tried to eat the safe banana (thefourthvine) wrote,
tried to eat the safe banana

Dear Yuletide Writer

Dear Yuletide Writer,

Hi! I love you. I just wanted to start out by saying that.

Also, my requests are MUCH LESS CRAZY than last year (with the exception of the request that's always there and always crazy, and since you've seen my request list I'm sure you know what I mean), so that's a very good thing, right?

Don't leave me, Yuletide Writer!

Sorry. I'm trying to make you like me and want to write for me, because my writer last year defaulted without notice and my writer the year before that defaulted with notice, and I am starting to feel like maybe I have a certain aura of undesirability about me when it comes to Yuletide. I got seriously awesome stories both times - I always get seriously awesome stories - but I worry that I, you know, have driven people away with my crazy wrongness.

So: please stay! I am a nice person and a nice recipient. I can provide references if desired.

And now I will tell you about me and my requests in excessive and disturbing length. If that's going to throw you off, no need to read. Instead I will just say: please please please do not harm children or animals in the story you write for me. Otherwise, follow your heart.


If you're curious about what I like in fan fiction - this is mostly a recs journal. If it's recommended here, I loved it. So that's one resource.

But that might take more time than you have, so let me offer a summary for the busy Yuletide author on the go. I love:
  • Happy endings
  • Humor
  • Good grammar and spelling
  • Snappy dialog
  • Plot
  • Point of view
  • Smut
  • Many, many other things
My squicks include:
  • Animal and child harm or death. These are my absolute deal-breaker squicks; I can't deal with them at all.
  • Embarrassment
  • Misogyny and gratuitous abuse of women.
  • Incest. (This really should not be an issue with any of my requests, but, hey, I figure warning is always good.)
  • Vastly underage or serious underage/overage explicit sex.
Liz Williams - Inspector Chen series

There are three things that I think are awesome about this series.
  • The characters. I love Chen and Inari and Zhu Irzh, even if I cannot for the life of me figure out how to pronounce Zhu Irzh (I tend to go with Zoo Ers, but it sounds so much less demonic than it looks). I have special love for Inari, which is hard, because she doesn't appear in the books as much as the other two. I would especially love it if Inari got to be truly active - not reactive or passive - in your story.

    And I firmly, firmly believe that the best possible outcome for the three of them would be a threesome of some description. Chen is just the right guy to be involved with two demons, since he's clearly kinked that way - he's even attracted to Zhu Irzh at one point because of his demonic nature. Zhu Irzh has a conscience that is only going to get him into trouble in Hell, but that might serve him nicely in an earthly relationship with a human and a very nice demon girl. And Inari obviously loves Chen a lot, but she might also enjoy a taste of home.

  • The concept and the world. I love the way Heaven and Hell are portrayed in this world. I am especially curious about what other cultures' Heavens and Hells might look like, so if you want to take me on a tour of one or more of those, that would be fabulous.

  • The cases. Mysteries are awesome! When they are mixed up with theological matters and gods and demons and magic, they are even MORE awesome. I'm always up for more mystery.
E L Konigsburg - The Mysterious Edge of the Heroic World.

I find what Konigsburg did in this book interesting; to me, she very clearly told us, "OH HAI THESE TWO ARE GAY," but she never actually said it. There's a lot she's not saying overtly in this book, a lot that she expects and enables the reader to infer, and I love that.

But, of course, I also want the overt text. Which is where fan fiction comes in!

I think Amedeo and William are adorable and sweet, but, you know, they're still kids. So I'd love to see them when they're older.

There's a huge difference between these two in terms of class and background, and I'd love to see how that plays out in their future relationship (or friendship, if slash is not something you can go for).

Pretty much anything else goes. I'd love to see more about the antiques business, more about history, more about art, more of their mothers, or more of their (very complicated relationships with) their fathers, but all this is totally optional. Mostly what I want is to see Amedeo and William growing up, and grown up - and maybe dealing with being queer with the same dignity and realism that Konigsburg gives them in the book.

Scrubs - Nick Murdoch/John Dorian

I love Scrubs for the humor, and also for the (do I get drummed off the cynics' block if I say humanity?) humanity inside the humor.

This is one of those rare TV fandoms where I've actually seen some of the canon, and some of what I have seen not only made me laugh but still makes me laugh when I remember it. And J.D.'s voice is what makes this show work a lot of the time. (I actually watched episodes of the show because I fell in love with the humor and the voice of it via fan fiction, and then there wasn't any more. I had no choice but to turn to canon.) So, you know, humor and voice: very important to me.

The humanity thing is equally important to me in this case, because I'm requesting a big ol' pile of romance, here. Nick! J.D.! A happy ending that involves the lovin'! So, you know, like the show, except more gay, with more stable romantic relationships, and a happy ending.

Oh, and two other notes: I am only vaguely canon compliant for the first and second seasons, and know virtually nothing about the later seasons, so do not feel constrained in any way. And, also - shameful confession time - I actually like Dr. Cox and Jordan together. They are my secret het OTP of love and barbed wire. So, you know, if you don't have to break them up or trample on Jordan, well, that will be even better for me.

RPF - Charles Baudelaire

These details are pretty much a repeat of last year. Because, well, I ask for this pretty much every year.

There's a reason why I always put this request fourth: it's certifiable. Or maybe I am. But still. I love Charles Baudelaire so much, and I find the world he describes in his poetry so fascinating, and I would love to see a story about him, especially if it's set in the world his poetry describes. (And, by the way - she wasn't in the character list, but if you want to include Jeanne Duval, by all means DO.) If you want to throw in a crossover, well, Angelus from the Jossverse seems obvious to me; in the Angel episode She he makes it clear he knew Baudelaire, and frankly that explains so much. But do whatever! The choice is yours!

I have no single favorite translation of his works; I think most of the translators rocked some of the poems and totally failed on others, so I kind of pick and choose. However, in case you're unaware of it, there is an awesome resource for Baudelaire's poetry online: You can find translations of all the poems here, and there's at least one good one for almost all of them. I whole-heartedly recommend it.

(Oh, and I should note: I don't speak French. I know, I know, I'm totally pathetic, reading Baudelaire in translation. I own it. My point is - a realistic, period Paris background is desirable; I've done enough reading about Baudelaire that I would love that. But realistic language would be kind of a problem, since, you know, I couldn't read it.)

And, well - in general I love lighter, happier stories with happy endings. I crave the happy! Except here. Baudelaire's story is not happy, and neither is his ending, and I would in no way want you to change that. Go to town - go for creepy, go for tragic, go for crazy. Whatever you feel works. (Just, I know with Baudelaire it's tempting, but if you could try hard not to hurt animals or children, that would be awesome. Feel free to abuse Baudelaire all you want.) I will read with gratitude and wonder, and I will fully appreciate it, because Baudelaire's story is totally a lush, insane tragedy.
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