tried to eat the safe banana (thefourthvine) wrote,
tried to eat the safe banana
thefourthvine

Poll: Love Me Tender. Or Not. Whichever.

I think it's time to engage in the tradition of a pre-holiday poll. (And when I say "tradition," I mean "I did it last year. Once.") This poll was going to be all thoughtful and intelligent - okay, no, I'm not fooling anymore. But it really was going to be all about you.

And then, see. Okay. helenish posted this (CAUTION: spoilers for the most recent SGA and House), describing John Sheppard as a lover. And I giggled. A lot. But I realized - I disagree with her.

Which made me start thinking about china_shop's dS Cliff, Shag, Marry poll, in which she posed a mean, mean question (Kowalski, Vecchio, Fraser: Cliff, Shag, Marry?). People's responses to that were just fascinating.

So I started to wonder: how are our characters in bed? Now, note: this is not in bed with another character. This is if you were having sex with them. (Yes, assume they're attracted to you. Yes, assume you're attracted to them, or if you can't imagine that without feeling all geechy inside, skip that question.) So I put in a scale for each of them:

1 = OMG WORST EVER. Get away from me.
5 = This is perhaps the most average sexual experience of my life. Ooo, tiled ceiling!
10 = I have just bodily ascended into heaven on the joyous wings of PURE SEXUAL ECSTASY.

But can numbers alone communicate how good a fuck someone is? I mean, suppose, for example, someone is really good at oral sex, then suspiciously bad at everything else? Or a one-minute wonder, but the cuddling is great? So I also included optional text boxes for you to unpack your adjectives and really tell me what sex with this character would be like.

Yes, this is totally a poll without any redeeming value or interest or content. I refuse to feel bad. It is the day before a holiday, and that makes it okay.

(Oh, and if you're curious about why these fandoms - I used the ones that had 200+ current fans in this poll. See, it's all very scientific (and poll-fixated) in here. I have methodology to my madness!)

Note: do not forget to hit submit after each fandom. LJ will only allow 15 questions per poll!


Poll #873500 Love Me Tender: SGA

John Sheppard

Mean: 6.48 Median: 7 Std. Dev 1.77
1
1(0.8%)
2
1(0.8%)
3
7(5.7%)
4
6(4.9%)
5
20(16.3%)
6
20(16.3%)
7
31(25.2%)
8
25(20.3%)
9
8(6.5%)
10
4(3.3%)

What's a word (or a few) that describes John Sheppard in bed?

Rodney McKay

Mean: 7.37 Median: 8 Std. Dev 1.84
1
1(0.8%)
2
1(0.8%)
3
4(3.3%)
4
5(4.1%)
5
6(4.9%)
6
14(11.5%)
7
23(18.9%)
8
32(26.2%)
9
27(22.1%)
10
9(7.4%)

What's a word (or a few) that describes Rodney McKay in bed?

Ronon Dex

Mean: 7.79 Median: 8 Std. Dev 2.00
1
0(0.0%)
2
2(1.6%)
3
3(2.5%)
4
4(3.3%)
5
10(8.2%)
6
7(5.7%)
7
21(17.2%)
8
23(18.9%)
9
22(18.0%)
10
30(24.6%)

What's a word (or a few) that describes Ronon Dex in bed?

Teyla Emmagan

Mean: 7.75 Median: 8 Std. Dev 1.97
1
1(0.8%)
2
2(1.7%)
3
3(2.5%)
4
2(1.7%)
5
9(7.6%)
6
8(6.8%)
7
10(8.5%)
8
43(36.4%)
9
15(12.7%)
10
25(21.2%)

What's a word (or a few) that describes Teyla Emmagan in bed?

Radek Zelenka

Mean: 7.19 Median: 7 Std. Dev 1.72
1
1(0.9%)
2
1(0.9%)
3
1(0.9%)
4
2(1.7%)
5
11(9.6%)
6
25(21.7%)
7
21(18.3%)
8
25(21.7%)
9
19(16.5%)
10
9(7.8%)

What's a word (or a few) that describes Radek Zelenka in bed?

Elizabeth Weir

Mean: 5.22 Median: 5 Std. Dev 2.01
1
3(2.7%)
2
8(7.2%)
3
12(10.8%)
4
16(14.4%)
5
24(21.6%)
6
19(17.1%)
7
14(12.6%)
8
9(8.1%)
9
4(3.6%)
10
2(1.8%)

What's a word (or a few) that describes Elizabeth Weir in bed?

