Log in

No account? Create an account
18 October 2007 @ 07:16 pm
Yuletide Letter  
Dear Kind and Courageous Writer-Person,

I tried really hard to be sane with my prompts this year. I got them beta-read! I got them reviewed! I rewrote them four times, even though that required resubmitting the whole form each time, so you know my effort was sincere. (Also, this sincerity was responsible for something I call offer-creep; each time, more offers migrated to "any." Bravery through slothfulness!)

If I still came off as crazy, okay, fine. You caught me. I am. But this should in no way negatively affect your Yuletide experience. Truly, I will do my best to be a model Yuletide recipient.

I should warn you, though, that the crazy is probably going to flow freely in this letter. I can't supress it all the time. But it will be subdivided for your convenience, and that has to count for something.

Since you clicked on the cut, perhaps you would like some details? I have them! In extreme and kind of scary quantity.


So. You've seen my prompts. You may be wondering about me right now; I would not be at all surprised. If so, my Infrequently Asked Questions post will tell you much, much more than you ever wanted to know. If you make it all the way through that, you will never wonder anything about me ever again. Ever. You may also find yourself weeping, you know not why, but there's nothing I can do about that except be sorry. Sorry! (I find Puffs Plus to be an excellent brand of tissues, ideal for all your information-glut-related weeping needs.)

Fan Fiction and Me: OTP

You may be wondering about my fan fiction preferences. Well, first - this is mainly a recs journal, so if you're seriously curious, look around. If it's recommended here, I loved it.

But that might take more time than you have, so let me offer a summary for the busy Yuletide author on the go. I love:
  • Happy endings
  • Humor
  • Good grammar and spelling
  • Dialog
  • Plot
  • Character
  • Perspective
  • Smut
  • ...Many, many other things
My squicks include:
  • Animal harm (This is my absolute deal-breaker squick; I cannot cope with it at all. Animal death is obviously even more of a problem.)
  • Child harm or death
  • Rape
  • Incest (This really should not be an issue with any of my requests, but, hey, I figure warning is always good.)
  • Chan
  • Embarrassment

My Yuletide Fandoms

You may also be wondering about the fandoms I requested. (I would be surprised if you weren't, frankly.) Permit me to tell you a little bit (okay, maybe a lot) about why I love them, and why I requested them.

Appetite (for Lightin' Dynamite) (song)

I know full well you didn't sign up for this one, because no one did. (WOE.) Nonetheless, I kept it in. And I'm offering it for download (here), in case you feel like listening to it. I figure, hey, maybe you wish you hadn't signed up for the fandom you got matched to me on. Maybe you would prefer to write something else. Well, here's a really easy canon to learn. It's like four minutes long. So if you're considering jumping ships, this is a nice one. There are, you know, deckchairs and things.

I love this - hmmm, can you really call one song a fandom? I guess in Yuletide you can - fandom because the character descriptions are so clear. (And characters are what draw me to a fandom, after all.) Every time I hear the song, I recognize the people it describes. And then I want to know more - how they came to be who they are, where they are, why. I'm really hoping for some science fiction type world building in response to this prompt (should you for some reason choose to write it), with maybe some relationship stuff, but I'd be happy with anything about these characters. Particularly Ava.

Note: I sort of strongly suggested up above that I want, you know, light and happy stories for Yuletide. That is generally true. However, this song is about people who (probably metaphorically, although if you can come up with a literal interpretation of this, go crazy) light dynamite and then let it blow up in their hands; I have no illusions that any story about them will be super perky and filled with sparkles and cake. I love these people in part because they're willfully, determinedly doomed. So if you write this one, go where it takes you. I will rejoice regardless.

Jess[i]e's Girl (song)

For me to explain why I requested this, I need to tell you about a tradition in our household. See, my Best Beloved grew up with many older siblings who between them spanned, like, eighteen generations and five continents in terms of musical tastes. I grew up with one older sister who had (and still has) very specific taste. Also, I didn't pay much attention to, well, anything popular, growing up. This means there are some gaps in my knowledge of popular music.

As a result, Best Beloved and I regularly have a conversation wherein I reveal ignorance of some song (latest example: House of the Rising Sun, which I still have not heard, except a really peculiar Zydeco cover of it that Best Beloved says is unacceptable in terms of bring me up to speed) or band (example that Best Beloved still cannot stop bringing up: Led Zeppelin) that is apparently a foundation of Western civilization. Best Beloved expresses shock, disbelief, and dismay, and wonders out loud how this tragedy came to be, and then we sort through our iPods and CD collections to see if my lack can be remedied. If necessary, Best Beloved will sing the song in question. (She refused to sing House of the Rising Sun, though. Dadgummit.)

