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14 April 2007 @ 01:52 pm
165: Travel Is Education and Experience  
Yesterday afternoon, I had a nurse demonstrate for me how to take something up the ass. Okay, no. What she was actually demonstrating was how to get your partner to give you a shot in the butt ("Go for the meatiest part!" she said cheerfully. I badly wanted to say, "Have you seen my ass? There's no meat shortage there!"), but she bent over in a position that is, shall we say, extremely familiar to me (and to every slash writer or reader on this earth) from other contexts, grabbed the desk firmly with both hands, and said, "Okay. So you say, 'One, two, three, BAM!' And right then he sticks it in you. On 'BAM!'"

I tried to be mature about it. I really did. But I disgraced myself badly, to the point where I had to put my head down on her desk because I was laughing so hard I was light-headed. It was whole minutes before I could breathe well enough to tell her the name of my pharmacy. And for the entire time, she stood there, smiling like someone who totally does not get the joke. It's a shot, she seemed to be thinking. Why is this woman laughing so hard? Shots aren't funny.

I don't think they like me very much at that medical office, and frankly, I really understand why. We're just not compatible. After I recovered - to the extent you can recover from something like that - she said, "You know, you're lucky. Some people, they have to do it for themselves. It's a lot harder to get the angle right if you don't have a partner." Now, I totally take her point - I am lucky that I have someone else to stick things in me and get the angle right. It's what life partners are for! But, but, okay. I can't be the only person ever to hear that and not be thinking about medicine, can I?

Except I'm afraid I actually am, at least at that office. Like I said, we're not compatible. Mostly because I'm apparently 12, whereas they seem to be set up to treat actual grown-ups, not incurably low-minded people who are just faking this adulthood thing.

Anyway. Obviously my reaction to this incident is going to be to post some recs. (My other reaction, sadly, is going around the house saying, "One, two, three, BAM!" to Best Beloved. Over and over. I cannot help myself. In my defense, Best Beloved is saying it right back to me. Maturity is thin on the ground at Chez TFV.) What choice do I have? None. But, in an attempt to ascend to greater grown-up-ness, I am not going to make the theme of this set "bending over a desk and taking it up the ass." No. Really. Not.

Instead, I am going with travel. See how grown up I am?

Yeah, I know. I'm fooling no one. On with the set.

The One That Made Me Sniffly About a College Football Play Made by People Who Appear to Be Wearing Gold Lame Headgear. I'm Usually a Bit More Stable Than That.* Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead, by Speranza, aka cesperanza. Stargate: Atlantis, Rodney McKay/John Sheppard.

How can I not have recommended this story already? Oh, right, because I just naturally assumed that everyone with any kind of sense and even a vaguely reliable internet connection had read it already. But it has come to my attention that there is a person out there who has not read it, and I cannot in good conscience rest until I have done my part to rectify that. It would be against the Recommender's Code. (Yes, there is a Recommender's Code of Ethics. The first item is "Don't let recommending make you crazy," but the second is, "If someone, somewhere, has missed out on a good story, it is ALL YOUR FAULT." Recommenders are deeply conflicted people with angst and emo and suchlike coming out our (meaty and suitable for poking with a sharp stick) butts, and never let anyone tell you otherwise.)

So. Vacationing on earth - fun for the whole extra-terrestrial family! Except for how it is totally not fun for anyone currently living in Atlantis, because let's face it, they all left the planet for a reason, and that reason wasn't, "To get some really good stories to tell the kiddos at night as we roast marshmallows over the campfire." And it's not like a year in Atlantis makes you more suitable for life on earth. So this story takes that old theme - the stranger in a once-familiar land - and gives it a lovely, Pegasus Galaxy twist. And adds gay sex. But most of all, it adds a jersey so meaningful that the first time I read this, I seriously started searching the internets for such a shirt. If I'd managed to find one, I'd have bought it, people, and I still want one, and it's only through steadfastly reciting "I have no need for a football shirt" that I have managed to resist the temptation thus far.

Basically, I love this story so much it made me want a souvenir t-shirt. I don't usually want souvenirs from stories. (I don't even usually want souvenirs from trips, although I do have a strange desire to buy unfortunate hats while away from home. I resist this. Hats that seem like a good idea on vacation will be too humiliating even to give to Goodwill when sanity returns.)