Carson Beckett

Mean: 4.92 Median: 5 Std. Dev 2.12
1
7(6.3%)
2
9(8.1%)
3
16(14.4%)
4
12(10.8%)
5
20(18.0%)
6
22(19.8%)
7
15(13.5%)
8
4(3.6%)
9
4(3.6%)
10
2(1.8%)

What's a word (or a few) that describes Carson Beckett in bed?




Poll #873501 Love Me Tender: dS

Ray Kowalski

Mean: 8.02 Median: 8 Std. Dev 1.70
1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
1(1.2%)
4
3(3.7%)
5
4(4.9%)
6
7(8.5%)
7
11(13.4%)
8
17(20.7%)
9
22(26.8%)
10
17(20.7%)

What's Ray Kowalski like in bed?

Ray Vecchio

Mean: 5.90 Median: 6 Std. Dev 2.20
1
4(5.1%)
2
3(3.8%)
3
4(5.1%)
4
8(10.3%)
5
10(12.8%)
6
19(24.4%)
7
10(12.8%)
8
10(12.8%)
9
8(10.3%)
10
2(2.6%)

What's Ray Vecchio like in bed?

Benton Fraser

Mean: 7.75 Median: 8 Std. Dev 1.63
1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
2(2.4%)
4
1(1.2%)
5
7(8.4%)
6
5(6.0%)
7
16(19.3%)
8
23(27.7%)
9
18(21.7%)
10
11(13.3%)

What's Benton Fraser like in bed?




Poll #873502 Love Me Tender: HP

Harry Potter

Mean: 5.23 Median: 5 Std. Dev 1.85
1
2(2.4%)
2
4(4.8%)
3
9(10.7%)
4
14(16.7%)
5
17(20.2%)
6
18(21.4%)
7
11(13.1%)
8
6(7.1%)
9
2(2.4%)
10
1(1.2%)

What's Harry Potter like in bed?

Ron Weasley

Mean: 5.30 Median: 5 Std. Dev 2.21
1
5(6.0%)
2
2(2.4%)
3
14(16.7%)
4
10(11.9%)
5
13(15.5%)
6
14(16.7%)
7
11(13.1%)
8
9(10.7%)
9
4(4.8%)
10
2(2.4%)

What's Ron Weasley like in bed?

Hermione Granger

Mean: 6.83 Median: 7 Std. Dev 1.99
1
1(1.2%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
7(8.6%)
4
2(2.5%)
5
10(12.3%)
6
9(11.1%)
7
19(23.5%)
8
16(19.8%)
9
12(14.8%)
10
5(6.2%)

What's Hermione Granger like in bed?

Remus Lupin

Mean: 7.45 Median: 8 Std. Dev 1.57
1
1(1.2%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
1(1.2%)
4
1(1.2%)
5
4(4.8%)
6
13(15.7%)
7
16(19.3%)
8
29(34.9%)
9
12(14.5%)
10
6(7.2%)

What's Remus Lupin like in bed?

Sirius Black

Mean: 7.16 Median: 7 Std. Dev 2.34
1
2(2.4%)
2
3(3.7%)
3
3(3.7%)
4
5(6.1%)
5
4(4.9%)
6
6(7.3%)
7
20(24.4%)
8
9(11.0%)
9
18(22.0%)
10
12(14.6%)

What's Sirius Black like in bed?

Severus Snape

Mean: 6.04 Median: 6.5 Std. Dev 2.64
1
4(5.4%)
2
6(8.1%)
3
9(12.2%)
4
0(0.0%)
5
9(12.2%)
6
9(12.2%)
7
11(14.9%)
8
14(18.9%)
9
4(5.4%)
10
8(10.8%)

What's Severus Snape like in bed?

Draco Malfoy

Mean: 4.66 Median: 5 Std. Dev 2.38
1
9(11.2%)
2
10(12.5%)
3
10(12.5%)
4
7(8.8%)
5
14(17.5%)
6
11(13.8%)
7
6(7.5%)
8
10(12.5%)
9
2(2.5%)
10
1(1.2%)

What's Draco Malfoy like in bed?




Gregory House

Mean: 6.87 Median: 7 Std. Dev 1.90
1
0(0.0%)
2
3(4.8%)
3
2(3.2%)
4
2(3.2%)
5
4(6.5%)
6
8(12.9%)
7
22(35.5%)
8
9(14.5%)
9
8(12.9%)
10
4(6.5%)

What's Gregory House like in bed?

James Wilson

Mean: 6.93 Median: 7 Std. Dev 1.92
1
0(0.0%)
2
1(1.7%)
3
4(6.7%)
4
3(5.0%)
5
4(6.7%)
6
7(11.7%)
7
17(28.3%)
8
11(18.3%)
9
9(15.0%)
10
4(6.7%)

What's James Wilson like in bed?