So, quite some time ago, we had this conversation:

Me: ...Jessie's Girl?
BB: Oh, don't even tell me you don't know that one.
Me: I really think I don't.
BB, singing: "I wish that I had Jessie's Girl/Where can I find a woman like that?"
Me: Not familiar.
BB, warily testing the depths of my ignorance: Rick Springfield?
Me: Well, here's what I know about Rick Springfield. When I was little, my sister had a friend - Michelle, I think her name was - who was so obsessed with Rick Springfield that she wrote his name on her bedroom wall in foot-high letters. In black paint. I went to her house with my sister once and I was really riveted by that.
BB, briefly distracted: Your sister had a friend who was obsessed with Rick Springfield?
Me: Yes.
BB: Wow.
[There is a pause as we both reflect on the follies of youth.]
BB, shaking it off: Okay, you really need to hear this song.
[Jessie's Girl is uncovered and played.]
Me, listening carefully: Oh, suuuuuuure, you want Jessie's girl. Is that why Jessie is the only one who gets an actual name? Is that why you can't stop thinking about him having sex? Riiiiiight.
BB: Yeah. See, this is why I said you should hear it.
Me, still listening: Oh my god, the narrator wants Jessie so much.
BB: Well, that was my thinking.

And thus a Yuletide fandom was born. This explains why I misspelled the name of the fandom and the only named character during nominations (um, sorry); I had never seen the song written down, and it never occurred to me that Jessie might use the girl's spelling of his name. (In all honesty, I still think he didn't. I suspect the narrator of shenanigans.) I'm definitely hoping for a happy ending here; teenage angst seems inevitable whether you choose to go the threesome or the twosome route, but, um, please don't rip my heart out. Or the narrator's. If you can help it.

For this fandom, I offer you TWO song downloads: Jessie's Girl, of course, and Apple Candy, which I think really gets at inherently homoerotic nature of that kind of love triangle.

P.G. Wodehouse - The Gold Bat

When I was 10, I discovered P.G. Wodehouse. I actually responded to his works totally fannishly, even if I didn't know that's what I was doing. I obsessively sought out everything he'd written, scouring used bookstores on two continents for the really obscure editions. I quoted his works endlessly, to the vast annoyance of everyone I knew. I was never without a Wodehouse book, either in my hand or hidden somewhere on my person (seriously, I had to be frisked before we left the house on some occasions). And I developed very sincere opinions on each one of his books, most of his short stories, and all his universes.

I love Bertie and Jeeves. I love the Earl of Emsworth. But I'm pretty satisfied with those universes as Wodehouse left them. However, I yearn for fan fiction in the school stories world; there's so much room there! So much to explore! And I love the tone of the school stories, the feel of them; when he wrote them, Wodehouse was already working towards his strange, idealized version of British life, but in my (uninformed) opinion, he hadn't quite achieved total disconnect yet. But his writing and dialog were already totally characteristic, and zany, and fun.

So, basically, I'm hoping here for a story that sounds just like the canon - brisk and frothy and light and banter-y - either gen or slash, as you prefer. O'Hara and Moriarty are probably my favorite characters, but I also have an embarrassing amount of love for Trevor. So, you know, feel free to go anywhere with any of those three; I'd love to see them aged up, I'd love to see them at Oxford, I'd love to see more stories set at school, I'd love to see them at home, I'd love to see them having big gay love. I'm easy! Okay, I'm asking for something that sounds just like Wodehouse, so maybe easy isn't the right word. But I'm definitely flexible.

And here's an online version of the book: The Gold Bat at Project Gutenberg.

RPF - Charles Baudelaire

There's a reason why I put this request fourth: it's certifiable. Or maybe I am. But still. I love Charles Baudelaire so much, and I love the world he describes in his poetry even more, and I would love to see a story about him, especially if it's set in the world his poetry describes. (And, by the way - she wasn't in the character list, but if you want to include Jeanne Duval, by all means DO.) If you want to throw in a crossover, well, Angelus from the Jossverse seems obvious to me; in the Angel episode She he makes it clear he knew Baudelaire, and frankly that explains so much. But do whatever! The choice is yours!