And if that doesn't tempt you to read it - Souvenir! T-shirt! - well, I just don't know what to do for you. (But I'll still try to think of something. The third entry in the RCoE is "Never give up, never surrender," and I want to be an ethical recommender. I really do.)

The One That Uses Talking Heads Song Lyrics. Really. And Is Also Brilliant. I Bet You Didn't Think That Was Even Possible. One for the Road, by katallison. Highlander, Duncan MacLeod/Methos. (Um, Highlander fans, if you're out there - does Methos actually have a given name, or a family name, or whichever name Methos isn't? Or was he born before that new-fangled multiple names malarkey?) Warning: Animal harm. If you need to avoid it - well, I never read the segment that mentions a "Deer Crossing" sign, and you don't have to, either.

So. Te recommended this story to me, and she said it strongly influenced her characterization of Methos. I can, um, see why. It basically created mine; I had no conception of Methos as a character before I read this. And now I really, really do. (By the way, if you haven't seen Highlander, no problem. Here's what you need to know to get this story: Methos is immortal! He's really old! MacLeod is also immortal! But not as old! There, now you're set. Everything else you need, Kat will give you. Oh, wait - there's also some funny business with swords. Okay, now you're totally set.) As soon as I read this, I knew this was always going to be the Methos in my head, and not just because Kat is worryingly good at getting into the head of an immortal who has been around since, you know, the dawn of time. (Has anyone checked Kat to make sure she's aging? I'm just saying. I have suspicions, people.) Not even because Kat is so good at writing. (And, now I think of it, isn't that also kind of suspicious? I mean, if she's had several centuries to hone her craft, that would make so much sense.)

No, it's because - okay. We've all read Borges, right? (If you haven't, oh my god, don't tell me. Just go and purchase all his short fiction immediately. If you haven't read Borges, how do you even know for sure that you're alive?) This story makes me think of "Funes el memorioso"/"Funes the Memorious," where Borges writes, "We live by leaving behind." In that story, someone who can't forget essentially can't live, because he can't move on. And I'm not going to sink into literary analysis - really really not, for the Recommenders Code of Ethics part eight states, "Don't get all literary if you can help it, but don't, like, use the word 'rediculous,' either" - but. Well. I'm just saying. The Methos of this story - the Methos in my head, in other words - would totally get Funes, and furthermore he'd probably think Funes had the worst curse man has ever known.

So, what is this story about? Methos on a road trip. And it's got a lot of things I don't generally like in a story: first person, an entirely mental narrative, the thing I warned for up there, certain, um, themes. (And I adore Kat and her writing, but oh how she hits those themes. There's a line in this story about love being a trap, the kind of trap that kills you unless you get out, and the first time I read this, I said, "Oh, Kat." Because she just encapsulated, perfectly, the thing she's said in so many stories, you know?) But it doesn't matter, none of that matters, because this is one of the most right character pieces I've ever read. Just - read it, okay?

The One That Will Give You an Inexplicable Nostalgia for Your Days Running Train Cons and Working on a Chain Gang, Which Is Strange, Given That You Never Actually Did Either. (And Aren't You Glad?) The Buried Treasure Racket, by Dorinda. The Sting, Henry Gondorff/Johnny Hooker.

I expect you've all The Sting. If not, my god, why? What is wrong with you? It's got a caper, con men, and the slashiest on-screen pairing since - well, basically, since ever and ever amen. There's sparkling dialog! There's period clothing! There's con men in love! What else do you need? Okay, Ms. Hard-to-Please, try this: Paul Newman and Robert Redford are in a class by themselves when it comes to not-entirely-subtextual sexual chemistry. And, yes, I'm going to repeat the story, since it is my favorite - Newman's wife once said that if he ever left her, it'd be for Redford. (RPSers, why aren't you already on this? It would do my heart good to know Newman/Redford was out there. In volume. There's newford - thanks, giglet, for pointing that one out - but there should be lots of this stuff, people.)

