the first one, so I see the first LJ name a number of times. I've been pondering yours every time it pops up to the top of the inbox again.)
(no subject) - divine_evil on September 21st, 2005 04:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
aliquid stat pro aliquomaygra on September 20th, 2005 05:03 am (UTC)
We're expecting Bird porn you know. It could so be the Romeo and Juliet of the Avian world. Doomed, tragic, improbable. (I have a fondness for improbable).

I admire your stamina in the face of such a rare rec set and yes, there are a reason such pairings are rare (thank God) because really, I think you need to get out of the house more. Like frequently. Like it scares me that you read these. (And it scares me more that I'll read them because you did.) But really, it says something that with people like Cesperanza and Nifra, I inevitably give in because I don't think it's possible for them to write bad fic. Even intentionally. Like their bad fic would be good bad fic.

You are a bad influence. And evil. and Funny. Humor trumps evilness.

::sulks::

also, yay. I'm so glad to see you posting.



tried to eat the safe banana: UF whitethefourthvine on September 20th, 2005 01:32 pm (UTC)
We're expecting Bird porn you know.

Oh my god no. Seriously, no. I'm Bird-obsessed enough as it is.

Plus, I mean - how do birds even have sex? All I can imagine is a lot of frantic cheeping.

I think you need to get out of the house more. Like frequently. Like it scares me that you read these.

Yes. We're in entire agreement on that one, except for the part about how I'm not actually getting out of the house. But I choose not to accept responsibility for what I read; it is not my fault. I can only read what other people write. If they want to pair up Brian and Riddick, or even Brian and Johnny Utah - not that I am pointing fingers, you understand - well, I will have to read it.

At least for the pairings I rec'd up there, I didn't end up watching any additional movies, Miss I'm Going to Make You Want to Watch the Complete Vin Diesel Oeuvre and Not Even Say I'm Sorry, and Let's Not Even Discuss the NASCAR Thing. ("But Pitch Black is pretty good," I hear you protest. Yes, it is. But I am afraid of the dark. Netflixing that movie wasn't the smartest thing I ever did.)

Humor trumps evilness.

You have discovered my secret. By the rules and regulations (...they're more like guidelines, really) of the Evildoers Anonymous organization (No, we're not trying to be less evil; we just believe in doing evil quietly. Like good samaritans, only, you know, opposite.), I must now either recruit you or kill you.

But I suspect you're already a member. That whole Vin Diesel thing just reeks of secret evil. Greetings, sister!

*begins complicated Evil Handshake*

And, I agree: yay! I'm back to posting. It turns out to be the path to sanity. (Also procrastination.) No, really. I'm as surprised as you are.
(no subject) - maygra on September 20th, 2005 02:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
ship_recs on September 20th, 2005 05:29 am (UTC)
Thanks for reccing the Firefly/Atlantis fic. That was wonderful.
tried to eat the safe banana: Big eyesthefourthvine on September 20th, 2005 01:48 pm (UTC)
It is, isn't it? There's just something about Rodney and River. There was this fantastic little piece of Rodney-River interaction in one of the icon pairing memes recently. I wish I could find it again, because apparently I'm going to want more of Rodney and River for a while.
Annie: Headdesk Danaout_there on September 20th, 2005 05:57 am (UTC)
Dan Rydell/Cookie Monster, Casey McCall/m, Dan Rydell/Casey McCall

Dude. Please. How can you show so little love for Guy Smilie? How?

I'm deeply disappointed in you. *Deeply*.

That should have been: Dan Rydell/Cookie Monster, Casey McCall/Guy Smilie, Dan Rydell/Casey McCall. Because if Casey was going to hook up with any muppet character, of *course* it would be someone as TV-friendly and successful as himself.

...and the fact that I honestly stopped to admire the person/muppet pairings in this fic says a lot. It says that I adored the muppets as a child and that this story made me giggle so much. And then need detergent to wash out my mind.
HYPERFocusedhyperfocused on September 20th, 2005 09:30 am (UTC)
Wow, this rec totally made my day, thanks. And thanks, Annie, for sticking up for poor Guy;)

In retrospect, it's almost too bad Big Bird didn't make an appearance. It'd have fit in with the post so well. (But of course I'd never do anything with BB's character like I did with Cookie and the others. He's six. after all. That would be creepyier.
(no subject) - thefourthvine on September 20th, 2005 02:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - hyperfocused on September 20th, 2005 05:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - out_there on September 20th, 2005 08:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on September 20th, 2005 02:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - out_there on September 20th, 2005 08:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
post-apocalypse shenanigans: nobody's bitchbrynwulf on September 20th, 2005 06:16 am (UTC)
It could be the only thing to do now is write a Bird/Friend deathfic (Friend dies of course...what would the world do without Bird's Woo message?). I love doomed love affairs.

And I STILL refuse to be sucked into the consuming mawl that is SG:Atlantis. So there!
tried to eat the safe banana: Weird birdthefourthvine on September 20th, 2005 02:37 pm (UTC)
It could be the only thing to do now is write a Bird/Friend deathfic (Friend dies of course...what would the world do without Bird's Woo message?).

No. No. No. Wait! Oooo! It could be called "On a Tree by a River."

No. This is madness.

And I STILL refuse to be sucked into the consuming mawl that is SG:Atlantis.

You will be assimilated, puny fangirl.
Domenika Marzionemiss_porcupine on September 20th, 2005 07:06 am (UTC)
Oooooh. John/Atlantis. Isn't that, along with John/Puddlejumper, everyone's not-so-sekrit alternate OTP? Fantastic recs.