The delightful and wise norah (note: also an excellent resource for TFV-related questions and complaints, not that I am suggesting you email her long woeful screeds about my inherent evil or anything) advised me to mention favorite translations here, but in fact I have no single favorite translation; I think most of the translators rocked some of the poems and totally failed on others, so I kind of pick and choose. However, in case you're unaware of it, there is an awesome resource for Baudelaire's poetry online: fleursdumal.org. You can find translations of all the poems here, and there's at least one good one for almost all of them. I whole-heartedly recommend it.

(Oh, and I should note: I don't speak French. I know, I know, I'm totally pathetic, reading Baudelaire in translation. I own it. My point is - a realistic, period Paris background is desirable; I've done enough reading about Baudelaire that I would love that. But realistic language would be kind of a problem, since, you know, I couldn't read it.)

And, again - I said in the general notes that I pretty much wanted happy endings and lighter stories. Baudelaire's story is not happy, and neither is his ending, and I would in no way want you to change that. Go to town - go for creepy, go for tragic, go for crazy. Whatever you feel works. (Just, I know with Baudelaire it's tempting, but if you could try hard not to hurt animals or children, that would be awesome. Feel free to abuse Baudelaire all you want.) I will read with gratitude and wonder, and I will fully appreciate it, because Baudelaire's story is totally a lush, insane tragedy.


Thank you so much for doing this - for being a part of Yuletide, for signing up for one of my crazy fandoms, for being awesome. I love you already. And even if you don't hear from me right away on archive opening day - sometimes I can't get there immediately, although believe me I try - rest assured: I will love what you write. Because you wrote it for me. You are the best.

John Stamos Took It Too Far: martini! - heuradysbrooklinegirl on October 19th, 2007 03:04 am (UTC)
it was YOU who put in Jessie's Girl! HA!

...and now that you've written about the homoerotic nature of it so eloquently, I REALLY HOPE someone writes it for you. Wow. ♥
tried to eat the safe banana: Musicthefourthvine on October 19th, 2007 04:19 am (UTC)
It was totally me. I confess. (Although I'd like to point out that someone else requested it, too. I am not alone in my madness! This is very unusual for me.)

And, seriously: there is homoeroticism SEEPING from that song. Threesome! Twosome! Whichever! My point is: the narrator and Jessie need to LEARN SOME NEW THINGS.
(no subject) - exceptinsects on October 19th, 2007 04:59 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - misspamela on October 19th, 2007 09:36 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on October 20th, 2007 05:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - starfishchick on October 19th, 2007 01:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
tried to eat the safe banana: Wombat OTPthefourthvine on October 19th, 2007 04:21 am (UTC)
♥ back at you, dear. And many hugs, which it sounds like you need. I'm sorry everyone is sick; that is NO FUN.

Email me! I will probably fall into a stupor very soon, but I will read your email upon arising from it.

Also, I am terribly curious to know what present you got me that the baby could eat.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - reginagiraffe on October 19th, 2007 10:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
there's nobody here but us chickensincidental_fire on October 19th, 2007 03:32 am (UTC)
I have to say that I've heard Jessie's Girl on more than one occasion, and never once did it occur to me that the narrator might have ulterior motives for Jessie...Now that's all I'll be able to think about. I am vastly amused. :)
tried to eat the safe banana: Musicthefourthvine on October 19th, 2007 04:22 am (UTC)

I am infecting others with my vision! This pleases me greatly.

(P.S. The narrator wants Jessie SO MUCH. The end.)
(no subject) - incidental_fire on October 23rd, 2007 01:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
squeeze me, stomp me,  make me winemoosesal on October 19th, 2007 03:37 am (UTC)
Wow. How did I miss that Jessie's Girl was an included fandom? I didn't even see it. Damn. I probably would have offered it.

You? Are positively certifiable. And I love that about you. I hope you get someone who writes all four of these for you, because that would be awesome.
tried to eat the safe banana: Musicthefourthvine on October 19th, 2007 04:26 am (UTC)
It's really easy to miss a single fandom amongst the, you know, big ol' list of 1662 (Most of which I, for one, stare at in befuddlement: how can there be this many fandoms I've never heard of? What's WRONG with me?). But WOE to you missing Jessie's Girl, because OMG you could have been my writer! (Yes, it is all about me. I can't help it.)

Instead, I can only dream. Unless you feel like spontaneously writing some Jessie's Girl FF, of course.