So. Here is your program for your immediate future:
  • If you have already seen The Sting, proceed directly to this story. Read it. Revel in it. (If you decide to print it out so you can roll around in it, know that I understand and am entirely supportive of your lifestyle choice, but I will not sympathize with any paper cuts you might incur; those are just the risks you take when you enjoy great fiction.)

  • If you haven't seen the movie, rent it, borrow it, buy it, steal it from your best friend, whatever. I don't care what you have to do. Watch it. Be slightly stunned at the slash coming off the screen in waves. Then read this story, and make happy squeaking noises as you do. (Entry # 6 in the RCoE: "If you can communicate with dolphins using just the power of your squee, you're doing it right.")
Whichever course you take, I think you'll find that this is the only acceptable sequel that movie could ever have. I mean, I do think there was some kind of actual, filmed sequel to this, yes. I would wager it sucked, because it wasn't this, and this - this is what actually happened after the movie ended. I truly believe that.

elynross got this for Yuletide 2006 - and I think we can all agree she richly deserved it - and my heart just about exploded when I read it. This is one of the stories I've been dreaming of since the day I found out about slash fandom. I can say no more.

The One That Features Maybe the Best Non-Conversation About Incriminating Underwear That I Personally Have Ever Read. And, Wow - I Think Only Sorkin Characters Could Even Have a Non-Conversation About Incriminating Underwear. Scenes from a Route, by Epigone, aka likethesun2. Sports Night, and I consider this gen, but it's labeled as having Casey/Dan undertones, so, really, anything you like.

I am having a Sports Night renaissance. It's official. Admittedly, this is more because suddenly there are, thanks to sn_playbook and csc_memoand the efforts of many crazed Muskrat Jamboreers, Sports Night stories available for me to read and link to than because I've suddenly fallen back in love with Sports Night. Because the thing is, my love for the fandom (and the show) never left. But now I actually have stuff to love, as opposed to just sending Dan and Casey random "Hey, I love you! And I miss you! But you'll always be in my heart! *sniffle*" postcards. (Not that they don't appreciate the postcards. I'm sure they do; in fact, they probably read them out loud to each other and argue over which one of them their mysterious correspondent is stalking. It's just, it's not the most productive fannish outlet, is all.)

And I really love this story. It's delicious, it's gorgeous, and I was completely paralyzed when I attempted to leave feedback for it, because really, "gorgeous" is about as coherent as I can possibly get about this. I just - oh, Dan. Oh, Casey. This story reminds me of how helplessly I love them both.

This story is Dan and Casey before the show - the route they took to get to the show, with all the detours and sideshows and unfortunate incidents with bad map reading and people pulling over to the side of the road to be sick, and, okay, I'm working the trip metaphor too hard. Going to stop now.

Instead, I'll just say that this story is not exactly how I pictured Dan and Casey in the pre-show days. And that doesn't matter at all, because I read this and loved every word of it and believed every sentence. And when someone writes a story that contradicts your personal, irrational, deeply-held-to-the-point-of-insanity convictions about a character's pre-canon history, and you love it even so, then that is a fabulous story. Which is what this is.

You go read it. I'm going to sit here and be incoherent and thrilled and totally in love with Sports Night, okay? You can join me after you're done.

-Football Footnote-

* You can see this play here. You can also see the deeply unfortunate helmets. I suggest you click through for two reasons (or three, if you like to see people with shiny things on their heads):
  1. The announcers totally lose it and start shrieking. It's hysterical. Sports reporting apparently does not have "dignity" as a prerequisite.

  2. If you're me, you'll start wondering if all college football is, um, quite that hands-on. You take the handsy-ness, you add the emotion - it all starts to seem kind of - well, slashy. But that could just be me.

    I'm betting it's not, though.
 
 
 
astolatastolat on April 14th, 2007 09:00 pm (UTC)
But, in an attempt to ascend to greater grown-up-ness, I am not going to make the theme of this set "bending over a desk and taking it up the ass."

OMG, that was SO MEAN. I was expecting a whole recs set on this theme! You had built towards it so beautifully! and then NO. ;__;
tried to eat the safe banana: Dinosaurs and sodomythefourthvine on April 14th, 2007 09:49 pm (UTC)
OMG, that was SO MEAN. I was expecting a whole recs set on this theme! You had built towards it so beautifully! and then NO.