Having finally caught up... I still think the spoiler warning is good considering the episode aired only a few weeks ago. Not that SciFi made any pretense to keep the actual content of the episode any sort of secret. But what is fanfic if not to correct the inadequacies of television programmers?

And I'll trade you for my birds, which all sing the multiple-tone car alarm song in perfect order (they even do a credible version of the woo-hee, woo-hee bridge to the next verse). Better that Bird woo a friend than a Hyundai.
tried to eat the safe banana: Wombatsthefourthvine on September 20th, 2005 02:50 pm (UTC)
John/Atlantis. Isn't that, along with John/Puddlejumper, everyone's not-so-sekrit alternate OTP?

Oh my god yes. At least, I hope so, because those sure are mine. (Although I think Livia may have ruined me forever for John/Puddlejumper with her WiP Meme.)

But what is fanfic if not to correct the inadequacies of television programmers?

Ooo, good point. Yeah, I'm going to try to continue the spoiler warnings for active canons. Although I make no promises, because a lot of the time I wouldn't know a spoiler if it bit me on the face.

And I'll trade you for my birds, which all sing the multiple-tone car alarm song in perfect order (they even do a credible version of the woo-hee, woo-hee bridge to the next verse).

You know, I'm imagining that, and I'm - well, trying not to giggle, mostly. But I'm also thinking it must be insanely irritating to live with.

Wildlife gets really annoying in close proximity to high human density areas, doesn't it?

Better that Bird woo a friend than a Hyundai.

Now there is a truly transgressive pairing. Woo.
Cesperanzacesperanza on September 20th, 2005 08:37 am (UTC)
And, oh, the absolute beauty of what I think of as the command code line section of the story, which I have read so many times I now see several additional stories in them, which probably aren't there,

Uh, they're totally there. *g* There's supposed to be a part two from Rodney's POV where we see all that stuff happen in real time, so I laid it down in the code. (Good reading, there!) (And thanks for the rec!)
"She Who Procrastinates"logovo on September 20th, 2005 10:42 am (UTC)
here's supposed to be a part two from Rodney's POV

Sooo looking forward to reading this companion story. John/Atlantis is so much my favorite thing in this fandom.
(no subject) - cesperanza on September 20th, 2005 01:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on September 20th, 2005 04:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
hexnessiehexnessie on September 20th, 2005 10:26 am (UTC)
Oooh, goodrecs! Thanks for these. I need to get back to the fandom after weeks of abstinence.

Also, when I know there's been an episode I haven't seen yet, I just don't go where I can be spoiled :) I figure it's my responsibility to avoid spoilers, though, of course, a warning note is always appreciated.
tried to eat the safe banana: Wombatsthefourthvine on September 20th, 2005 04:08 pm (UTC)
Oh. Your icon. It slays me with its adorableness. (Adorability? Damn. There should be a better word for that.)

I need to get back to the fandom after weeks of abstinence.

I'm impressed with your, um, chastity, there. (And if SGA is the fandom you've been abstaining from - Jesus, how did you manage? There've been all the Harlequins and Worst Case Scenarios in those weeks. I'm reading way more than I should, and...wow. Just, wow.)
(no subject) - hexnessie on September 20th, 2005 04:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Marimarici on September 20th, 2005 10:33 am (UTC)
Eeee! I love bonus stories and I slaver with anticipation at the thought of you writing John/Atlantis. Thank you for these recs!

I may have cause to take my thanks back after I read the Cookie Monster thing, though.
tried to eat the safe banana: Harriet Vane at typewriterthefourthvine on September 21st, 2005 10:08 am (UTC)
Thank you.

I may have cause to take my thanks back after I read the Cookie Monster thing, though.

Yeah, that one is...kind of challenging for most people.

I slaver with anticipation at the thought of you writing John/Atlantis.

Um. Good to hear, but don't, you know, hold your breath. See, I write things, but the posting, well, not so much. Because I'm not so good with the finishing of them, which is critical to the writing process. The only time I ever managed to finish an NC-17 story was when my partner in crime, MMWD, wrote the middle of it. So, you know, just because I'm writing it doesn't mean it will ever appear where people besides me can read it.
indywind on September 20th, 2005 11:04 am (UTC)
cheeep?
woo! woo woo!

::snicker::
::snort::
ROTFLMAO
Condemned by the Space Pope: Yay!metron_ariston on September 20th, 2005 11:55 am (UTC)
Bird has made my day much, much brighter. Thank you! (Well, for the recs, too, but... Bird! *heart*)
Mandy's Bitch: smart and armed by groatymandysbitch on September 20th, 2005 07:35 pm (UTC)
Hey - thanks for the rec. I am just *loving* the love for Rodney/ River. It was a little daunting at first but as got into the story I began to see the potential. Maybe it was because I had only four days to write it (just so you know, the bit where it says "typo free" - yeah, totally *not*) and was sort of forced into the mind space. It suprised me. But I adore both characters so maybe it was fate, kismet, drugs - I don't know...

And I must say, I thought Rodney/ River was 'out there' but I have been well and truly upstaged by Dan Rydell/ the Cookie Monster. Fanfic - there's just ntohing like it.
cupidsbowcupidsbow on September 22nd, 2005 08:40 pm (UTC)
I loved the Cookie Monster crack! Thank you so much. It made my day.

I also adore the continuing story of Bird. dooooooomed