Eric Foreman

Mean: 6.91 Median: 7 Std. Dev 2.09
1
2(3.6%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
2(3.6%)
4
2(3.6%)
5
6(10.7%)
6
9(16.1%)
7
10(17.9%)
8
15(26.8%)
9
3(5.4%)
10
7(12.5%)

What's Eric Foreman like in bed?

Lisa Cuddy

Mean: 7.24 Median: 8 Std. Dev 1.93
1
0(0.0%)
2
2(3.7%)
3
1(1.9%)
4
2(3.7%)
5
4(7.4%)
6
7(13.0%)
7
9(16.7%)
8
16(29.6%)
9
7(13.0%)
10
6(11.1%)

What's Lisa Cuddy like in bed?

Robert Chase

Mean: 6.79 Median: 7 Std. Dev 1.87
1
1(1.8%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
1(1.8%)
4
3(5.3%)
5
8(14.0%)
6
11(19.3%)
7
16(28.1%)
8
6(10.5%)
9
5(8.8%)
10
6(10.5%)

What's Robert Chase like in bed?

Allison Cameron

Mean: 5.87 Median: 6 Std. Dev 1.95
1
1(1.8%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
4(7.3%)
4
11(20.0%)
5
9(16.4%)
6
8(14.5%)
7
9(16.4%)
8
9(16.4%)
9
2(3.6%)
10
2(3.6%)

What's Allison Cameron like in bed?




Poll #873504 Love Me Tender: SG1

Jack O'Neill

Mean: 7.85 Median: 8 Std. Dev 1.34
1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
1(1.6%)
4
1(1.6%)
5
1(1.6%)
6
3(4.9%)
7
15(24.6%)
8
21(34.4%)
9
14(23.0%)
10
5(8.2%)

What's Jack O'Neill like in bed?

Daniel Jackson

Mean: 7.92 Median: 8 Std. Dev 1.72
1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
2(3.3%)
4
1(1.7%)
5
3(5.0%)
6
5(8.3%)
7
8(13.3%)
8
15(25.0%)
9
16(26.7%)
10
10(16.7%)

What's Daniel Jackson like in bed?

Teal'c

Mean: 7.88 Median: 8 Std. Dev 2.07
1
1(1.8%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
2(3.6%)
4
2(3.6%)
5
2(3.6%)
6
4(7.1%)
7
8(14.3%)
8
11(19.6%)
9
12(21.4%)
10
14(25.0%)

What's Teal'c like in bed?

Sam Carter

Mean: 7.10 Median: 7 Std. Dev 1.71
1
0(0.0%)
2
1(1.7%)
3
3(5.2%)
4
1(1.7%)
5
1(1.7%)
6
12(20.7%)
7
14(24.1%)
8
14(24.1%)
9
10(17.2%)
10
2(3.4%)

What's Sam Carter like in bed?

Cameron Mitchell

Mean: 7.64 Median: 8 Std. Dev 1.56
1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
0(0.0%)
4
2(3.8%)
5
3(5.7%)
6
7(13.2%)
7
11(20.8%)
8
14(26.4%)
9
9(17.0%)
10
7(13.2%)

What's Cameron Mitchell like in bed?

Vala Mal Doran

Mean: 9.06 Median: 10 Std. Dev 1.35
1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
0(0.0%)
4
0(0.0%)
5
2(3.8%)
6
1(1.9%)
7
5(9.6%)
8
5(9.6%)
9
10(19.2%)
10
29(55.8%)

What's Vala Mal Doran like in bed?




Poll #873505 Love Me Tender: Supernatural

Sam Winchester

Mean: 7.66 Median: 8 Std. Dev 1.73
1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
1(1.7%)
4
2(3.4%)
5
2(3.4%)
6
13(22.0%)
7
6(10.2%)
8
14(23.7%)
9
11(18.6%)
10
10(16.9%)

What's Sam Winchester like in bed?

Dean Winchester

Mean: 8.46 Median: 9 Std. Dev 1.62
1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
0(0.0%)
4
3(5.1%)
5
0(0.0%)
6
3(5.1%)
7
9(15.3%)
8
12(20.3%)
9
10(16.9%)
10
22(37.3%)

What's Dean Winchester like in bed?

John Winchester

Mean: 7.19 Median: 8 Std. Dev 2.47
1
2(3.8%)
2
3(5.7%)
3
0(0.0%)
4
2(3.8%)
5
5(9.4%)
6
5(9.4%)
7
6(11.3%)
8
13(24.5%)
9
6(11.3%)
10
11(20.8%)

What's John Winchester like in bed?


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