Okay, see, no. You're supposed to say, "TFV, how mature! I am so proud of you for making this responsible and adult choice." See? That's rewarding my good behavior. Whereas the kind of comment you left just makes me want to post a bunch of fucking-on-a-desk recs, and how grown up is that? Not very. Help me help myself! Reward my goodness!

(no subject) - astolat on April 14th, 2007 10:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - vito_excalibur on April 14th, 2007 10:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV lettersthefourthvine on April 14th, 2007 09:58 pm (UTC)
Oh, TFV. Never, ever change.

*sad sigh*

Frankly, I'm not even sure change is an option for me at this point. If I was going to grow up, I'm pretty sure it would've happened already.

This is ethical, right?

Absolutely. The RCoE encourages this kind of thing. In extreme cases, you may also apply handcuffs and/or blackmail. Do whatever you have to do! Remember: we're not out to make friends; we're out to make people read.

I don't understand how you can live on this earth and not need to read this story.

You can't. Or, put it this way: people who don't want to read this story surely aren't from my planet. And, frankly, if they visited, we'd probably eye them with great suspicion.

Please, like anything involving sports has dignity. Even fencing doesn't have dignity, and that's about as stylized and aristocratic as it gets in sports.

See, I didn't know that. I thought, you know, the greatness of sport, the drama, the tragedy, blah blah blah. I take it not so much?

Hmmm. This makes me like sports better. More inappropriate touching + less taking yourself seriously = happy TFV.

It's not just you. Do you want links? I'm pretty sure there's some out there -- I know more the MLB stuff, because I bleed Mets blue and orange, but I refuse to believe I can't get you links.

*blinks*

I'm actually tempted. But I suspect that, even though I could not name a single football player even under torture ("Joe! I'm pretty sure there's a player named Joe! Also Michael! And John! And maybe - um, Matthew? God, no, not the Barry Manilow again, please."), it would still count as celebrity-oriented to my sad, celebrity-squicked brain, and thus it would squick me.

Although. Hmmm. If you could actually find some Flutie/Phelan, I'd probably read it anyway, squick be damned. Sometimes you just have to suck it up.
(Deleted comment)
on sateda, i was an accountant: i thought his name was warrenminervacat on April 14th, 2007 09:09 pm (UTC)
If you're me, you'll start wondering if all college football is, um, quite that hands-on. You take the handsy-ness, you add the emotion - it all starts to seem kind of - well, slashy. But that could just be me.

since i went to a college baseball game last night and spent most of the game complaining that there wasn't nearly enough ass-patting, pretty much it's definitely not you.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV dogtagsthefourthvine on April 14th, 2007 10:00 pm (UTC)
since i went to a college baseball game last night and spent most of the game complaining that there wasn't nearly enough ass-patting, pretty much it's definitely not you.

*beams*

This is excellent news. The athletes of today are fully skilled in touching each other's asses! (Except possibly some college basketball backsliders - you should write a letter of complaint to the coaches of the teams you watched last night.) This is the kind of thing that gives me hope for the future.

I'm very happy now.

*beams some more*
(no subject) - minervacat on April 15th, 2007 12:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
¿es eso un libro de besos?: fangirldarthfox on April 14th, 2007 09:12 pm (UTC)
Any excuse to read Denver again is good enough for me (she said, opening the link in a new tab). (Side note: wow, it really is something how much easier it is to type when your fingernails are not too long. I don't know why I keep forgetting this.) The football-jersey thing is brilliant, of course, but for me the moment that always gives me goosebumps is when they're at the symphony and John has his hands on the armrests and closes his eyes and Rodney half-expects the concert hall to light up. (See! I have goosebumps now, just referring to it!)
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV bluethefourthvine on April 14th, 2007 10:04 pm (UTC)
Any excuse to read Denver again is good enough for me

*nods*

This is why I rec. Not so much so that other people will have an excuse, but so that I will. What kind of recommender would I be if I didn't re-read each story prior to linking to it? Not an ethical one, that's for sure.

Side note: wow, it really is something how much easier it is to type when your fingernails are not too long. I don't know why I keep forgetting this.

