tried to eat the safe banana (thefourthvine) wrote,
tried to eat the safe banana

[Poll] The not-secret not-meme

So, there was this secret questions meme going around. And of course I was curious - I am, after all, made mostly of curiosity (actual formula: 70% curiosity, 22% sarcasm, 8% cheese) - but you had to agree to post the meme to get the questions. And I don't do memes here.

And then a certain person rended the veil of secrecy. I won't name her. (Okay, I will. It was toft_froggy. All hail her!) And. Well. I was kind of disappointed. I expected AWESOME questions. I expected questions WORTH keeping a secret. ("Who is fixing the current presidential election?" for example.) Instead, they were - well. I didn't think they were optimized for fannish use, let's put it that way.

So obviously I had no choice; I wrote my own version of the meme (with extensive help from best_beloved, as I was actually nursing the earthling while I did this). But I still don't post memes here. Instead, I am posting a poll! Please answer with names selected from your friends list. And please do answer. Unlike the original meme, these are things I seriously want to know.

Poll #1262743 Not a meme!

Who is the prettiest, prettiest princess on your friends list?

Who should rule fandom with an iron fist? (And if there's anyone who already does, include that name here, too.)

Congratulations! You now rule fandom with an iron fist. Who is the power behind your throne?

Who is most likely to have novelty underwear featuring alligators? Who has the best novelty underwear collection just generally?

Who has impeccable toenail hygiene?

Who deserves a pony?

The detective summons your friends list to the parlor to reveal everything. Who is the detective? Who are the usual suspects? And who is carrying the gun?

Who would look fabulous with a lorgnette?

Who carries poison in her cleavage and knows how to use it?

It's two in the morning and you've just been arrested for drunken acts of obscene protest. Who do you call for bail and a ride?

Who wears a spandex costume under her clothes? And what is her superpower?

Who is a time traveler from the future? Is her mission observation, alteration of the time stream, or protectio

Who is a pirate?

Who is a ninja?

Who is both a pirate and a ninja?

Who is a mad scientist?

Whose animagus is a T. Rex?

You've inherited a taxidermy squirrel army. Who do you give it to? ("I keep it for myself, of course!" is not an acceptable answer.)

Who speaks the language of the giant squids?

You are a sock puppet. Whose sock puppet are you?

Who is here visiting us from another planet?

Who thinks it's a dirty job, but knows someone has to do it?

Who is the new straight-shooting sheriff who has ridden into this town to clean it up once and for all?

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