tried to eat the safe banana (thefourthvine) wrote,
tried to eat the safe banana

Poll: It's Like a Getting-to-Know-You Exercise, Except Without the Torture.

Okay, so long ago, when this LJ was young, I posted a list of infrequently asked questions about this LJ. These were not serious questions, mind you; if I ever find the answer to war or hunger or why we can't all just get along, believe you me, I will make some noise about it, and possibly mention it in its own special LJ post, even. These were just random questions that I made up myself because it was April 1 and I was feeling frisky.

A while ago, Best Beloved happened upon that entry and said I should do an updated version. In this context, "updated" actually means "all-new," since the old list of questions is so dated and irrelevant as to look like a grocery list from 1952. (There are other things it has in common with said grocery list, too. No mention of organic quinoa is one such thing. Being interesting only in a strictly historical sense is another.)

So it would take actual work - thinking of all-new questions! Writing them down! Posting them! - to do this. I am lazy. I decided I'd wait a bit, which on LJ is code for, "Yeeeah, no, probably not."

But recently, ainsley seconded the request, and, well, who am I to buck what is obviously a growing trend? I mean, if I don't do this soon, it could eventually be three people asking, and then - well, you know the saying: one's an accident, two's a movement, three is a goddamned arms race and oh, great, you just destroyed the world, you lazy bum. I think that's how that goes.

Unfortunately, as I said, the old Questions I Hope No One Is Planning to Ask are not really suitable for simple updating. On account of, like, one of them is, "Why don't you have an icon?" Which made me giggle a little when I saw it, because I now have 138 of them uploaded and another several hundred on my hard drive that I rotate in from time to time, and still I long for more, ever more shiny 100x100 doses of pure crack. (Yes, the giggle had a distinct note of hysteria. Can you blame me?)

So, obviously, the old list is a wash.

The problem is that I do not have any actual questions to replace the irrelevant questions on that list. (Which is, basically, all of them. Seriously, the first five are about the concept of Slashy Nominations, which I basically stopped using like a year ago.) And since you lot are much more interesting than I am, I'm much more likely to expend my limited brain runtime thinking up questions to ask you (which have two advantages: 1) I don't know the answers and 2) I'd really like to) than I am to try to think up something to ask myself. So I'd like to do as I am bid, but, well, I can't.

Or I couldn't. Because I've had a brainwave. Maybe I can get you to do my work for me! (Take note, trend-watchers. This could be the next big thing.)

So, do you happen to have a question you'd like me to answer? Because if so, I would be really grateful if you'd share in the poll below.

Ideally, these will be questions about this LJ. Or about me, if there's anything you'd like to know about me (although I'll tell you right up front that asking me what my favorite anything is is not going to get you much besides an, " I have to have a favorite? Do I have to have it right now?"). I mean, I'm willing to entertain other questions, but I seriously do not understand the Navier-Stokes equations, for example, and that's unlikely to change as a result of this poll.

Also, I can't promise to answer every question. Some things cannot be known, like where my other sneaker is. (Although, god, if you know, please tell me.) Some things should not be known, like the home address and telephone number of the Elder God Cthulhu. And some things I just plain won't tell. But, but - I will make an effort. And you'd be helping me meet the demands of my public (both of them!) by asking.

Serious questions are welcome! Humorous questions are welcome! Questions about German impressionist film are welcome, but unlikely to be answered intelligently! C'mon. Ask me something.

(By the way, if your question is, "Where is that original not-FAQ entry?" it's here, but I wouldn't recommend you read it. It is, um, painfully, horribly, mock-inducingly out of date. Although you can see the extremely comical icon question in its native habitat, so it's not an entirely wasted trip.)

Poll #1001676 Do you have something to ask?

Here is where you type a question that I might be able to answer. Or, if you prefer, one I totally can't answer.

Here is where the high achievers in LJ land ask a second question, or continue their first question if it was really really long.

And here is where you ask a third question, if you are Fangirl the Questioner or someone.

As always, please choose a chunk of text as you exit the poll. (In this case, you're more than welcome to choose a chunk even if you didn't do anything with the rest of the poll but scoff at it.)

With its many facilities, Ituna is a good place to visit
the mysterious woman in the attic who you never see
manage and control exotic marine species where eradication is not feasible.
It's mostly pheromone-driven.
I am entirely innocent in this! Really, Canada was mostly to blame.
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