Perhaps you need a program that will monitor your typing speed and errors and then pop up a window saying, "Cut your fingernails now, Fox." And don't laugh - there's a program that will detect if your cat is typing, so I don't see why there shouldn't be one for this, too.

The football-jersey thing is brilliant, of course, but for me the moment that always gives me goosebumps is when they're at the symphony and John has his hands on the armrests and closes his eyes and Rodney half-expects the concert hall to light up.

Yes yes yes. SO MUCH YES.

Annnnnd now I have to re-read it AGAIN.
sandyurbahnssandyurbahns on April 14th, 2007 09:14 pm (UTC)
You know I never thought to look on youtube for this play, no matter how often John mentions it to Rodney. Thanks for posting :) It was great seeing what all the hype is about.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV brownthefourthvine on April 14th, 2007 10:14 pm (UTC)
I totally cannot take the credit; musesfool found it, and a bunch of other awesome football clips, for me. (Football clips are so neat to watch on YouTube. The football players flock, just like birds, and in long shots it looks kind of like Go: you can see these offensive and defensive patterns forming, except made with people instead of stones!)

And I am so happy she did. Admittedly, I think that play probably is more dramatic if you've seen more long passes than just that one, but even so - I never fail to be impressed by it. (And, actually, I'm not surprised that John took it to another galaxy with him. Talk about your Hail Marys.)
Gwynevere1gwynevere1 on April 14th, 2007 09:28 pm (UTC)
Clearly, there is something wrong with those people in that medical office, because there's no way that *anyone* with his or her sense of human still attached could not have cracked up at those lines.
tried to eat the safe banana: Adult nowthefourthvine on April 14th, 2007 10:14 pm (UTC)
See, that was what I thought. But apparently not - apparently most people don't find it funny at all.

I suspect that this is actually a practice that mostly treats androids, actually. It's the only explanation I can think of.
(no subject) - adannu on April 14th, 2007 11:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Her Head Exploded! How Cool Is That?: wait for itzee on April 14th, 2007 09:39 pm (UTC)
*giggles helplessly*
tried to eat the safe banana: Smilethefourthvine on April 14th, 2007 10:15 pm (UTC)
*beams*
fan-orphan: Pros  -  Walk the Linejoandarck on April 14th, 2007 09:48 pm (UTC)
Ha, I was just thinking about trying to write up something about that Dorinda story this morning. It's been a while since I read it, and then china_shop linked to it a few days ago, and it's even better when you read it by itself and take in every word than when you're just gobbling it down in a mad rush. I'd missed some of the subtleties that make it so damn, damn, damn good. But I started trying to explain some of them and the problem is I CAN'T TALK ABOUT DORINDA RATIONALLY BECAUSE SHE IS SO GOOD SHE MAKES ME FREAK OUT. AND ALL THAT WOULD BE LEFT ON THE PAGE WOULD BE A LOT OF CLUMPS OF KEYS THAT HAVE ALL BEEN BANGED AT ONCE. BECAUSE OMG DORINDA.

*pant pant*

I first ran across her when I was crazy for Pros, so, like a year and a half ago? But the fangirling is still as intense and crazed and embarrassing as ever.
tried to eat the safe banana: Smilethefourthvine on April 14th, 2007 10:28 pm (UTC)
The first story I read last Yuletide was, of course, the one written for me, the amazingly awesome Nice Work If You Can Get It. I just about died of joy when I read that, to the point that I would not be surprised if my comment on the story lacks, you know, nouns. And verbs. I was that joyful. And then I read Buried Treasure Racket (because I requested The Sting for the two Yuletides before this one, and I have been wanting to see slash for it since the west was won), and it was likewise amazingly awesome (I had to wait a whole day to leave feedback, because I was again so overcome that any immediate feedback would have lacked most key sentence parts). After those two stories, I had to breathe into a paper bag for a while, because oh my god.