I hope you get someone who writes all four of these for you, because that would be awesome.

Indeed it would. Oh, indeed. But I'd be delighted just not to send my writer screaming into the night.
(no subject) - moosesal on October 19th, 2007 05:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on October 19th, 2007 05:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - moosesal on October 19th, 2007 05:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
Oooh, pretty: Should Go Sing Some Myself Some Karaokenailfile on October 19th, 2007 03:51 am (UTC)
Jessie's Girl as a fandom? That's...incredibly perfect.
I always find myself singing along "I wish that i was Jessie's Girl", so i guess the random girl Jessie is currently with has quite a bit of competition. =o)
tried to eat the safe banana: Musicthefourthvine on October 19th, 2007 04:27 am (UTC)
Jessie's Girl as a fandom? That's...incredibly perfect.


That is precisely what I think.

I always find myself singing along "I wish that i was Jessie's Girl", so i guess the random girl Jessie is currently with has quite a bit of competition.

Oh, Jessie's Girl: yours is a hard row to hoe. (And I tend to sing "I wish that I had Jessie's dog." Let us not investigate that too closely; it's just, when you often sing to dogs, you sometimes need to modify the words to hold their interest.)
Apatheia Jane: wet wig fistapatheia_jane on October 19th, 2007 04:35 am (UTC)
This is reminding me of Killers fandom. A friend of mine is a major fan, and has a conspiracy theory about all the songs on Hot Fuss being about the same 3 characters, 2 guys and a girl. There's a song where the narrator talks about a guy "Andy you're a star (in nobody's eyes but mine)... in a car with a girl, promise me she's not your world". And then there's a song about casual sex, which may or may not be narrator/Andy. And then Andy meets a girl "she's touching his chest now, he's taking off her dress now, letting me go, and I can't look it's killing me." And then they kill her, and the narrator gets questioned by the cops, and then the girl gets a name, "I got no motive for this crime, Jenny was a friend of mine". And the whole album is how the narrator wants this Andy guy.

I can upload if you want, btw.

I like
threerings: DW RockOnDoctorthreerings on October 19th, 2007 11:16 am (UTC)
OMG. You have totally just illuminated that album for me. Because my mind has been playing with all the weird characters and relationships without fitting them all together. And I will so be listening to The Killers this morning and writing sekrit fic in my head.
(no subject) - reginagiraffe on October 19th, 2007 10:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - omg_palindrome on October 20th, 2007 02:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on October 20th, 2007 04:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
Elke Tanzer: plotbunnieselke_tanzer on October 19th, 2007 04:51 am (UTC)
My memories of skating around the roller rink to that music just came into sharp focus for me... at a slashy tilt.



You're so right.
tried to eat the safe banana: Musicthefourthvine on October 20th, 2007 04:50 am (UTC)

Another convert to the One True Jessie Way! My evil plan is succeeding.
[3] The "other" in question was a snake.phnelt on October 19th, 2007 05:50 am (UTC)
! Earl of Emsworth! I had half convinced myself I was the only one who loved that whole set (silly, I know, but so easy when faced with the sheer mountain of blank looks or disdain I found when expressing my love). I mean, everybody knows Jeeves and Wooster, and yes, they are fabulous, but can't Blandings castle get a little love too? I feel so lifted by this, I think I can experience the rest of the day with a little bit more of a spring in my step (if I were to step, I'm mostly planning the sedentary book and tea regimen right now), so yes, thanks a lot. Seriously. (and wow, this kind of came across way too strong, sorry)
vito_excalibur on October 19th, 2007 03:59 pm (UTC)
No way. Blandings is fantastic. Gally forever!
(no subject) - thefourthvine on October 20th, 2007 04:53 am (UTC) (Expand)
Imaginary Researcher: Jude Law - peachzgraphicshannahrorlove on October 19th, 2007 07:16 am (UTC)
I can send some Led Zeppelin over to you if you'd like. I'm taking a class on that band, and if my teacher sometimes talks about the eroticism between the band's singer and lead guitarist, there's probably something to their work you'd like.

There's a historic and still active RPS fandom for the band, which doesn't suprise me in the least.
tried to eat the safe banana: Musicthefourthvine on October 20th, 2007 04:55 am (UTC)
Oh, yes, I would totally love some Led Zeppelin. Please please please?

There's a historic and still active RPS fandom for the band, which doesn't suprise me in the least.

