Best FF with a Novel and Appealing Approach to Safe Sex: Chicago's Most Wanted, by speranza. Due South, Kowalski/Fraser. Show, not tell - that's the credo of writers everywhere, yes? Well, then, let me offer two quotes that will show you why you need to read this story right now. "It's a Fraser kind of plan! Diabolical and nutritious!" "Sucking cock and robbing banks. Fraser just hadn't been the same since prison." That last also serves an excellent plot summary. And if those quotes don't persuade you, I'm not the only one needs therapy.
Best FF That Serves As a Useful Diagnostic - If It Makes You Laugh, You've Spent Too Much Time on Livejournal: My Fucking Life, by prillalar. Harry Potter, gen. Sirius Black's livejournal begins after Order of the Phoenix, which certainly colors his, um, perspective. Think of it as the Very Secret Diaries for the blogging community. If this story does in fact make you laugh, you may want to consider experiencing other sorts of communities - I understand they have fine ones outdoors, at a site called "real life." If you try this novel approach to life, please let me know how it works, OK? I'll be here.
Best FF That Shares a Basic Plot Summary with Several Children's Books: Throw My Head Away, by alestar. X-Men comics. Bobby wants to change his name, and he goes to all his friends, one by one, to ask them about that; unlike most children's books with this plot, "Throw" is slow-burn funny. I love this story 'cause the characters' reactions are so right. Alestar, bless her, has apparently been reading the X comics long enough to know the characters (which means she's likely got X-induced insanity; do not tell her, though, because if she gets treated she'll probably stop writing FF like this), and she just - really - look. I can't explain why this story is good. I can't explain why it's funny. But I can explain what will happen if you don't read it: you'll be statistically more likely to experience random bouts of guilty schadenfreude, keening, and antidepressant addiction. Nobody wants that.
Best FF That Will Save You Money, Keep Your Hands Clean, and Protect Your Eyebrows from Harm: Kids Under Twelve Drink Free, by Mallory Klohn (no link for her, sorry). The Sentinel, Blair/Jim. See, Jim takes Blair to Vegas, and, well, there's gambling and sex and old ladies and sleaze and it's funny and...um. Sorry, but this is another one you just have to read to get. And please note that you can definitely read this story if you have no Sentinel experience; Las Vegas experience is also unnecessary, both for this story and for your life. I've been to Las Vegas far, far too often, and I promise you the place is a lot more fun when you're not actually there. So don't go; read this story instead, and not only will you experience the place as everyone should - from a distance - but you'll also save on airfare, gambling losses, and whatever it costs to get Vegas out of your clothes and your brain once you get home.