And, yeah, I know what you mean about Dorinda. True story: early in my fan fiction reading, before I knew about LJ or knew anything about the community aspect of FF or had even the vaguest clue, I sent feedback to her on "Confidence Men," the story that pretty much spawned this LJ. (I had to tell people to read it. HAD TO. It was a NEED.) Long, incredibly detailed, way too involved feedback that broke just about every rule in the Good Feedback Manual. She was very nice about it, but I still boil with shame every time I think of it. So, yeah, she's made of awesome, and she's very nice, and OMG I totally humiliated myself in front of her. Go me!

Actually, I don't think you can ever really stop fangirling Dorinda. It's just - you read one of her stories, you're in the fanclub for life. *passes you the cookies at the official Dorinda Fanclub meeting*
(no subject) - giglet on April 15th, 2007 09:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - joandarck on April 15th, 2007 11:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Susan: catastrophist since 1982: loveddaydreamer on April 14th, 2007 09:50 pm (UTC)
Denver is the fic that made me think, Hmm, maybe there's something to this 'football' thing after all...

*cries a little watching the youtube clip*

*totally slashes the captains of opposing teams when they hug and whisper in each other's ears in a manly fashion at the end of a game*
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV glowythefourthvine on April 14th, 2007 10:31 pm (UTC)
Denver is the fic that made me think, Hmm, maybe there's something to this 'football' thing after all...

*nods nods*

In my case, it was musesfool - she linked me to the Hail Mary clip, and that did it.

*cries a little watching the youtube clip*

*snuffles right along with you*

*totally slashes the captains of opposing teams when they hug and whisper in each other's ears in a manly fashion at the end of a game*

YES. TOTALLY.
threerings: HL methos_ROGthreerings on April 14th, 2007 10:14 pm (UTC)
No, Methos has no other actual name. He has aliases (?) that he goes by at times, most notably Adam Pierson, but Methos is as much of his real name as we know. It's possible that he doesn't remember his birth name.

What? It's not like I'm a huge Methos fangirl from way back or anything...
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV umbrellathefourthvine on April 14th, 2007 10:36 pm (UTC)
Ah-ha. Thank you. I'd wondered if it might not be something like that.

What? It's not like I'm a huge Methos fangirl from way back or anything...

He's, um, quite compelling, isn't he? Based on vids and YT clips, I have come to the conclusion that a) Methos is very interesting and b) if he and Duncan aren't doing it, that totally isn't Methos's fault.
(no subject) - threerings on April 15th, 2007 03:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
elynross: celebrateelynross on April 14th, 2007 10:16 pm (UTC)
*beams madly at you*

You recced my story!!!! This makes me happier than any rec for any story I ever wrote, ever, for this is the perfect story, and everyone should read it, and just. Yes. My story. Which I share with those who appreciate it, and I knew you would be one of them, because I remember that you have requested this pairing at least once in Yuletide, if not more. *g*

Also, Methos is first introduced to us as "Adam Pierson," but that's just the name he's using at the time; he claims to have no memory over about 5000 years ago (before that, things are a little hazy), and we have no other name for him but Methos.
tried to eat the safe banana: Smilethefourthvine on April 14th, 2007 10:44 pm (UTC)
You recced my story!!!!

How could I NOT rec it?

I just had to wait until I could do so without, you know, swooning.

Which I share with those who appreciate it, and I knew you would be one of them, because I remember that you have requested this pairing at least once in Yuletide, if not more.

Every year but last Yuletide. (And I left it off the list in 2006 because I had come to the conclusion that I was asking too much - I'd already put my oldest, most dearly loved wish on the list, even though I expected no one would or could write it, and putting a second one that I loved that much on there seemed excessively demanding. (Especially given that two of my other requests were certifiably insane.) And then I got BOTH those wishes anyway. Seriously, nearly died of joy.)

he claims to have no memory over about 5000 years ago (before that, things are a little hazy)

I can see how that would happen. I mean, I can barely remember what I did last week, so...yeah.