OMG. I don't even think I can name a band member. And I had no clue that there was homoerotic subtext in amongst the Zeppelins.
(no subject) - hannahrorlove on October 21st, 2007 06:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
out_there on October 19th, 2007 07:38 am (UTC)
and Apple Candy, which I think really gets at inherently homoerotic nature of that kind of love triangle.

Apropos of absolutely freakin' nothing, Apple Candy is my inner theme-song for Nip/Tuck, since the Christian/(omg, I am blanking on Sean's wife's name, stupid Fridays)/Sean vibe is so canonical it's...

Well, the two guys get together and hire a *hooker* who looks like a young version of Sean's wife (and as soon as I hit post, her name will come back to me) and then proceed to have sex with her. While the other one stays int eh room, smoking a joint and *watching*. Seriously, that song is perfect for that screwed up relationship.

(And Jesse's girl? So homoerotic. Even after I realised the line was "I wish I had Jesse's girl" not "I wish I *was* Jesse's girl".)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - out_there on October 20th, 2007 12:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thefourthvine on October 20th, 2007 05:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
Narahtemily_shore on October 19th, 2007 11:11 am (UTC)
Have you seen this vid to "Jessie's Girl"? Or heard this version of the song?

tried to eat the safe banana: Vidsthefourthvine on October 20th, 2007 05:03 am (UTC)
No, and now I really want to. I wonder if she'd reupload for me?

*makes note to leave request for reupload when she's feeling brave*

(And thanks for the rec!)
(no subject) - zebra363 on October 20th, 2007 07:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - sarken on October 23rd, 2007 01:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - sarken on October 23rd, 2007 01:45 am (UTC) (Expand)
Pun: Madpun on October 19th, 2007 01:44 pm (UTC)
Your Jessie's girl story makes me laugh because like your Best Beloved I had many older siblings who exposed me to their music (and television shows, and movies) and my favorite song when I was five was none other than "Jessie's Girl." I knew all the words and was frequently asked to perform for their friends.

I'm sure you can imagine how hilarious they found it.
tried to eat the safe banana: Musicthefourthvine on October 20th, 2007 05:05 am (UTC)
I'm sure you can imagine how hilarious they found it.

I had an older sister, so indeed I can. I was also very amusing to my sister and her friends. Although, sadly, she never thought to teach me Jessie's Girl.

(I flatly refuse to say what my favorite song when I was five was, because SHAME. But I will admit that I was given to reciting poetry. I was a very special child.)
(Deleted comment)
tried to eat the safe banana: Musicthefourthvine on October 20th, 2007 05:06 am (UTC)
Yup! It was me, me, me. (Although someone else joined in my madness and actually requested it. I was so happy about that.)

And apparently I should've pimped this fandom before signups closed, because a lot of people seem ready to embrace the concept of Jessie's Girl FF. Yay!
indywind on October 19th, 2007 04:52 pm (UTC)
Jessie's Girl= so slashy. Definitely needs a threesome. I didn't realize about the name either.

I really want to see what comes of that prompt. If your yuletide author picks another, I may have to do something about it myself.

I thought I was the only one who saw the potential there.
tried to eat the safe banana: Musicthefourthvine on October 20th, 2007 05:08 am (UTC)
Jessie's Girl= so slashy. Definitely needs a threesome.

Oh, it so totally does. Nothing says conduit like Jessie's Girl!

I didn't realize about the name either.

I feel like sending a sternly-worded note to Rick Springfield, if he's still alive.

If your yuletide author picks another, I may have to do something about it myself.

OMG DO! That would be WONDERFUL.

*bounces excitedly*
esther_aesther_a on October 20th, 2007 03:26 am (UTC)
Ooh, Wodehouse on the internet!
It never occurred to before, but you are totally right about Jessie's Girl.
I have a copy of House of the Rising Sun, if you want.
I'm esther_a, by the way, but I'm having a hard time logging in.
tried to eat the safe banana: Musicthefourthvine on October 20th, 2007 05:10 am (UTC)
It never occurred to before, but you are totally right about Jessie's Girl.


I am so pleased that so many people are with me on this, because frankly I spend a lot of my time off in left field wondering where everyone has gone. But apparently Jessie's Girl is a unifying fandom. Everyone can agree that it needs a threesome.

I have a copy of House of the Rising Sun, if you want.

Eee, thank you! (And Best Beloved will thank you, too. One more small section of my musical ignorance stamped out!)