Methos is just very interesting, isn't he? Any recs for HL stories about him?
(no subject) - threerings on April 15th, 2007 03:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
St. Rougarou: omfgkittensgogoangelgunboy on April 14th, 2007 10:29 pm (UTC)
omfg. *dolphins-and-farinelli-singing-giulio-cesare-pitched-squee*

gondorff x hooker. omfg. that's...so brilliant. can we have butch x sundance, too? there's more damn ST in that than "brokeback mountain," i swear.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV lettersthefourthvine on April 14th, 2007 10:52 pm (UTC)
*dolphins-and-farinelli-singing-giulio-cesare-pitched-squee*

*ears bleed*

(But, really, I understand the impulse. After Yuletide, I squeed so much that I'm pretty sure dolphins everywhere gathered in deep undersea conclaves and said to each other, "Somewhere, a fangirl is thrilled. And it's not that I'm not happy for her, but I can't even hear myself think when she's making all that noise.")

can we have butch x sundance, too?

There are four at Yuletide! Okay, so they aren't all Butch/Sundance, but they are all for the movie, soooooo...
bandidos yanquis - gogoangelgunboy on April 14th, 2007 10:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: bandidos yanquis - thefourthvine on April 14th, 2007 11:10 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: bandidos yanquis - petronelle on April 14th, 2007 11:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: bandidos yanquis - likethesun2 on April 17th, 2007 03:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
St. Rougarou: hahabodygogoangelgunboy on April 14th, 2007 10:38 pm (UTC)
more medical procedure awkwardness
the doctor involved was already thrown because he wasn't accustomed to performing colonoscopies on people who refused any form of sedation beforehand, so this wasn't fair of me, anyway...

doctor: *to a reclining gunboy* all right, pull your knees up towards your chest and try to relax.

gunboy: sure. but i usually get dinner and a movie first.

doctor: sorry, what?

gunboy: *rethinks the "just don't go telling your friends i'm easy" remark* uh. never mind...
tried to eat the safe banana: Smilethefourthvine on April 14th, 2007 11:03 pm (UTC)
Re: more medical procedure awkwardness
*giggles*

When I was 16, my ulcers got worse. My (middle-aged, extremely staid) gastroenterologist prescribed some drugs, then said, "And you'll want to watch what you eat, of course." And he gave me some information on diet and asked if I had any questions.

I did. "So, could swallowing semen be a problem?"

It seemed like a relatively innocent question! And such an obvious one! But he turned BRIGHT RED, and then stammered out, "Do you. Uh. Do that? Uh. A lot?"

And I said, "Well, not a lot. Just, like, every other day or so, I guess. A little more than that. Maybe four or five times a week?"

I spent 15 more minutes with him, and he didn't stop blushing (or look at me, or even in my direction - he just stared down at my chart) that entire time. Very awkward. (If you're curious: yes, he did advise me to stop. And I did not say to him, "You've just ruined my plans for the summer." But I was sorely tempted, let me tell you.)
Re: more medical procedure awkwardness - gogoangelgunboy on April 14th, 2007 11:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
misspamela: Bond. James Bond.misspamela on April 15th, 2007 12:08 am (UTC)
*raises hand*

I've never seen The Sting.

There, I've said it!
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV lettersthefourthvine on April 15th, 2007 02:32 am (UTC)
We need to DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS OMG. Tell me how we can FIX this situation! Because, because - this is a tragedy. Taking place right here in my LJ!

*frets*
(no subject) - giglet on April 15th, 2007 09:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Anoel: hl methosanoel on April 15th, 2007 12:08 am (UTC)
I totally laughed and would have laughed at that. Too funny.

OMG you recced One For The Road!! That is one of my favorite, if not my favorite fanfic I've ever read and it blows me away every time. I really think you should read the deer part, it has one of my favorite metaphors EVER and it hurts so beautifully. It's practically perfect in my mind and I've read it so many times and tried to get people to read it so I'm so happy you recced this.
tried to eat the safe banana: TFV menorahthefourthvine on April 15th, 2007 02:51 am (UTC)
I totally laughed and would have laughed at that.

See, this is why I love fandom. People get it.

*bonds*

I really think you should read the deer part, it has one of my favorite metaphors EVER and it hurts so beautifully.

I can't. I really, really can't. Animal harm of any kind destroys me. I only managed to get through the story because I had an advance warning to skip that section - otherwise, I'd've had to stop reading there, even though it's brilliant; there's a fantastic SGA story I can't ever go back to because I hit it without an animal harm warning and that was it for me.

It's kind of like the ultimate squick for me, I guess you could say.